


On Your Mind

by jiminie



Series: Elusive Heart [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Romance, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-13 10:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 60,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7973845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiminie/pseuds/jiminie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>10:10 is Seokmin’s favourite time of the day. He tells Seungkwan, who’s working beside him, as much and receives a snort of laughter in return.</p>
<p>“That’s because you’re in love, idiot.”</p>
<p>/previously titled Time Isn't Real/</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Profiteroles

10:10 is Seokmin’s favourite time of the day. He tells Seungkwan, who’s working beside him, as much and receives a snort of laughter in return.

 

“That’s because you’re in love, idiot,” Seungkwan shakes his head, still drying the mug he washed 10 minutes ago, “come on, look alive, if I can’t be paid to stand around looking pretty, you can’t be paid to stand around looking marginally less pretty.” But Seokmin is no longer listening, his eyes transfixed on the wall clock ticking annoyingly constantly on the other side of the cafe. 9:58. Somehow, it’s worse knowing the time is so close, yet so far, than it had been earlier that morning when Seokmin had first opened the cafe at 6:45.

 

“Hey, lover boy,” Seungkwan punctuates the remark with a whip of his tea towel at Seokmin’s shoulder, “Time doesn’t go any faster staring at a clock.”

 

“I think you’re forgetting who’s the hyung here,” Seokmin pouts, but begrudgingly returns to restocking the disposable cups “And time isn’t real anyway.”

 

Seungkwan smirks “It seems to be pretty real for you whenever Mr.10:10 comes in.”

 

“You know nothing.”

 

“I know you’ve given him at least 4 free cups of coffee.”

 

“Don’t you have a job to do?” Seokmin doesn’t even try to disguise changing the subject - as much as he loves Seungkwan, Seokmin is quite happy keeping his admiration of a certain customer completely and utterly undiscussed. Seungkwan disagrees.

 

“Yes I do, hyung. As do you. But seeing as you weren’t doing yours, why should I do mine?”

 

“Do as I say not as I do?” Seokmin offers weakly, prompting an eyeroll from Seungkwan, who opens his mouth to retort, and Seokmin is saved by the bell on the door dinging as a customer walks in. Before even looking at the customer, Seokmin checks the time. 10:01. Goddamn it.

 

“Hello, w- oh it’s you,” Seungkwan’s acidic greeting is met with a grin from Hansol. Seokmin rolls his eyes.

 

“It’s me,” Hansol smirks and Seungkwan flushing face is such a strange mix of emotion that Seokmin lets out a laugh, receiving a glare from Seungkwan when he doesn’t disguise it as a cough quickly enough. Hansol is recent regular who, unlike other patrons who come for the great, reasonably priced food and drink, seems to come for the sheer pleasure of flirting with Seungkwan, much to Seungkwan’s professed displeasure and Seokmin’s amusement and irritation.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“What do I want? That’s no way to treat a paying customer,” Hansol’s teasing smile elicits a frown out of Seungkwan.

 

“Fine. What can I do for you?” Seungkwan’s smile is deliberately transparent and only serves to make Hansol laugh and make Seokmin wish he was deaf. A lack of fairy godmothers in the area means he has to settle with greeting the woman and her daughter who just entered the gently murmuring cafe while pretending Seungkwan, Hansol, and their strange flirtation just doesn’t exist.

 

The girl is tiny, she has to go onto her tiptoes just to see the top shelf on the cake display Seokmin stands behind. Her face is scrunched up in an adorable frown of hard decision-making.

 

“And I can choose anything?” she asks her mum, who nods, laughing at her her daughter’s indecisiveness. The girl sighs and stares very hard at a raspberry cheesecake before giving equally as much attention to the collection of huge Viennese whirls sitting next to them. “It has to be special,” she says seriously “Hoshi-oppa said that he was really impressed and our dance was really special, so it _has_ to be special.”

 

“Special? I’m sure we can find you something super special,” Seokmin smiles “How do feel about a double chocolate brownie with icecream and strawberries?” The girl considers it carefully for a moment before nodding slowly, sharing a smile with Seokmin.

 

“Sounds good to me,” says the mum, pulling her wallet out of her hand bag “I’ll have a pot of tea and some of that raspberry cheesecake please.” Seokmin nods, ringing up the order with a smile. The girl skips off to find a table while Seokmin begins to fill a glass of water (“Hoshi-oppa says drinking water is very important for dancers.”) and checks the time. 10:07. Shit.

 

Seokmin feels woefully unprepared as he plates up the order. Normally, he has a good 5 minutes to properly freak out before Mr. 10:10 (Seokmin’s never been great at nicknames, so Seungkwan’s creation has to suffice), but all of his concentration was taken up by the girl and her mum and now he feels nervous. He probably shouldn’t - he’s not even gearing up to ask the guy out, despite Seungkwan’s encouragement. But he can feel his mouth getting drier and drier as butterflies fill his stomach while he tries to artistically place the strawberries on the girl’s dessert.

 

Gently tapping Seungkwan on the shoulder, he can feel his anxious nerves bubbling inside him along with a voice down screaming at him to ‘chill the hell out, it’s just a guy’. The voice sounds a lot like Hansol. Seokmin has no idea what that means, if anything, but it certainly doesn’t help with ‘chilling out’. Bracing his hands on the counter Seokmin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He lets out a little chuckle at his own rush of nerves before sighing. He stands up, pulling a smile on to his face, which melts right off again as he sees Mr.10:10 standing in front of him.

 

“Are you okay?” he asks and goddamn it, Seokmin is _screwed_. Mr. 10:10’s eyes are full of concern and warmth and Seokmin wants to melt into the cafe floor. He looks away to check the time. 10:09.

 

“Y-you’re early,” he coughs out in lieu of an answer and Seokmin is going to die because Mr. 10:10 laughs and it’s the most beautiful thing Seokmin has ever witnessed in his whole life.

 

“Early for what? Do I have an appointment or something?” at this, Seokmin laughs hoping that will draw attention away from his blush, trying desperately to think of something that isn’t as weird as ‘hey I think you’re really cute and I’ve noticed you always come here at 10:10, but today you came at 10:09, what’s up with that?’.

 

“Ah, well,” the truth will just have to do “you normally get here at 10:10. On the dot. Everyday. And well, you’re early.” Seokmin smiles sheepishly, willing his warm cheeks to calm down.

 

To his surprise, Mr.10:10 blushes. “Ah yeah. I let my dance class out a little early today - they all did amazingly on their examinations so I told them to go off and have fun,” a grin flashes across his face, “And anyway, time isn’t real.” A laugh bubbles out of a surprised Seokmin, and he can feel Seungkwan’s knowing look on the back of his neck from where he’s standing opposite Hansol, who’s seated on one of the red vinyl stools. He doesn’t care. Seokmin’s strangely feeling more confident now, less like Mr. 10:10 is someone he should be nervous around, although the butterflies stay.

 

“I definitely have to agree with you there,” Seokmin says and he wishes he could say something else, anything just to keep Mr. 10:10’s attention for a little longer, but he can’t think of anything and just smiles back at Mr.10:10 who seems perfectly happy just smiling back. Seokmin has never really been able to look at Mr. 10:10 this long - he often comes in with at least 2 friends, and when he does come alone, Seokmin has freaked himself out into not saying anything of substance more than what’s necessary. He mentally thanks the little girl and her mum for taking up his freaking out time.

 

Seokmin thinks he could stare at Mr. 10:10’s face all day - from his frankly adorable smile, to his eyes that almost cartoonishly disappear when he grins, to his hair that looks so soft and silky pushed back with a backwards cap emblazoned with the word -

 

Hoshi.

 

“Hoshi-oppa!” Seokmin says far too loudly, because apparently his verbal filter is taking a holiday today. Mr. 10:10 - or Hoshi now - is looking at Seokmin with a combination of confusion and amusement. “I - there was a girl,” Hoshi quirks an eyebrow and Seokmin wants to laugh or perhaps cry. The floor is, again, looking very attractive as a place to melt into. “She called you Hoshi-oppa, and with your cap I just realised that you,” he wants to die “that you -”

 

“That I am Hoshi-oppa, yeah.”

 

“Yeah,” Seokmin can feel a nervous laugh threatening at the base of his throat, which is not being helped by Hoshi’s goddamn smiley eyes that make him want to grin and maybe hold Hoshi’s hand (that he hasn’t been silently admiring) and laugh at his jokes (that Seokmin has not been listening to whenever he can) and run his hands through his hair (that Seokmin has not been staring at for weeks) and Seokmin is so, so, done with himself. He bites his lip and holds eye contact with Hoshi, hoping his desperation bleeds through somehow.

 

Hoshi starts to laugh. It’s a gentle chuckle and Seokmin loves the sound already. “Well, you can call me Hoshi, even Hoshi-oppa if you want,” Seokmin blushes at the smirk thrown his way, “but that my dance name. Normally most people who aren’t either in my dance group or class call me Soonyoung. Well, they call me a lot of other things too, like my mum calls me her little starfish, and Chan called me mum once, but my friends call me Soonyoung. That’s what I’d like us to be. Not Soonyoung, ‘cause I’m Soonyoung, and you’re Seokmin, because that’s what it says on your name tag. But friends. I’d like us to be friends.” Soonyoung finishes breathless, eyes glinting. Seokmin grins. Hosh- Soonyoung sounds nervous and he’s glad that that part isn’t totally one-sided.

 

“Me too, I-”

 

“Have you guys finally finished flirting so Seokmin can do his job or should I give you another 10 minutes or so?” Seokmin feels a trickle of guilt as he looks around the cafe that has become a lot busier without Soonyoung or Seokmin noticing in the time they’ve been talking. But he glances between Soonyoung’s slightly flushed cheeks and Seungkwan’s smug look and can’t really bring himself to care as he knows Seungkwan lives to have the whole cafe as smitten with him as possible, and there’s something addictive about talking to Soonyoung, like he could talk to him without stopping and never get bored. Seokmin probably shouldn’t think too much about that, especially with their freshly blooming friendship, which is decidedly staying as friendship.

 

“Seokmin can do his job, and continue flirting as I’m going to place an order now,” Soonyoung says, a crafty smirk spreading easily across his face “can I have a medium hot chocolate with some of your profiteroles? Oh and also your number? I want to text my new best buddy.” Seokmin blushes as Seungkwan laughs, shaking his head.

 

“And will that be all, sir?” and Seokmin gives himself a mental pat on the back for that recovery.

 

“Yes, thank you, good sir,” Soonyoung bows.

 

“My pleasure, good sir,” Seokmin bows.

 

Soonyoung bows again, grinning “Sir.”

 

“Sir.”

 

“Sir.”

 

“Sir.”

 

“Oh my god, you need to stop!” Seungkwan is looking between Seokmin and Soonyoung as if he’s never seen them before.

 

“Yes sir,” Soonyoung bows.

 

“Sorry sir,” Seokmin follows him.

 

“Won’t happen again, sir.”

 

“We’ll do better, sir.”

 

“Definitely sir.”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“Jesus christ, you two deserve each other,” Seungkwan’s voice is tinged with amusement and disgust as he throws his tea towel down on the counter and flounces off to where Hansol has been watching, sipping coffee with mirth in his eyes. They watch him leave, both laughing at his dramatics.

 

“So how much do I owe?” Soonyoung smiles after their laughter has died away.

 

“Oh, it’s okay I’ll cover it.”

 

“Seokmin,” and wow, Seokmin loves the way Soonyoung says his name, “not again, okay? I can pay.” Seokmin knows he should let it go. He needs to start getting over his crush on Soonyoung this second. Crushes on friends just don’t work out well and Seokmin doesn’t want to kill his relationship with Soonyoung before it’s even begun. But even so, Seokmin wants to. He just wants to do nice things for Soonyoung, anything to keep him smiling and while his thoughts aren’t strictly friendly, (although platonic hand holding is a thing that Seokmin feels that Soonyoung would be open to) friends are allowed to do nice things for each other. Things like buying them hot chocolate and profiteroles.

 

“Too late, I’ve already charged it to myself,” Seokmin grins, and receives an eyeroll that he’d like to place as fond, “so off you go, find a seat, my good sir.”

 

“That’s Mr. Good Sir to you, my good sir,” Soonyoung grins and Seokmin watches him go with a tender smile.

 

“Don’t,” he warns Seungkwan, who’s smirking at him from where he’s standing near Hansol who appears to be showing him something on his phone.

 

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Seungkwan’s voice is full of false innocence, “but you clearly think there’s something I should’ve said.” Seokmin gives him a look and starts preparing Soonyoung’s drink. He’s just put Soonyoung’s order onto a tray before Seungkwan passes him a clean napkin and a pen. “It’s so you can give him your number. It was part of his order after all,” Seungkwan smiles sweetly. Seokmin takes the offered napkin and whacks Seungkwan on the nose with the pen.

 

“Shut up and go flirt with your boyfriend.” Seokmin says with a blush, which Seungkwan echoes.

 

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

 

“Not yet,” Hansol interjects with a grin, “but I’m working on it.” Seungkwan’s blush increases tenfold, and he advances on Hansol, tea towel in hand, mumbling about ‘disrespectful brats’ and ‘not anyone’s boyfriend thank you very much’. Seokmin decides to leave them to it.

 

After scribbling his number down on the napkin, Seokmin takes a deep breath and makes his way over to where Soonyoung is sitting. He’s staring out of the window, seemingly lost in thought with a gentle smile on his face and Seokmin feels nervous all over again. The sunlight streaming through the cafe’s windows is catching on Soonyoung’s profile and he seems to almost glow. Seokmin wouldn’t be surprised if Soonyoung was glowing. Plucking up courage from somewhere, Seokmin clears his throat.

 

“One hot chocolate, one plate of profiteroles, and one amazingly adorable and hilarious guy’s number, Mr. Good Sir.”

 

Soonyoung laughs. “Thank you my good sir, I see you remembered my proper name, thank you for that.”

 

“No problem at all Mr. Good Sir.”

 

“I don’t suppose I could get a certain amazingly adorable and hilarious guy to come and share these profiteroles with me?” Soonyoung smiles and Seokmin really, really wants to. He’d rather sit here sharing profiteroles with Soonyoung and staring at his friend’s adorable face than working any day. But he can’t. It might possibly kill him.

 

“I can’t. Seungkwan might possibly kill me,” he says, which is close enough to the truth. At least the regret in his voice is genuine though. Seokmin hates keeping secrets - surprise birthday parties are within his abilities, but past that he’s useless. Having a secret crush on a friend isn’t one he thinks he can deal with at all.

 

But Soonyoung just laughs, and Seokmin’s heart feels lighter. He laughs too, because Seokmin dares anyone to not find Soonyoung’s laughter contagious.

 

“Damn, that’s a real shame,” Soonyoung says like he really means it, “perhaps another time then?”

 

“Sure,” Seokmin says with an eager grin, “I’d like that.”

 

“Wait - when does your shift end?”

 

“In about,” Seokmin checks the wall clock - 10:56, “14 minutes.”

 

“I reckon I can wait that long. Especially if you fix us up some more hot chocolate and profiteroles.”

 

“Consider it done.”

 

“And Seokmin?” Soonyoung has a new, teasing, edge to his voice, “I’m paying this time. For both of us. What kind of oppa would I be if I didn’t pay for my dongsaeng?”

 

“You’re not going to let that go are you?”

 

“Oh never - you look too cute when you blush for me to stop.” And true to Soonyoung’s words, Seokmin blushes. He wasn’t sure he could blush this much before this morning.

 

“Is everything to your satisfaction, Mr. Good Sir?” Seokmin says with a bow, because the day he learns to properly deal with compliments may come, but not any time soon.

 

“Yes thank you, my good sir. I am quite satisfied,” Soonyoung echoes his bow and grins. Seokmin thinks he might have to sue Soonyoung for injury in the workplace because his heart cannot keep stopping like this.

 

“Okay, good, cool,” Seokmin is going to embarrass himself into an early grave because he shoots finger guns at Soonyoung, who is a saint because instead of looking at Seokmin like he’s grown an extra arm, he just laughs. “I’m gonna - yeah,” he gestures back to the counter and leaves Soonyoung with one last broad smile.

 

Seungkwan’s knowing look is back on his face when he returns. Seokmin merely looks pointedly at Hansol, who is smiling down at something on his phone, unaware of Seungkwan’s flaming cheeks when he follows Seokmin’s gaze.

“Okay, touché,” Seungkwan mutters as he turns with a smile to serve a family of six who have just entered the cafe. The next few minutes pass as a blur for Seokmin - he only looks at the time once, when Soonyoung comes back to the counter and gives Seokmin a look before ordering two hot chocolates and two plates of profiteroles, paying before Seokmin can even open his mouth. Not that Seokmin would anyway - there’s a glint in Soonyoung’s eyes and Seokmin feels a shiver on the back of his neck; another thought to not-examine later.

 

Seokmin completes the order in record time, and as soon as the clock hits 11:10, his apron is off and in the hands of a sleepy Mingyu who has just walked through the staff entrance at the back of the cafe. Tray in hand, Seokmin walks the now familiar route to Soonyoung’s table, pulse pounding in his neck. He needs to stop being so nervous, damn it, but that would require Soonyoung to stop being so attractive and funny and sweet and that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

 

“Two hot chocolates and two plates of profiteroles, and one amazingly adorable and hilarious guy to share them with,” Seokmin grins as he slides into the seat opposite Soonyoung, who looks up at him with his own smile stretched across his face.

 

“Perfect,” Soonyoung says, looking Seokmin in the eye and altogether sounding like he means it far too much. Seokmin blushes.

 

“Well, I reckon they must be pretty good, if you decided to go for the profiteroles again.”

 

“Profiteroles are kind of my weakness,” Soonyoung admits with a laugh, “profiteroles and cute guys' smiles.” Seokmin almost drops his hot chocolate, making Soonyoung snicker into a profiterole. Taking a profiterole with a small smile, Seokmin notices there’s a smudge of cream on Soonyoung’s top lip.

 

“You’ve got some-” Seokmin taps his own lip, and Soonyoung grins, licking it off, and really Seokmin should be using this opportunity to practice _not staring at Soonyoung’s mouth._ But for that he would need some kind of self control, which is something he resolutely does not have.

 

“Thanks,” Soonyoung grins and Seokmin thinks that maybe he can live with that. He has to.


	2. Ice Cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold - Soonyoung  
> Normal - Seokmin  
> Underlined - Mingyu

**(18:53) hey its soonyoung :^)**

 

(18:53) Um, sorry, do I know you?

 

**(18:54) oh shoot sorry. I might have the wrong number**

 

Seokmin is torn between banging his head against his kitchen cupboard or patting himself on the back. Whoever said that texting is easier than talking to people in real life is a dirty liar.

 

**(18:54) no I don’t.**

 

**(18:54) Seokmin You Little Troll**

 

(18:54) … you called?

 

**(18:55) actually, I texted**

 

(18:55) ha. ha. very funny. are you proud of yourself?

 

**(18:55) a little, yeah**

 

At least Soonyoung doesn’t seem offended. He seems amused and Seokmin hopes he’s smiling. Seokmin likes Soonyoung’s smile - possibly far too much.

 

 **(18:56) also I Hate** **™**

 

(18:56) you Hate™?

 

**(18:56) shh you, I wasn’t finished**

 

(18:57) sorry, sorry

 

**(18:57) thank you**

 

 **(18:57) I Hate** **™ my bus route**

 

(18:57) what did the bus route ever do to you?

 

**(18:58) killed my wife and children.**

 

(18:58) I’m sorry for your loss.

 

**(18:58) don’t be, my wife left me anyway**

 

Seokmin’s weakness for funny people is actually going to kill him. Soonyoung isn’t allowed to be getting more attractive the more Seokmin talks to him. It’s unfair.

 

**(18:58) and the kids were figments of my imagination**

 

Soonyoung seems quite content with being unfair.

 

(18:59) you’re saying your wife wasn’t also a figment of your imagination?

 

**(18:59) well**

 

**(18:59) a figment of my imagination leaving me would be a bit sad**

 

(18:59) but that’s what happened though.

 

**(18:59) wow. Savage.**

 

(19:00) I do my best.

 

(19:00) but why do you Hate™ your bus route?

 

**(19:00) ok so I catch my bus just outside the dance school I teach at**

 

And Seokmin is once again reminded that Soonyoung is far too perfect - teaching children to dance? How much more adorable can you get? Seokmin has a bad feeling that Soonyoung is going to take that question as a challenge and he’s not sure his heart can deal with that.

 

**(19:00) and after the lesson I like to have a chat with the little old ladies I teach**

 

Seokmin hates being proven right.

 

**(19:00) but I can’t stay for long because my bus driver is ruthless as heck**

 

**(19:01) he’d willingly leave me in the dust if he could**

 

(19:01) ...maybe the question I should have asked is what have you done to your bus driver??

 

**(19:01) nOTHING!!!**

 

**(19:01) I have Never wronged him.**

 

(19:01) perhaps he jealous of your mad game with the little old ladies?

 

**(19:02) Excuse You.**

 

**(19:02) My relationship with my students is entirely platonic. Iam a Proffesionsl**

 

(19:02) a professional who can’t spell

 

**(19:02) HEY**

 

**(19:03) You COme INtO mY HOUse**

 

**(19:03) oN MY daUGHTeRS wEddING DaY**

 

(19:03) EXCUSE YOU - YOU MEAN OUR DAUGHTERS WEDDING DAY

 

(19:03) JUST BECAUSE WE’RE DIVORCED IT DOESN’T MEAN SHE’S NOT MY DAUGHTER AS MUCH AS YOURS

 

**(19:04) I WAS THE ONE WHO CARRIED HER FOR 9 YEARS**

 

(19:04) 9 years?? Wow that’s a long pregnancy

 

**(19:04) oh**

 

**(19:04) o fr*ck**

 

**(19:04) I really messed that one up.**

 

(19:05) it’s ok

 

(19:05) you may be a bit dumb

 

(19:05) but i still love you babe

 

Seokmin is going to punch himself in the face.

 

**(19:06) that’s Mr. Babe to you**

 

(19:06) sorry, Mr. Babe

 

**(19:06) no problem babe <3**

 

Or Seokmin _would_ punch himself in the face, only he’s died - whether he’s in heaven or in hell he doesn’t know. But he does know he needs to change the subject. And fast.

(19:07) <3

 

(19:07) so what IS the problem with your bus route if it isn’t that the bus driver is jealous of the attention you get from your dance class?

 

**(19:07) oh well**

 

**(19:08) just before the bus gets to my area where my stop is**

 

**(19:08) there’s this turning**

 

**(19:08) that takes the bus approximately a billion miles away from my area**

 

**(19:08) just to go to this one stop**

 

**(19:08) and its frustrating - it lets me within sight of my area**

 

**(19:08) but then no**

 

**(19:09 I have to be dragged away to repent for my sins**

 

(19:09) I can believe that

 

**(19:09) ok rude. You aren’t wrong to believe it. But rude**

 

(19:09) I can live with that.

**(19:10) -_-**

 

**(19:10) ANYWAY as i was saying before i got so RUDELY interrupted**

 

**(19:10) today i fell asleep on the bus because although i may not look it, i am but a weak, mortal human**

 

**(19:10) so i panicked and got off at the soonest stop I could cause I thought I missed it**

 

**(19:11) and well**

 

(19:11) don’t tell me you got off at the stop that’s like a million miles away from where you live?

 

**(19:11) its more like a billion miles away**

 

(19:11) oh my god

 

**(19:12) another nickname? I told you, you can call me Soonyoung, but I suppose god could work**

 

(19:12) Soonyoung. I have no words.

 

**(19:12) that’s what emojis are for my friend**

 

(19:13) but are you okay?? Have you got home yet??

**(19:13) ahh you’re too sweet, worrying about me like that**

**(19:13) but no, I haven’t got home yet, the bus schedule is super irregular**

**(19:13) I texted you as soon as it happened, so I haven’t ordered a taxi or anything yet**

It’s not fair that Soonyoung can make Seokmin blush when he’s not even here.

(19:14) where even are you??

**(19:14) you know that convenience store a few streets east of your cafe? I’m currently in the magazine aisle there**

(19:14) okay

(19:15) that’s not too far from me

Seokmin takes a deep breath. Today has been a very brave day for him.

(19:15) do you want me to come pick you up? I was just about to make dinner

**(19:15) are you sure? I mean thats really sweet and I appreciate it but I don’t want to put you out or anything**

(19:15) I’m sure, I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t. I’m sure my roommate won’t mind at all either.

Mingyu better not mind. Seokmin has suffered through third-wheeling on enough of Mingyu and his ‘friend’ Wonwoo’s ‘not-dates’ for Mingyu to at least owe him this. Although, knowing Mingyu ‘owing’ probably won’t even come into it and he’ll just be excited to meet Soonyoung no matter what.

**(19:16) well if you’re sure, I can’t really say no :^)**

(19:16) okay, i’m heading off now - see you soon?

**(19:16) see you soon! I’m waiting for you my saviour, my sweet prince!**

 

Seokmin only just manages to catch his phone before it hits the floor. If Soonyoung carries on like this Seokmin feels he’d be right in calling Soonyoung a threat to society. Or at least a threat to Seokmin’s sanity. He quickly fires a text off to Mingyu, because even if he is sure Mingyu will be happy to have Soonyoung around, Seokmin is a good roommate.

(19:16) Hey, my friend missed his bus stop and he’s nearby, so I invited him around for dinner. Is that okay with you?

(19:16) Yeah sure! It’s all good

As Seokmin shrugs on his coat he catches his reflection in the mirror and hastily tries to flatten the cowlicks that have sprung up all over his head from taking an impromptu nap after his history of modern architecture lecture. His hair remains stubbornly fixed, springing back with every attempt to squash it down. Seokmin sighs, consoling himself with the fact that part of being friends is seeing each other at their worst as well as their best, including post-nap bed head hair. As Seokim locks the door to the apartment, he wonders whether seeing Soonyoung’s best or worst would destroy him more.

The air is warm, but not heavy, with a gentle breeze sliding over Seokmin’s brow as he walks to the convenience store. His head is buzzing, a common side-effect of speaking to Soonyoung for more than a minute, and he barely focuses on where he’s walking. Seokmin could probably make the trip to the store blindfolded, though. He and Mingyu try their best, but the number of midnight food runs greatly outweighs the amount done in daylight.

Darkness has barely had time to settle over the streets, but a crowd of moths is already humming around the aggressively lurid shop sign. Seokmin steels himself and enters, taking a basket out of sheer habit. A flush rises on his cheeks. He briefly debates turning around and putting it back but he can feel the eyes of at least three ajummas on the back of his neck and his feet are already carrying him further into the store. After staring at a collection of tinned vegetables for a minute, his mind blank, Seokmin remembers what, or rather who, he is here for.

True to his word, Soonyoung is in the magazine aisle, smiling down at his phone and Seokmin feels a pang in his chest. The unholy glare of the shop lights is harsh but it only serves to give Soonyoung an inhuman glow as it illuminates the sweep of his jawline. Seokmin’s breath gets caught in his throat and he doubts that it’ll be for the last time. He wishes he could freeze this moment - not like a photograph, but like a memory recorded on film imbibed with the gentle way he can feel himself growing more and more attached and attracted to Soonyoung.

Seokmin mentally shakes himself. Soonyoung is his friend - a new friend - and one he wants to keep. Having romantic feelings for Soonyoung has Bad Idea written all over it - even if Seokmin scares himself into saying weird things to Soonyoung, their conversation is easy and natural. If Soonyoung knew he felt more romantic feelings than platonic ones, Seokmin doesn’t doubt he’d be wonderful about it, but that ease and comfort would evaporate and Seokmin doesn’t think he could bear that.

Telling himself to stop thinking so much, Seokmin walks up behind Soonyoung softly, basket in hand, and a sly grin of his face. He stops about a meter behind his target and gives the basket a few experimental swings before he tosses it so it lands on Soonyoung’s head.

“Pokeball, let’s go!” the basket leaves his fingertips as he shouts, startling Soonyoung who spins, seeing the basket and shuffling forward a step to catch it on his head while Seokmin laughs. Slowly, Soonyoung brings a hand up to his face and clutches at the basket.

“My face! My face! My beautiful face!” Seokmin can see Soonyoung’s eyes smiling through the holes in the basket, even if his mouth is contorted into an exaggerated grimace as he wails. “What have you done to me? You- you heathen!”

 

“It was in the name of catching them all,” Seokmin manages to say  before breaking out into more laughter “I’m so sorry, can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”

 

“You don’t sound too sorry to me.”

 

“I am, I promise - just very deep down.” Soonyoung makes a noise of indignation and folds his arms.

 

“Well that’s not good enough,” he says with a pout.

 

“What can I do to make it up to you?” Seokmin schools his expression into one of desperate pleading, the laughter in his eyes mirrored in Soonyoung.

 

“Hmm,” Soonyoung thinks for a moment, stroking his basket chin, “You should get down on your knees and swear your undying love for me.” Wordlessly, Seokmin sinks to the floor, taking one of Soonyoung’s hands in both of his.

 

“Soonyoung,” Seokmin looks directly into Soonyoung’s eyes, “I am deeply sorry for ruining your face-”

 

“My beautiful face.”

 

“Your beautiful face,” Seokmin concedes, “which I ruined by trying to make a frankly weak Pokemon joke.” Soonyoung is biting his lip, trying not to laugh - which Seokmin takes as a personal challenge to get him to laugh. “I hope you can forgive me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” and this is sounding far too sentimental, like words he’d like to say for real sometime in the future. Seokmin needs something, anything, as long as it doesn’t sound real.

 

Seokmin is a genius.

 

“We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just want-”

 

“Okay enough! Oh my god,” Soonyoung laughs.

 

“My name’s Seokmin, but god w-”

 

“Don’t,” Soonyoung says, smiling as he pushes the basket onto the back of his head. The cap from this morning is trapped underneath it, but the white t-shirt and sweatpants are gone, replaced by ripped black jeans and an incredibly soft and fluffy looking jumper. Seokmin doesn’t know how it’s possible for Soonyoung to look incredibly hot and adorable at the same time, but he’s ready to send a strongly worded letter to whoever decided it was okay to allow that to happen.

 

“So you can make jokes like that, but I can’t?” Seokmin stands as he speaks and the gap between them is very small now. Seokmin looks down at Soonyoung, the height difference between them seeming very important all of a sudden. He wonders if he were to kiss Soonyoung, whether Seokmin would bend down to meet him or whether Soonyoung would lift himself onto his toes, threading his arms around Seokmin’s neck and-

 

And that train of thought needs to leave and never come back. Ever.

 

“It’s part of your apology,” Soonyoung smiles “As is buying me ice cream.” Seokmin raises an eyebrow.

 

“I thought you were going to be a responsible oppa from now on,” Seokmin says, smiling. Soonyoung blushes.

 

“And I thought you were going to be a good dongsaeng and not throw baskets at me, but here we are.”

 

“Here we are,” Seokmin agrees, “wait, are you older than me? I’m 20.”

 

“Yeah, I’m 21.”

 

“So really, you should be buying me the ice cream, _hyung_.” Soonyoung gives Seokmin a small glare, but sighs and pulls the basket off his head.

 

“Fine, come on you little shit,” Soonyoung links his hand with Seokmin and pulls him towards the frozen food aisle. Seokmin’s palm tingles where Soonyoung is holding his hand, and he can feel his pulse pounding in his neck as he lets himself be dragged. He knew Soonyoung would like holding hands platonically, damn it.

 

Although Seokmin is fighting to push down a whirlwind of thoughts over analysing Soonyoung’s every action, he follows Soonyoung with a grin. Soonyoung doesn’t tell go of Seokmin’s hand as he takes stock of all the options. He steps back and raises up onto his tiptoes and a flush decorates Seokmin’s cheeks he’s reminded of his earlier thoughts about Soonyoung on his tiptoes, running his fingers through Seokmin’s hair and pressing their foreheads together before-

 

Seokmin needs to stop doing this.

 

“What do you think you’re going to go for?” Seokmin asks, ripping his mind away from any more than friendly thoughts. Soonyoung throws a look at him over his shoulder.

 

“I’m buying it for you, so you have to choose, idiot.”

 

“Oh right, yeah,” Seokmin flushes.

 

“Consider it a pre-emptive thank you for dinner, as well as those times you paid for me at the cafe.”

 

“You don’t have to do that,” Seokmin blushes.

 

“I know, I just want to, okay?” Soonyoung squeezes his hand and Seokmin thinks he might just die right there.

 

“Okay,” Seokmin says with a small smile.

 

“Maybe okay will be our always.” Soonyoung laughs as Seokmin groans.

 

“Go away and take your awful John Green references with you.”

 

“Nope, I’m staying,” Soonyoung tightens his grip on Seokmin’s hand, “you don't get rid of me that easily.” Seokmin rolls his eyes to stop himself just gazing at Soonyoung and grinning.

 

“What a shame,” He says, and  receives a kick in the back of his knee from Soonyoung.

 

“Rude, I am a gift.”

 

“You’re something, that’s for sure.”

 

“You know what, you can leave,” Soonyoung tries to shake his hand free as he speaks but Seokmin holds on tighter.

 

“Oh no you’re not,” Seokmin grins, “in the words of an idiot, ‘you don’t get rid of me that easily’.”

 

“I hate you so much right now,” Soonyoung pouts and Seokmin wants to kiss him. Instead he settles for rubbing circles on Soonyoung’s hand with his thumb.

 

“I love you too.” Soonyoung gives him a long suffering sigh, coupled with a look, but his gaze catches on something behind Seokmin.

 

“That lady is staring at us,” Soonyoung gestures with a nod of his head to a middle age woman, who has become incredibly interested in some almond milk.

 

"Ah that's my ex-girlfriend. She's still not over me," Seokmin says, grinning playfully.

 

"Should I be jealous?"

 

"You know I only have eyes for you, babe." This is dangerous territory, Seokmin knows, but he just can’t stop himself. His self control always has been terrible, but completing an essay he’d been set for 2 weeks in the half an hour before the deadline is different from letting you fool yourself into believing your friend that you have a crush on likes you back. Seokmin knows it’s probably just going to hurt later down the line - Soonyoung will find someone. He’s too beautiful and wonderful not to. And Seokmin will feel his heart shatter, and carry on loving Soonyoung as a friend.

 

He really needs to focus on loving Soonyoung as a friend.

 

But he’s making it very difficult - Soonyoung’s laughing easily at Seokmin, who hadn’t realised he’d echoed him. Seokmin thinks about how the two of them must look, holding hands and giggling together, with Seokmin smiling constantly - happy to just be in Soonyoung’s presence.

 

“If you don’t pick this ice cream soon, it’s all going to melt and we’ll have to eat brown ice cream sludge,” Soonyoung teases, tugging Seokmin closer to the freezers.

  
“That’s what the freezers are for, dummy,” Seokmin nudges Soonyoung with their clasped hands, but learns forward to look at the ice creams, “what’s your favourite flavour?”

 

“It changes, but salted caramel is a solid favourite.” Seokmin slides the freezer door open and picks up a tub of salted caramel and chocolate ice cream. Soonyoung gives him a look he can’t place, but says nothing. He takes the ice cream from Seokmin’s hands and puts it in the basket, and Seokmin feels a shiver and Soonyoung gives his hand a squeeze.

 

“Is there anything else you need or shall we go to the checkout?” There’s a softness to Soonyoung’s voice that Seokmin knows he could spend forever over-analysing. Soonyoung’s probably just tired, he tells himself firmly.

 

“I did a food shop yesterday evening so I think we should be fine - are you all set?”

 

“Yeah, I’m good,” Soonyoung adjusts the basket in his hand, “why did you bring a basket anyway?”

 

“Ah well,” Seokmin blushes, “I kind of picked it up out of habit and was too embarrassed to turn around.” Soonyoung laughs gently and gives Seokmin a heart attack by rubbing Seokmin’s hand softly. Learning to do everything on handed might be difficult, but it would be worth it, Seokmin thinks, just to keep holding Soonyoung’s hand forever.

 

“What would you have done with the basket if I hadn’t suggested ice cream?” Soonyoung asks when they reach the checkout, as Seokmin takes the ice cream out of the basket, which Soonyoung places on the basket stand. The movement seems so synchronised and practised and it makes Seokmin feel a yearning for the romantic domesticity he cannot have with Soonyoung.

 

“Probably end up buying something I didn’t need like that Mickey Mouse toilet brush over there,” Seokmin gestures with his head to the item in question and Soonyoung barks out a laugh when he sees it.

 

“Imagine being that much of a hardcore Disney fan that you want to scrub your toilet with Mickey Mouse’s head.”

 

“Sounds more like something a Disney hater would do,” Seokmin smiles at the cashier as he goes to pull out his wallet to pay.

 

“Hey, no, put that away,” Soonyoung knocks Seokmin’s wallet back as he puts his card into the machine, “I’m paying, we agreed this.” Seokmin slips his wallet back into his pocket, blushing.

 

“I told you, you don’t need to, hyung.”

 

“And I said I wanted to, okay?” Soonyoung smiles, “Let me do it.”

 

Seokmin’s voice gets stuck in his throat so he nods, smiling while Soonyoung completes the transaction and the cashier puts the ice cream in a bag. They thank her and, ice cream in hand, leave the shop.

 

There’s a companionable silence as they walk, lightly swinging their still entwined hands. Seokmin can barely stop himself from glancing at Soonyoung every five seconds, and he desperately tries to think of anything that isn’t the warmth of Soonyoung’s hand pressed against his, or how often their shoulders bump into one another, leaving them both smiling gently. And he certainly doesn’t need to think about how Seokmin inviting Soonyoung round for dinner and holding his hand are incredibly date-like things. Because this is not a date.

 

Seokmin feels his phone buzz in his pocket, and pulls it out. It’s from Mingyu. Thank god for Mingyu. Bless Mingyu and all he stands for, for it cannot be anything like a date if Mingyu is there.

 

(19:47) I hope you’re nearly home because dinner's nearly ready

 

Mingyu is pure and wonderful and Seokmin loves him. He is the best roommate and Seokmin is not going to say anything at all the next time Wonwoo comes over and they both end up falling asleep cuddling on the sofa. Seokmin had entirely forgotten about making the actual dinner, even though today is his turn, and he and Soonyoung would have arrived home to nothing. Mingyu is doing so much without realising and Seokmin feels blessed.

 

“Who’s that you’re texting?” Soonyoung asks, bumping his shoulder.

 

“Just my roommate,” Seokmin smiles, “he made dinner for us cause I completely forgot about it when I came to get you.”

 

“That’s kind of him - does he cook?”

 

“We both do - we once did this masterchef style competition and we got the old lady from across the hall, Seungkwan and my roommate’s friend that he’s in love with to judge. Mingyu won, but that’s because Won-”

 

“Mingyu?” Soonyoung stops walking, keeping Seokmin with him with a tug of his hand, “and Wonwoo?”

 

“Yeah, Mingyu’s my roommate and Wonwoo is his best friend. He comes round about four times a week.”

 

“I know,” Soonyoung grins as he starts walking, “Wonwoo is my roommate.”

 

“Wait, really?”

 

“Yeah, Wonwoo is barely ever at home, and if he is, Mingyu is with him.”

 

“Please tell me you agree that they-

 

“They need to get married like right now? Yes. Goddamn.”

 

“Goddamn.”

 

“Goddamn.”

 

“Goddamn. Come on, it’s just here.” Seokmin leads Soonyoung into the apartment building, past the out of order lift and up the stairs. “It’s sort of cool that you already know Mingyu,” he says as opens the door.

 

“Yeah, I’m glad I’ve got someone who understands the pain of Mingyu and Wonwoo being oblivious idiots,” Soonyoung grins brightly, as he kneels down to take of his shoes. Seokmin can hear the familiar sound of Mingyu’s cooking playlist - it’s mainly old EXO songs, with the occasional Tori Kelly ballad. As Seokmin and Soonyoung walk into the kitchen, Mingyu is stirring a saucepan of what looks like spaghetti bolognese while swaying to Exodus.

 

“Hey Mingyu-ah,” Soonyoung says while Seokmin hangs up his coat. Mingyu spins around, spoon in hand, and pounces on Soonyoung.

 

“Hi hyung,” Mingyu says breathlessly into Soonyoung’s hair, and Seokmin feels a flicker of envy. Not over Soonyoung or his attentions, but instead of the simple way Mingyu is unaffected by Soonyoung’s, well, everything. The way Mingyu can be platonically affectionate with Soonyoung and not want it to mean something more.

 

“Thanks for making dinner Mingyu,” Seokmin smiles, “I owe you one.”

  
“Ah it’s fine,” Mingyu says as he releases Soonyoung, “you’ve cooked when it was my turn a bunch of times when I was out with Wonu - how is Wonwoo, by the way?” Mingyu tosses the question over his shoulder at Soonyoung as he begins to serve the food.

 

“Last I saw him he was fine,” Soonyoung washes his hands in the kitchen sink as he talks, following Seokmin’s example, “but that was this morning. He could have been stabbed by now and I wouldn’t know. He’s still single, though.” There’s a mischievous glint in Soonyoung’s eyes as he gives Seokmin a crooked smirk, colour flaring up on the back of Mingyu’s neck.

 

“Good to know,” Mingyu mutters into the spaghetti, shooting Seokmin a glare as he sits down when Seokmin laughs.

 

“Speaking of Wonwoo,” Soonyoung says, pulling out his chair, “I should probably text him and tell him where I am.”

 

“Nah, it’s okay, I’ve got it,” says Mingyu, taking out his phone eagerly.Seokmin and Soonyoung share a look as they watch Mingyu smile, almost in adoration, down at his phone.

“Ah, thank you Mingyu,” Soonyoung’s eyes twinkle as he grins, “I appreciate that.”

 

“You’ve just given him an excuse to text Wonwoo - I’m surprised he’s not thanking you,” a pain shoots up Seokmin’s leg as he smiles sweetly at Mingyu.

 

“If you’re texting Wonwoo, can you tell him that he hasn’t won yet.”

 

“Sure, hyung,” Mingyu starts, “but what is it that Wonwoo hasn’t won?”

 

“Ah it’s just this bet we made ages ago - it’s kind of a joke now. Don’t worry about it, it’s not all that funny.” Seokmin frowns at Soonyoung’s vagueness, but hides it in a smile as he serves himself salad.

 

He wants to know. Seokmin doesn’t want Soonyoung to think there’s any part of him that Seokmin doesn’t want to hear about, anything at all that happens in his life - funny or not. He wants to know every part of Soonyoung - enough that he could write a book.

 

Seokmin wonders who Soonyoung’s best friend is. Are they as infatuated with Soonyoung as Seokmin is? He can understand why they would be - being that close to Soonyoung, knowing him that well - they’re probably at least halfway in love with him. Maybe Soonyoung’s best friend is his partner. Perhaps he has a girlfriend or a boyfriend or something else. Seokmin has never thought to ask. The answer is probably one he wouldn’t like. Soonyoung probably has a really hot boyfriend who works at an animal shelter or something equally as wonderful so Seokmin isn’t allowed to hate him - not even a little bit.

 

The food is great - Mingyu is a wonderful cook and spaghetti is one of his specialities - but there’s a bitter taste in Seokmin’s mouth. Taking a sip from his drink to chase it away, Seokmin looks over at Soonyoung. Their eyes meet, a sheepish smile on Sooyoung’s face that mirrors Seokmin’s own.

 

“How was your day, Mingyu?” The question is less about knowing about how Mingyu’s day has gone, and more about Seokmin giving himself something to distract his brain that’s desperate to over-analyse Soonyoung’s smile, or the way he looked away, or why he was even looking at Seokmin in the first place.

 

“Pretty good! My teacher really liked my technique in my photography project, and Wonwoo came to have lunch with me, which was super nice and we went for a walk and I saw a dog-”

 

“What kind of dog?” Seokmin returns his attention to Mingyu after exchanging a knowing glance with Soonyoung at the mention of Wonwoo.

 

“The owner said it was a golden doodle - it’s a cross between a golden retriever and a poodle - and he was so beautiful,” Mingyu smiles wistfully.

 

“Who, the dog or Wonwoo?” Soonyoung grins, holding his hand out to a laughing Seokmin who slaps it in a high five, while Mingyu flushes.

 

“Mean,” he mumbles, ducking his head. Soonyoung leans over to ruffle his hair, almost knocking his drink over, but Mingyu steadys it in the nick of time, smiling slightly. The rest of the dinner passes by quickly as a mix of teasing (and blushing on Mingyu’s part, which Soonyoung and Seokmin do not miss) and laughter (and fleeting, gentle looks on Soonyoung and Seokmin’s part, which Mingyu does not miss). Soon, it’s time for dessert, which Seokmin produces from out of the fridge.

 

“Soonyoung-hyung kindly bought some ice cream for us at the store, didn’t you hyung?” Soonyoung’s eyes narrow as Seokmin aims at him an insipid smile.

 

“Stopped calling me ‘oppa’ then, Seokmin-ah?” Soonyoung fires back with a glimmer in his eye. Mingyu merely looks puzzled.

 

“I’ll explain it to you later,” Seokmin tells him as he gets out bowls and spoons.

 

“It’s not going to be like that time you and Seungkwan tried to give me the sex talk, even after I told you I’d already had it, is it?” Seokmin blushes as Soonyoung giggles - and a grown man should not be able to produce a laugh that sounds so pure and wonderful, but here Soonyoung is to prove him wrong.

 

“Ah, but you hadn’t had the gay sex talk, and we felt the need to educate you,” this time it’s Mingyu’s turn to blush, Soonyoung’s laugh becoming increasingly hysterical, “I couldn’t have you going around having bad sex on my conscience.” Seokmin serves the ice cream grinning to himself as Soonyoung continues to laugh at a speechless Mingyu.

 

Seokmin finally takes pity on Mingyu and asks him about his latest photography work, which Soonyoung eagerly joins in with. Mingyu is just telling them about some of the new software he’s been working with for editing when Seokmin feels a bump against his foot. He looks across the table to see Soonyoung smiling wolfishly and nudges him back with his own foot. The war of footsie that ensues increases in severity, almost leading to either one of them kicking Mingyu, but neither of them break eye contact. Soonyoung really does have pretty eyes.

 

Neither of them notice that Mingyu has stopped talking, rolling his eyes as he glances below the table, leaving Soonyoung and Seokmin to beat each others feet into submission. They laugh and continue lightly shoving one another as they take their plates to the sink.

 

“I’ll wash,” Seokmin offers, turning on the tap.

 

“And I’ll dry,” Soonyoung confirms, taking a tea towel. The atmosphere is easy as they work and the domesticity makes Seokmin’s heart ache. Soonyoung is lightly humming an old SHINee song - Replay, if Seokmin's memory serves him correctly - and Seokmin thinks that perhaps if Soonyoung breaks his heart, it won’t be so bad.

 

Once they are done, Soonyoung calls a cab and Seokmin walks him to the door, musing for the second time that night that it feels strangely date-like.

 

“Thank you for taking me in, I had a lot of fun,” Soonyoung smiles warmly as they stand in the doorway.

 

“No problem, we did too - we should do this more often. Maybe with Wonwoo too,” Seokmin replies, stopping himself from making a joke about double dates that would only serve to mess up his own heart even more.

 

“I’d like that,” Soonyoung grins and pulls Seokmin into a hug, which was a terrible idea as now Seokmin can feel the softness of Soonyoung’s hair and the warmth of Soonyoung’s arms around him and Seokim hates himself a little bit more for trying to commit the sensation to memory. Soonyoung releases him and Seokmin watches him go, wondering how long he can keep this up before he crumbles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've had a little trouble uploading this one, but here it is (in full, now)! any criticism at all is welcome :) 
> 
> thank you to everyone who's read this it means a lot to me <3  
> thanks, again, to jess for being an amazing beta and putting up with my nonsense  
> i'm trying to update on tuesdays but school is a thing so forgive me if im a little late now and again  
> my tumblr is antchurch for any who want to know :)


	3. Tiramisu

‘I can do this, I can do this, I can do this,’ is the mantra Seokmin thinks to himself as he stands outside the leisure centre. It’s unassumingly leisure centre-shaped and there’s a stuttering flow of children, pensioners and university students drifting in and out of it, and Seokmin has never been more scared in his entire life.

 

‘I can’t do this,’ he thinks, as he checks the address Wonwoo sent him on his phone for the third time in a minute. Seokmin has his gym bag slung over his shoulder and grasps the strap tightly. He’s not really a gym person - the unnecessary pressure of having people judge you while you attempt to keep fit is not something Seokmin needs in his life. Instead, he chooses to constrict his panel of judges to the strangers he sees in the park (because he can rationalise with himself that these strangers will forget about his existence, but cannot do the same to those in the gym) on his morning runs with Mingyu. So, no, Seokmin does not want to be here. He’d rather be anywhere else at all, actually. For a blissful minute, he almost forgets why he is there, his nerves shaking the memory out of him. But then he remembers and-

 

Seokmin is going to kill Wonwoo. It’s not what he’s here to do, but Seokmin is going to fight him. And Mingyu. In fact he’ll fight Mingyu first, roommate loyalty be damned, and then Wonwoo. Technically, Mingyu has done less wrong, he’s really only an accomplice - but if Seokmin was only to fight Wonwoo, Mingyu would come to Wonwoo’s rescue, and Seokmin would have to fight and lose to both Wonwoo and Mingyu. Perhaps he’ll avoid the fight.

 

But it’s still Wonwoo’s fault that he’s here, rather than curled up on the sofa with a drama re-run on the TV and a bowl of ice cream in his hands as he ignores his coursework - which is incidentally what Mingyu and Wonwoo are probably doing right now. Because apparently Wonwoo is ill.

 

It was a mystery illness that had sprung up overnight, Wonwoo had told Seokmin. The same Wonwoo who had been watching shitty American films with Mingyu and improvising their own dialogue until at least 1 in the morning, was now ill, too ill to get out of bed, with a terrible cough that sounded so ludicrously fake, that Seokmin was slightly offended Wonwoo would think he’d be fooled by it.

 

“I’m sick,” Wonwoo had wheezed over the phone, “I don’t think I can make it to the gym, I’m sorry.”

 

“Boo, you whore,” Seokmin had replied, half in jest, drawing the attention of many passers by in the street. He wasn’t really mad then, just a little miffed. But then he realised, perhaps Mingyu and Wonwoo had finally gotten it together and, well, gotten together, but hadn’t wanted to tell Seokmin just yet. Seokmin’s amused intrigue quickly disappeared when he had felt a buzz in his pocket after the phone call and read Wonwoo’s text.

 

_(08:31) I’ve texted Soonyoung and after he’s finished teaching the kids dance class, he’ll go to the gym with you_

Seokmin should have known better. They gym was much too far away to be Wonwoo’s local gym, but within walking distance of the cafe - that should have given him a clue. As should have Mingyu telling him Seungkwan had agreed to take Seokmin’s morning shift today with Jeonghan, and Seokmin could do Seungkwan’s afternoon shift. Seungkwan never gives up the chance to have an afternoon shift, especially with the Saturday morning rush. Never.

 

The fact that Seungkwan, Mingyu and Wonwoo have been plotting behind his back makes Seokmin slightly uneasy - they’re bad enough on their own. It’s been a week since Seokmin gave Soonyoung his number, and later invited Soonyoung round for dinner. Over that time Soonyoung and Seokmin have barely stopped texting, which is something Seungkwan picked up on quickly, much to Seokmin’s chagrin. Every time Seokmin even looks at his phone or looks up too quickly when he hears the bell ring, he gets a knowing smirk from Seungkwan and a not so subtle remark about his ‘boyfriend’ causing him to blush.

 

“He’s not my boyfriend, we’re just friends, Seungkwan,” was Seokmin’s reply and each time he repeated it, it did nothing to hide the tinge of sadness that accompanied it. Occasionally, Seungkwan would give him a concerned look, that Seokmin would shake his head at and grin. So what if being Soonyoung’s friend and talking to him all day long was more painful than being Soonyoung’s waiter and admiring him from afar - Seokmin has survived thus far.

 

Though when Soonyoung comes in every morning during the week and gives him a blinding smile before launching into a conversation about anything and everything, like they’ve known each other forever, Seokmin does have to question whether he can carry on surviving.

 

And Wonwoo is not helping.

 

Seokmin doesn’t know what possessed any of them to think that having Soonyoung as witness to Seokmin’s awkwardness in the gym was a good idea. With Wonwoo, he was planning on bullying the other into confessing to Mingyu, so his roommate might finally stop playing angsty love songs at 3 in the morning when Seokmin is trying to get some sleep before he has to get up for his shift at the cafe. With Wonwoo, he had a plan. With Soonyoung getting hot and sweaty as they work out, and grinning at him all the time, Seokmin knows he has nothing, no form of defense at all.

 

He’s trapped. Seokmin can’t leave without being an awful friend who ditches Soonyoung after Soonyoung takes time out of his day to go to the gym with him, but if Seokmin does go with Soonyoung to the gym, he’ll either die of spontaneous combustion or a heart attack or something or do something he knows he will regret and ruin his friendship with Soonyoung forever. He doesn’t like the sound of either of those outcomes.

 

Which is why Seokmin is stuck hovering outside the leisure centre, unsure as to whether he should go in and cement his presence there or just run as far as he can in the opposite direction, change his name, and never speak to Soonyoung again. The choice should be more obvious than it is and Seokmin hates himself and his stupid brain for having a crush on his friend that is obstinately not going away.

 

He considers texting Soonyoung, following in Wonwoo’s footsteps and claiming illness - but he really doesn’t want to lie to Soonyoung and every one of their mutual friends who could cover for them is currently plotting against him. He could meet Soonyoung and then say he thinks he left the oven on, only its such a cliche excuse Soonyoung would see right through him. Seokmin is mentally debating whether or not he could say he urgently needs to go back home to his family without causing suspicion when he feels a tap on his shoulder.

 

“Hey, are you lost? Do you need help?” asks the stranger with a smile. He’s small, but looks like he’s probably still growing as his whole face just looks _young_ , and he’s dressed in loose gym clothes, with a cap almost identical to Soonyoung’s, but instead of ‘Hoshi’ it has ‘Dino’ emblazoned on it.

 

“Ah, no, thank you - I’m not lost just having a bit of a crisis, sorry. Are you lost?” Seokmin wants to punch himself in the face.

 

“Seeing as I come here every day at least once, nah, I’m not,” the stranger - ‘Dino’ - smiles, and Seokmin doesn’t know how to feel about this child, who looks younger than Seungkwan, sassing him. “Hey, even if you’re just having a crisis, you might want to come inside - it’s going to rain soon.” Seokmin looks up and true to Dino’s word, the sky looks a volatile grey.

 

“Okay, yeah,” it seems Seokmin’s decision is no longer in his hands. Well, if he does ruin his own life, he can always blame it on the clouds.

 

“Cool, let’s go Seokmin-ssi,” Dino’s eyes go wide, and he scurries back into the building before Seokmin can ask how he knows his name. Seokmin is sure he’s never met Dino before, and unlike Dino he’s not wearing any helpful name tags. Perhaps Dino has seen him at one of his choir performances? But those are held in the university auditorium and Dino is definitely not in university.

 

But Seokmin follows him into the leisure centre and sees Dino standing with another in one of the red caps that Soonyoung and Dino wear, looking like he’s being consoled. Seokmin stands in the doorway, unsure as to whether he should go to them, but the other stranger waves to him and Seokmin goes to them. He really needs to find out how so many strangers seem to know who he is.

 

“Hey, I’m Minghao,” says the guy with ‘The8’ written across his cap with a slight smile, “Chan and I are on Soonyoung’s dance crew.” Dino - or Chan - lets out a whine of discomfort which Minghao silences with a look. “Soonyoung sent us to bring you down to the studio as he didn’t want to make you hang around while you waited for him to finish practicing,” Seokmin can read nothing in Minghao’s look and feels doubly bad for wanting to leave Soonyoung in the dust when Soonyoung is so considerate and kind towards him.

 

“Ah, cool, thanks,” is all he can say and when Minghao looks at him he can feel his cheeks heating up out of embarrassment - like he’s done something wrong - but he’s not sure why. “I like your caps by the way.” Chan grins.

 

“Thanks! It was my idea - I thought we should have matching jumpers or something, but Jun-hyung said it would be really cheesy and super expensive, but before the Summer competition, Hoshi-hyung bought us all hats!” Chan is practically bouncing along as he speaks and Seokmin grins at his enthusiasm, Minghao quietly smiling. He can easily see how Soonyoung could fit in with these guys, with the confidence and patience to support each one, while emphasizing the happy, bright mood that seems to surround them.

 

“Well they look great, and quite subtle, too,” Dino beams at Seokmin’s comment.

 

“As subtle as bright red can get, I suppose,” smiles Minghao, and he pushes open the door to the studio.  It’s been awhile since Seokmin has been in anything resembling a dance studio - not since high school - and it’s almost surreal to be back. There’s a guy across the room fiddling with the sound system, and his face brightens when he catches sight of the group entering the room. He jogs lightly over to meet them - his red cap forsaken, which Dino quickly notices.

 

“Hyung,” he whines, “We’re all supposed to wear the hats at once. Otherwise, it doesn’t look like we’re a team.”

 

“Sorry,” the other guy shrugs, “my head was getting warm.” He turns to Seokmin, a ridiculously pretty smile in place, “hey, you must be Seokmin - Soonyoungie has told us a lot about you. I’m Junhui.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Seokmin blushes as he shakes Junhui’s hand, mind racing as he wonders what Soonyoung had said about him. Probably just that they had become friends, Seokmin tells himself firmly. As Soonyoung and Seokmin have been talking more and more, Seokmin has been considering the reasons he needs his crush on Soonyoung to go away - and they’re the same reasons he likes Soonyoung so much.

 

He likes how Soonyoung can make him laugh so easily, and he likes how quickly they’ve got to know one another, and he likes how everything feels natural between them. Seokmin doesn’t want to lose that. If Soonyoung rejected him - or even if Soonyoung had a momentary lapse in sanity and they dated, only to break up, Seokmin would miss him too much. Soonyoung feels like a pillar of his life already, and they’ve only really just met. In the interest of holding onto that, Seokmin want to keep it platonic. Friendship is safer, and Seokmin is okay with that.

 

But when Soonyoung walks through the door with his very thin vest top very transparent and his sweatpants slung very low across his hips with his hair pushed back by that goddamn cap, Seokmin knows that it’s going to be a struggle. Seungkwan calls it masochism (or at least Vernon does, and then Seungkwan repeats it), but Seokmin just likes to call it taking what he can get.

 

“Hey Seokmin!” Soonyoung near shouts, rushing towards Seokmin before enveloping him in a slightly sweaty hug. With an untameable grin, he hugs Soonyoung back and he can feel himself flushing. It’s easy to read too much into everything Soonyoung does - he’s so affectionate and kind that Seokmin could almost trick himself into thinking that Soonyoung feels the same way he does.

 

“Hi Soonyoung,” Seokmin can’t hide the affection in his voice as he smiles down at Soonyoung. They break apart, and Soonyoung lifts up his hat to run his fingers through his hair. Seokmin swallows hard.

 

“I hope you’re okay with waiting for me to finish here, I just didn’t want you to think I was trying to get rid of you or something - and I hope they weren’t too much bec-”

 

“Soonyoung,” Seokmin interrupts Soonyoung’s rapid flow of words, “It’s fine, I don’t mind waiting at all - it was really good of you to offer to come with me. And they all seem really nice.” Seokmin glances to where Junhui is bickering with Chan as they both attempt to dance each other off a chair, while Minghao seems to be practicing some form of intimidatingly dangerous-looking martial art in the mirror, his reflection staring at Seokmin. Fear flickers through him.

 

But Soonyoung seem placated and takes Seokmin’s hand, squeezing it tightly, before walking over to the sound system, a thank you written in his eyes. At the fleeting touch, Seokmin feels weak, and as he makes his way over to the side of the room to sit, he prays silently that his legs won’t become too shaky to walk on.

 

“Okay, let’s go again guys, break’s over,” Soonyoung calls from his station near the sound equipment. After one last sip from their water bottles, the others come into what Seokmin supposes are their positions in the middle of the room as the music starts.

 

The beat is heavy yet playful, and Seokmin can only recognize it as some western pop song he’s heard once or twice while shopping. Yet as the four of them begin to dance, the song has a new lease of life and a part of Seokmin just wants to get up and _move._ There’s a stronger part, though, that hold him back, and while each member of Soonyoung’s crew is impressive, Seokmin’s eyes are continually dragged back to Soonyoung.

 

It must be that the universe is out to get him, Seokmin thinks, when Soonyoung catches his eye through the mirror just as he begins some offensively intense body rolls. Soonyoung isn’t content with finishing Seokmin’s torture just then, it seems, as before Seokmin  can quickly look away so Seokmin doesn’t see the blush creeping up his neck and cheeks, Soonyoung throws him a wink, tongue flicking out over his lips as he thrusts his hips in a completely unnecessarily lascivious way. Just when Seokmin thinks he cannot possibly survive this and that he’s going to die right there in the dance studio, they all stop dancing.

 

“Nice, yeah, I think that works,” says Soonyoung over the music as he high fives Minghao.

 

“Yeah, I agree, but I think we need to get the footwork sharper still.”

 

“I second that,” Junhui says, coming up to Minghao and throwing his arm around his shoulders, which Minghao doesn’t shrug off or lean into. Instead he rolls his eyes, but the blush on his cheek give him away. Seokmin’s eyes narrow, and files that away to examine further later.

 

“Hey, Seokmin-hyung,” Seokmin nearly jumps out of his skin - he had been so focused on Junhui and Minghao he hadn’t noticed Dino sitting down next to him, only alerted to his presence by a loud voice in his ear.

 

“Hi Chan, that was really great,” Seokmin replies once he’s recalled his soul back into his body. Chan grins at the compliment.

 

“Thanks, hyung. I’m really pleased with it too. I can’t practice as much as I’d like with the others because we all have different schedules but we’re getting there,” the words tumble out of Chan so fast that Seokmin can’t tell if he’s just still out of breath from the dancing, or speaking as well.

 

“I can’t imagine how amazing you guys would be if you had even more practice, your choreography is amazing!” Seokmin isn’t lying. There’s clearly a lot of styles and influences all mixed together in the routine - his dance theory teacher in high school would have had a field day -  but it all blends seamlessly; as so the four dancers. They work solidly as a unit, while each still has their moment and the bond between them is tangible.

 

“Thanks,” Chan grins, taking a large gulp from his water bottle, “we all work on it together. We find it works better that way, when everyone can their input.”

 

“Hey, Chan, we’re going to run it a couple more times okay?” Minghao calls across the room, Soonyoung and Junhui already in position. Chan flashes Seokmin an apologetic smile and races across to join them. The routine begins again, and this time Seokmin takes care to focus on everything that isn’t Soonyoung and the beads of sweat running down his inconsiderately sharp jawline and onto his neck, or the way his shirt rides up occasionally, giving Seokmin a glimpse of his incredibly toned stomach, or the frankly evil body rolls that Soonyoung likes to pair with a wolfish glint in his eye and -

 

And, again, Seokmin feels like a shitty friend.

 

There must be a rule book somewhere that details why it’s a horrible idea to have crushes on friends - especially new friends who have declared their interest as friendly, and continue to only be friendly - nothing more, nothing less. Seokmin is sure the author is probably ready to beat him over the head with it and, he doesn’t blame them.

 

Seokmin watches and notices how Junhui seems to make even the most complicated of moves look effortless. He notices how Minghao’s soft, unconscious, gentle smile hides a layer of furious intensity in every move he makes. He notices Chan’s raw enthusiasm and how it never dulls his precision, but rather enhances it. He fails to notice the silent conversation happening between Minghao and Jun, and the way Chan gives Soonyoung a pointed look every time his eyes drift to where Seokmin is sitting at the side.

 

The routine finishes again, and they barely take a breath before Chan runs over to restart the music and go again. Seokmin does not allow him to think about how amazing Soonyoung’s stamina probably is. Or at least he tries.

 

When they’ve finished for the last time, silence humming in the air, they all share a look, before collapsing dramatically floor. Seokmin’s fond smile goes unnoticed as he takes it upon himself to collect up and distribute the water bottles.

 

“You are a god,” Soonyoung says before drinking greedily from his bottle, sending a blush up Seokmin’s cheeks as he pointedly ignores the movement of Soonyoung’s adam’s apple as he swallows.

 

“I second the fuck out of that,” Junhui calls, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand as he gets to his feet, pulling Minghao up with him. “Come on guys, our time’s nearly up. We need to hurry or the cafe will be packed.” At this Chan just groans, and rolls over to where a collection of bags lie on the floor. Seokmin offers his hand to Soonyoung, which they other takes with a smile.

 

“You know, we really don’t have to go to the gym - I don’t mind at all. You look far to exhausted to do anything,” Seokmin smiles as he pulls Soonyoung to his feet.

 

“Are you sure?” Soonyoung frowns, “I’m sure I’ll be ready to go if you just -” he takes a breath and closes his eyes, “just wait a little.”

 

“Soonyoung,” Seokmin’s concern is displayed evenly in his voice and his eyes, which Soonyoung does not meet, “let’s just go to the cafe. I don’t need you getting hurt, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Don’t make another fucking John Green reference, I swear to _God_ , Soonyoung.” Instead of replying Soonyoung just grins and walks across to where Minghao is gently kicking a whining Chan in the ribs. Seokmin doesn’t know if Soonyoung has noticed that their hands are still entwined. He doesn’t know whether he hopes Soonyoung has or not.

 

Minghao takes one look at Soonyoung and Seokmin’s joined hands as they leave the leisure centre and rolls his eyes, clearly not seeing the hypocrisy with his own hand clasped in Junhui’s. There’s a steady thrum of chatter as they walk to the cafe, but Soonyoung is uncharacteristically quiet, Seokmin notices. He squeezes Soonyoung’s hand to get his attention, giving him a quizzical look. Soonyoung simply shakes his head, offering a slight smile and bumping his shoulder into Seokmin’s.

 

Like Junhui predicted, when they arrive at the cafe, it’s packed. The queue is relatively short, however, and Seokmin can see Seungkwan and Jeonghan behind the counter. Seungkwan looks ready to drop, yawning every ten seconds. Seokmin would feel bad for him, but he remembers how Seungkwan colluded in the attempt to assassinate Seokmin - because really, what else could trying to make Seokmin exercise in the company of a hot, sweaty Soonyoung be anything but that - and he suddenly feels a lot better about it. It’s not entirely difficult for Seungkwan though, Seokmin observes. Hansol is there with him, pelting him with questions after each yawn, a worried expression on his face after being repeatedly waved away by Seungkwan who, if it were anyone else but Hansol, would be eating up the attention.

 

All too soon, Seokmin is standing with Soonyoung and his dance crew in front of a smirking Jeonghan. Seokmin follows his gaze to where Soonyoung and his hands are still intertwined, causing Seokmin to drop his eyes as he anticipates Jeonghan’s knowing wink. Jeonghan tosses his pony tail over his shoulder, probably driving at least a third of the cafe into cardiac arrest, and positions his pencil ready to write.

 

“Hey guys, what can I get you?”

 

“Lemonade and a white chocolate cookie, please.”

 

“A blueberry muffin and a cappuccino, thanks.”

 

“A gingerbread man-”

 

“A gingerbread man? What are you, five?” Minghao snorts at Junhui, who shrugs and continues.

 

“A gingerbread man and some tea, please.”

 

“Tiramisu-” Seokmin and Soonyoung both start. They turn look at each other, and blush.

 

“You first,” Soonyoung smiles. Seokmin squeezes his hand in reply.

 

“Okay, uh, could I have the tiramisu and a vanilla milkshake, please.”

 

“And could I have the same, actually.” At this, Jeonghan smirks.

 

“I can do you two a couple’s serving to share if you like.”

 

“J-just normal is okay,” coughs out Seokmin, resolutely looking anywhere but Soonyoung.

 

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Jeonghan’s smile is positively evil, “would you like to split the bill?”

 

“Yes, please,” pipes Chan. As each of them pays, Seokmin can see Seungkwan getting closer out of the corner of his eye.

 

“I am so tired,” Seungkwan hisses, “Mr. 10:10 better be fucking worth it.”

 

“It’s your fault for conspiring,” Seokmin fires back, “and you should just let Hansol take care of you. He obviously wants to.” This makes Seungkwan blush, and he bustles away, back to where Hansol is trying to get him to sit down. Seokmin watches him go, shaking his head.

 

“Hey, we’re going to grab a table, come on,” Soonyoung gently tugs on Seokmin’s hand and the group find themselves at a table recently vacated by a family of five.

 

“Chan, you can take the high-chair,” Junhui smirks, and begins to bicker with Chan, while Minghao simply sighs.

 

“Hey, I’m just going to head to the toilet, I’ll be right back,” Seokmin mutters to Soonyoung before they sit.

 

“Okay, cool,” Soonyoung smiles and Seokmin definitely needs to escape now, he’s had far too much to deal with this morning.

 

In the bathroom he just stands looking in the mirror, thinking of nothing, trying to give him brain a rest. But everything seems to remind him of Soonyoung, from the clock, to the mirror, to the curtains - nothing is safe, it seems. He closes his eyes. Splashing water on his face, he shakes himself. So far, he has survived. He can survive a little longer. It’s going to be okay.

 

When he gets back to the table, Seokmin realises how wrong he was. It’s not going to okay. It’s never going to be okay. Because Soonyoung is just saying goodbye to one of his students who can’t be older than three and it’s possible the most adorable thing in the universe. And there’s a shareable serving of tiramisu on the table.

 

“Oh yeah, there was a little confusion in the kitchen,” says Junhui when he sees what Seokmin is looking at, “Soonyoung said it was okay and you wouldn’t mind.” Of course Soonyoung did, because Soonyoung is possibly the most tolerant person on the planet.

 

“Oh, sure, I don’t mind,” Seokmin says as he takes a seat.

 

“Hey Seokmin,” Soonyoung grins, fork in hand, a he taps Seokmin on the shoulder, “here comes the aeroplane.” Seokmin is going to die. His cause of death will be an edible airstrike. Or possibly a heart attack - the amount of blood in his cheeks is probably leaving very little for his organs to function on.

  
But Seokmin opens his mouth, even though he can feel, Jeonghan, Seunkwan, and Minghao’s eyes on him. He opens his mouth and avoids Soonyoung’s gaze as he eats. Whenever Seokmin thinks he can live like this, Soonyoung turns up wanting him dead and trying to kill him somehow. It’s almost tiring, having to manage his crush on Soonyoung and he hates it a little bit. But he doesn’t hate Soonyoung. He doesn’t want to put a word to how much he doesn’t hate Soonyoung at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here it is! sorry for the delay - school is in fact a bitch
> 
> thank you to jess for being my wonderful beta all that stuff, and thank you to everyone who's read it and especially to those who leave comments!! that means a lot to me :)
> 
> please if you have any form of criticism or anything let me know


	4. Popcorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seokmin - Normal  
> Mingyu - Underlined

Soonyoung, Chan, Minghao, and Junhui have only just left the cafe before Seokmin pulls out his phone, vengeance at the forefront of his mind and on the tips of his fingers.

 

(11:47) flat meeting. Stat.

 

(12:01) Sorry hyung, I had my phone off, we were watching a film - Wonu really likes Footloose!

(12:01) Wait, are you mad at me? We never have flat meetings - there’s just two of us

 

(12:01) i’m not mad. just disappointed

 

(12:02) Okay, I kinda walked into that

(12:02) But seriously, are you mad??

 

Seokmin is mad, actually. Or rather, he’d like to be mad. Except Mingyu makes it really hard for Seokmin to be annoyed with him, because he’s Mingyu and being angry with him is like being angry with a puppy.

 

(12:02) im annoyed that there has been some plotting

 

(12:02) colluding. cahooting, if you will

 

(12:03) ??????

(12:03) I’m going to ask Wonu what you mean

 

Seokmin is going to hold onto his frustration, damn it.

 

(12:04) ohhhhhhh

(12:04) We weren’t plotting, I promise.

 

(12:04) sure, jan.

 

(12:05) Well, maybe a little - but we had your interests at heart

(12:05) I’m sorry hyung, I really am. We didn’t want to upset you

 

(12:05) you didn’t upset me, more scare the life out of me

 

(12:05) im dead now, thanks

 

(12:06) Did you guys end up kissing though?

 

(12:06) MINGYU

 

(12:06) NO

 

(12:06) WTF THE FUCK???

 

(12:07) Hey, watch your language

 

(12:07) sorry, mum

 

(12:07) but seriously mingyu

 

(12:08) soonyoung and i are just friends and you guys need to stop

 

(12:08) Okay, we’ll stop

 

(12:08) thank you

 

(12:09) Hey, how about when your shift is over this afternoon, you come round to Wonwoo’s and I can cook and we can watch a film (invalid’s choice I’m afraid) and we’ll just have fun?

Seokmin’s spidey sense is tingling. He’s not sure why - it’s perfectly reasonably that Mingyu would come up with something like this to try and make sure everyone was happy. But something makes him suspicious, although he can’t put his finger on it.

 

He is probably going to regret this.

 

(12:09) sure, i’ll head round when my shift is done

 

(12:09) Cool! I’ll let Wonwoo know - we’re super sorry hyung

 

(12:09) i know - and im /considering/ forgiving you

 

Seokmin can almost see Mingyu’s optimistic grin, but that just might be the sun shining through the windows.

 

(12:10) Thanks hyung!!

 

He’s glad he got Mingyu to stop using the terrible ‘xD’ emoticon when he did.

 

Before he slips his phone back into his pocket, he checks the time - 12:10. Twenty minutes until his shift begins. It’s not enough time to get home and do some work, or get any of his errands done, like grocery shopping, or taking the laundry to the laundromat. But it is enough time to interrogate Seungkwan as to why he gave up his evening shift, before Seungkwan falls over from exhaustion.

 

“I’ve been trying to work it out,” Seokmin says, as he walks up to the counter, “but I’d rather you tell me. What on earth could Mingyu have said to get you to work his morning shift?” Seungkwan just groans into the table. Hansol sits opposite him, hand inches from Seungkwan’s head and Seokmin can tell he wants to run his fingers through Seungkwan’s hair, but doesn’t know if he’s allowed. Rolling his eyes, Seokmin picks up Hansol’s hand, ignoring the wild fear in his victim’s eyes, and places it on top of Seungkwan’s head. Before Hansol can drag his embarrassed hand back, Seungkwan lets out a little contented noise. Hansol flushes, but his hand stays, and Seokmin considers that a victory.

 

“Not ready for the early Saturday shift?” Seokmin smirks, “well, maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to take an active part in ruining my life.” At this Seungkwan snorts.

 

“Ruining your life? Bitch, I’m doing you a favour.”

 

“A favour? In the form of trying to put me in close contact with Soonyoung while he’s all, y’know..” Seokmin trails off, blushing, as Seungkwan lifts his head off the counter to give him a derisive raise of his eyebrow.

 

“I know what? Hot and sweaty and irresistible? Did you guys make out?” Seokmin blushes, and tries to shake his head, but Seungkwan doesn’t notice. “You did! Oh my gosh, just wait until I tell Mingyu and Wonwoo and everyone else!”

 

“We didn’t kiss!” Seokmin says, and he doesn’t know whether if the cafe has just become very quiet or he’s speaking too loud but he’s aware everyone in the cafe has their eyes on him. “We didn’t,” he says firmly and quietly, a blush cast over his cheeks, “And I’d like an apology for trying to make it happen. Soonyoung and I are just friends.”

 

“Last time I checked ‘just friends’ didn’t get all hot and bothered over the thought of seeing one another hot and sweaty. And if anything you need to apologise to me! I got up on a Saturday before 10 am for you, and you didn’t even kiss him!” Seungkwan shakes his head, “disappointing. I expected better.”

 

“Shut up,” Seokmin pouts as he slips behind the counter. He really doesn’t need this - he thinks about kissing Soonyoung far too often as it is, and Seungkwan is only adding to that.

 

But Seungkwan does shut up, and instead gives Seokmin a look every so often. The twinkle in his eyes is mirthful but soft, as underneath all his sass and wit, Seokmin knows Seungkwan cares about him. In a way it’s sort of sweet how his friends are so invested in his happiness - it would be sweeter if they respected his decision to try and maintain a friendship with Soonyoung instead of pursuing a relationship.

It’s been awhile since Seokmin’s had a serious boyfriend - he’s gone along with Mingyu, Jeonghan, and Seungkwan’s various blind date setups but nothing’s ever come of it. But he’s not lonely. If anything he’s just more wary. Seokmin’s last boyfriend had been his best friend since the age of 15, until after four years of knowing one another and a year and half of being in a relationship, he decided they had ruined their friendship by taking things further and left Seokmin in the dust. It’s a mistake he isn’t eager to repeat.

 

His shift ends far too soon, and after saying goodbye to Jeonghan at 4:30, he begins the trek to Wonwoo and Soonyoung’s. Seokmin knows he could take the bus, but he’s a broke college student and he’d rather take the free exercise than the bus fee. Plus, the walk gives him time to think about how he’s going to act around his Judas. Well, there’s both Wonwoo and Mingyu, so it’s more like Judases. Judai.

 

Seokmin isn’t a religious studies student for a reason, okay.

 

Kicking idly at a loose rock on the pavement, Seokmin allows himself to wonder if Soonyoung would be at home by the time he gets there. He’s been over to Wonwoo’s with Mingyu a bunch of times, and seen evidence of a roommate, but there was never a chance to ask Wonwoo about it, because as soon as Mingyu and Wonwoo were in the same room, it was like everyone else in the world didn’t exist. It would be adorable, if Seokmin hadn’t had to put up with several long evenings of being an almost invisible third wheel.

 

There’s a sudden gust of wind and, as cool air rushes up his legs, Seokmin becomes very aware of the white t-shirt and basketball shorts he’s wearing. While he’s never really minded too much about what he wears (not as much as Seungkwan anyway), he can’t help but feel a little flushed and self conscious, an irrational part of him paranoid about what Soonyoung thinks of him. If he runs all the way home, he probably has enough time to change into something that’s more weather appropriate and comfortable for watching films with Mingyu and Wonwoo  and smells less of coffee (and, says a voice in his head that sounds like Seungkwan, looking hot as fuck for Soonyoung).

 

The decision is pretty simple in the end. He never did get to go to the gym today, so this run can substitute that, he thinks as he turns on his tail and sprints home. When he gets there, he wastes about a minute standing in front of the mirror wondering whether or not he should take a shower, before ultimately accepting that he has nothing to lose and may as well.

 

After a short shower on the cooler side (he could never stand cold showers, but he’s starting to feel a strange haze over reality, a mix between the irrationally wild happiness he feels when he’s around Soonyoung, and the kind that coats weekend afternoons, and he wants to stay awake and alert, just in case Soonyoung turns up and catches him unaware), he pulls on a soft jumper over one of his favourite t-shirts and some jeans that when he wore them to work once, Seungkwan and Jeonghan both made comments about his ass.

 

He searches around for his contact lenses, and when his finds them in a bathroom drawer his victory is short lived as he realises he’s run out of his monthly supply and hasn’t managed to pick up any more. Seokmin sighs, sliding onto the floor in a motion Seungkwan would describe as being straight out of a western rom-com. But Seokmin isn’t crying, and Seokmin hasn’t been left by his fiance or ruined his own life by falling in love with a vampire. No, it’s just everyone else around him that’s trying to ruin his life. And fate apparently.

 

Because now Seokmin has to wear his glasses.

 

Seokmin actually likes his glasses. They help him see and he picked out the frames so he doesn’t hate them. He doesn’t mind wearing them at all. But when he’s trying (against his better judgement) to seduce (he hears the word in his head as said by Seungkwan) someone (only a little bit), they aren’t his first choice. Seokmin’s last boyfriend had told him he could never get used to Seokmin’s glasses, as they had met just after Seokmin had started wearing contact lenses, and therefore he rarely wore them. Since then, he’s only ever wore his contact lenses on dates and at work, self conscious of the way his glasses make him look.

 

But, Seokmin thinks as he stands up and goes to his bedside table to find his glasses, Soonyoung probably won’t give a shit about Seokmin’s glasses or his clothes any more than he’d care if Mingyu had glasses. Soonyoung only sees him a friend, which right now is both a blessing and a curse. Sliding his glasses onto his face, Seokmin feels his pocket buzz.Repeatedly.

 

(16:45) Hey Seokmin-hyung, I hope you don’t mind but Soonyoung’s here and he’s going to join us!

 

And the other shoe drops like a fucking brick.

 

(16:46) It can be like a double date~~

(16:46) Sorry hyung, I know it’s a bit too soon

 

(16:46) mingyu its chill, i’m on my way now, i just stopped by our place to change

 

(16:47) and im ignoring those comments

 

(16:47) :D

 

Sighing, Seokmin puts his phone back in his pocket and shrugs on his coat. He’s had a feeling today fate was out for blood, so he’s not surprised Soonyoung’s going to be there. At least Seokmin will have someone to talk to when Mingyu and Wonwoo disappear off into a world that is entirely composed of only them, Seokmin thinks as he searches for silver linings in the gathering clouds that are beginning to appear more frequently now that summer is over.

 

The wind whips around Seokmin’s neck as he locks the door behind him, shoving his hand into his pocket. Knowing Seokmin’s luck there will probably be a storm soon. He only hopes it hits after he gets to Wonwoo and Soonyoung’s and pulls his coat around him tighter.

 

Seokmin feels the first raindrops on his forehead when he passes a park, the halfway marker to Wonwoo and Soonyoung’s apartment. He’s just past the take-away pizza place three blocks away from there before he hears the first clap of thunder. By the time he arrives at Wonwoo’s and Soonyoung’s, thoroughly sudden and far too tired, he’s been splashed by four passing cars driving through puddles, slipped over twice, and can barely see thanks the to impromptu Jackson Pollack piece in the medium of raindrops and steam that’s formed on his glasses.

 

Leaning heavily on the door, he blesses the architect that decided to put a porch on the building. Seokmin has no energy to raise his hand to knock weakly, so instead he slips his hand into his pocket and fumbles with his phone.

 

(17: 28) im here outside

 

Relief floods through his body when he reads the ‘read 17:28’ notification and a second later hears a stampede of footsteps on the stairs behind the door. As the door opens he takes a step back and closes his eyes.

 

“Hey Mingyu, sorry I’m late - even though we didn’t really set a time, I feel late. Is that a thing? I don’t th-”

 

“Seokmin. Just come in.” Seokmin opens his eyes. It’s not Mingyu - it’s Soonyoung. Seokmin was hoping to find at least a slightly reflective surface to sort himself out, but apparently today Seokmin’s luck is entirely non-existent. As if in a trance Seokmin walks closer to Soonyoung, who’s smiling a smile that makes Seokmin think that perhaps his luck isn’t gone, just concentrated in one place - getting to see Soonyoung’s smile as often as he does.

 

Soonyoung hadn’t been expecting the speed of Seokmin’s entrance from the cold, by the looks of things, as now they are standing (in Seokmin’s opinion) entirely too close. Seokmin can see a soft, warm blush on Soonyoung’s cheeks, probably a result of the heat of the apartment, and Seokmin feels entirely too hot under his collar. The black t-shirt Soonyoung is wearing looks soft and worn and shows far more definition of Soonyoung’s chest than Seokmin is comfortable with. Seokmin feels like a broken record when he wonders whether he will survive the night or not.

 

“Jesus christ, look at you, you’re soaked through! Don’t tell me you walked here in this rain,” Soonyoung says and the concern in his voice is far too adorable. In reply, Seokmin gives a small grin and a shrug.

 

“What can I say, I’m a starving, incredibly cheap artist who would rather catch pneumonia than take a bus.”

 

“You’re not an artist, you’re an architect.”

 

“Who says architecture isn’t art?”

 

“Your mum.” Against his better judgement, Seokmin laughs.

 

“Wow, mature.”

 

“Don’t forget original too.”

 

“Of course, of course. I’m sure you’re the first person to ever make a joke like that.”

 

“I’m just a sheer genius like that,” Soonyoung grins, stopping Seokmin’s heart in it’s tracks when he takes Seokmin buy the hand and pulls him towards the staircase, “come on, they’re waiting upstairs to us and we need to pick a film for us to watch while Mingyu and Wonwoo gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes.” Seokmin follows with no resistance, a little overstimulated by the warmth and the light and Soonyoung. He feels like an idiot, unable to formulate any thoughts of a conversation, but there isn’t any pressure in the air to do so. Just like every other time with Soonyoung, the silence is comfortable.

 

When they reach the door to the apartment, the door is still hanging slightly open, Soonyoung just gives it a slight push and they go in. It’s not the first time Seokmin’s been in the apartment, but now that he knows it’s Soonyoung’s and well as Wonwoo’s he views it with fresh interest. He almost feels nervous, and internally begs his palms to not get sweaty. But when he spies the familiar scene of Mingyu and Wonwoo he can practically he pounding heartbeat slow.

 

He’s not going to be alone with Soonyoung, he’ll have Mingyu and Wonwoo. Seokmin sends a quick prayer to whoever is listening, a thank you for Mingyu and Wonwoo’s presence - he knows that if he’s left alone with Soonyoung, the chances of him doing something seriously stupid like confessing to Soonyoung or kissing him, go up by far too much, and they’re already high enough as it is.

 

“Hey hyung!” Mingyu calls, leaping up from the sofa, “you looked soaked! What happened to you? Didn’t you take a cab or something?”

 

“Nah, I walked,” Seokmin smiles bashfully, shrugging off his coat. He feels a warm pair of hands over his own and looks over his shoulder to see Soonyoung.

 

“Let me take this, you’re completely sodden - go a warm up. We can find you some fresh clothes if you need them,” Soonyoung says and Seokmin can only stare and nod. After helping him with his coat, Soonyoung dusts his hand along Seokmin’s shoulder, probably unthinkingly. He quickly retracts his hand, but Seokmin takes it in his own and smiles, but he isn’t sure why. Soonyoung smiles back though and that’s all that matters.

 

“Seokmin-hyung, come here, I need to see if these will fit you,” Mingyu calls from Wonwoo’s bedroom, and Seokmin can only shrug and follow the sound of Mingyu’s voice, releasing Soonyoung’s hand softly, unaware of Wonwoo’s carefully blank gaze.

 

“I’ve borrowed these from Wonwoo before so they should fit you,” Mingyu says, as he hands Seokmin a pair of sweatpants.

 

“When did you need to wear Wonwoo’s clothes?” Seokmin asks, causing a violent flush  that stretches across Mingyu’s cheeks and even onto the tips of his ears.

 

“Shut up,” he mumbles, “it was when we met, at that charity thing at the library I took Seojin to. A kid threw up on me, and Wonwoo said his apartment was nearby and he’d go and grab me something to wear if I covered for him.”

 

“So why are you here doing this rather than Wonwoo?”

 

“He’s ill,” Mingyu says scornfully, “even though you seem to think otherwise.” Mingy punctuates his statement with a glare, and pulls the sweatpants away from him. “Just go and dry yourself off hyung, I’ll leave some clothes outside the bathroom for you.”

 

“Thanks Mingyu, but it’s okay, I’m not too wet - you can go cuddle your sick not-boyfriend, I’ll survive.” Mingyu rolls his eyes but he can’t cover the blush that’s beginning to spread. Seokmin counts this as a win.

 

“I was going to cuddle Wonwoo anyway, thank you - but don’t lie Seokmin-hyung. We can all see you shivering. Just because you don’t want to take those jeans off because-”

 

“Wow, amazing, would you look at that - it’s time for you to shut the fuck up.”

 

“How about this - I’ll shut up if you shut up and take the damn clothes.”

 

“Fine, fine,” Seokmin laughs, “I’ll go and dry off, happy?”

 

“Very,” Mingyu says with an element of finality, as he shoves Seokmin out of the room. Still laughing, he walks to the bathroom, and attempts to peal the damp clothes off his body. With a heavy squelch the jeans fall to the floor.

 

“So much for that,” he mumbles to himself, and kicks the offending clothing away from his legs with a shade of bitterness. But perhaps it’s better this way - at the moment all he wants to do is melt into the floor; a feeling that has been increasing since he first stepped through the door and the adrenaline from the exercise began to fade away. Without the jeans, he might stand a chance of not stressing out over his every move. Yeah, right.

 

Taking a towel, he looks in the mirror and questions every life choice he has ever made that has brought him here. Seokmin is stood in his relatively dry socks and underwear - the jeans, shirt, and jumper not holding up against the rain, but he feels numb and can’t tell if it’s from the cold or the unreality of the situation. Maybe he’s just hungry.

 

Regardless of how he feels, warm, dry clothes will probably help, Seokmin muses. But then comes the issue of retrieving the clothes now that he’s half naked. Seokmin just prays that Mingyu put the clothes on the very doorstep of the bathroom. Slowly, he opens the door a crack, and searches for the clothes, finding - to his relief - the bundle on the floor just outside. God bless Kim Mingyu.

 

Seokmin dresses quickly, careful to make sure he’s not putting anything on inside out. Sliding on the sweatpants, Seokmin notices that they definitely aren’t the ones Mingyu was holding earlier; Seokmin is only a little bit taller than Wonwoo, and the sweatpants are shorter on him than they should be as they’d be short on Wonwoo. Dread fills Seokmin’s stomach and he takes back every nice word he’s ever said about Kim fucking Mingyu. The traitorous bastard has given him Soonyoung’s clothes instead of Wonwoo’s. And he probably thinks he’s fucking helping.

 

When he slips the t-shirt over his head, Seokmin is assaulted by a face full of Soonyoung’s scent. A suit made of spikes and poison and poison covered spikes would be less painful than this. As Seokmin leaves the bathroom, sodden clothes under one arm, he furiously pushes away any and all ridiculously eager domestic thoughts of Soonyoung and suppress the tingle in his spine he feels from wearing Soonyoung’s clothes.

 

In the living room, Seokmin can only find Wonwoo and Soonyoung, the former giving the latter a consoling pat on the shoulder while Soonyoung shakes his head. They sigh in unison and Seokmin lets out a light hearted laugh. As soon as he looks up to find Seokmin standing there, Soonyoung’s face brightens.

 

“Hey, are you all dry now?” he asks, standing up to take Seokmin’s wet clothes.

 

“Yeah, I’m all warm and toasty - your clothes are really comfortable,” and Seokmin needs to shut up now and never speak again. Ever.

 

“I’m glad you like them,” Soonyoung, the eternal angel, laughs, “I’ll go and put this in the laundry basket - you go and make yourself at home, Mingyu should be done with dinner soon.” And with nothing more, he leaves, taking Seokmin’s heart with him.

 

“So, what are we watching?” Seokmin asks Wonwoo as he sinks into the sofa.

 

“Kingsman, I think it’s called,” Wonwoo says, from under a mountain of blankets that almost obstruct his view of the tv, probably lovingly placed by Mingyu.

 

“Ah, yeah, Mingyu really likes that one.”

 

“I know,” Wonwoo near whispers, the words coming out before he can stop them, it seems. Seokmin grins.

 

“Is that why you picked it?” Seokmin smirks, which earns him a dark look from Wonwoo.

 

“Who says I picked it? Mingyu could have picked it.”

 

“Mingyu says you picked it - ‘invalid’s choice’  apparently. Though I bet he forced you to pick.”

 

“Doesn’t mean I picked it because of him,” Wonwoo says to the TV rather than Seokmin as he refuses to make eye contact. Seokmin can still see his flushed cheeks though.

 

“That sounds fake, but okay.”

 

“Nice meme,” is how Soonyoung announces his presence in the room and Seokmin grins.

 

“Thanks, I grew it myself.”

 

“Congratulations - you must be proud.”

 

“Thank you, I am. It’s all I have left of my poor wife who died giving birth to it.”

 

“I’m truly sorry for your loss.”

 

“Thanks, that means a lot to me.”

 

“Don’t you mean that memes a lot to you.”

 

“Jesus Christ, how the fuck is anyone supposed to cope being alone with you two,” Wonwoo sighs in exasperation, causing Soonyoung and Seokmin to laugh.

 

“What’s so funny?” Mingyu asks from the doorway, two bowls in his hands.

 

“Hell if I know,” replies Wonwoo, taking his bowl with a smile, “thanks.”

 

“No problem,” Mingyu blushes, nearly falling over as he hands Soonyoung the other bowl. Seokmin and Soonyoung share a knowing look as Mingyu rushes out.

 

“Shut the fuck up,” Wonwoo says around a mouthful of rice. Mirth in their eyes, Soonyoung and Seokmin look at one another.

 

“We didn’t say anything-”

 

“But if you want us to-

 

“We can say something-”

 

“In fact, we can say it to both of you -”

 

“MINGYU-AH,” they both shout and Wonwoo looks slightly disgusted.

 

“What is it? Is something wrong?” Mingyu frowns, poking his head into the room.

 

“Nothing’s wrong Mingyu, the food is just really great, that’s all,” Soonyoung smiles, unfettered by Wonwoo’s scowl.

 

“Oh, thank you,” says Mingyu brightly, “don’t start the film without me okay?”

 

“Don’t worry we won’t,” Wonwoo reassures him, ignoring Seokmin and Soonyoung. As soon as Mingyu leaves, smiling, Soonyoung and Seokmin receive twin slaps to the head from Wonwoo.

 

“I hate you two.”

 

“Only because you love Mingyu.” Wonwoo doesn’t dignify this with an answer and instead takes another bite of rice.

 

“Of course hyung loves me,” says Mingyu happily, as he returns with Seokmin’s plate and his own, making Wonwoo nearly choke on his rice. Mingyu turns to him, eyes full of concern, and gives Wonwoo a solid thump on the back, but Wonwoo waves him away and mimes drinking. Passing him a glass of water from the table, Mingyu starts rubbing Wonwoo’s back. With a roll of his eyes, Soonyoung presses play.

 

If anyone asked him later what was going on in the film, Seokmin doesn’t think he could tell them. He’s far too distracted by the light of the TV glinting off Soonyoung’s eyes and the way Soonyoung keeps trying and failing to throw popcorn into the air and catch it in his mouth. He gets it caught in his hair, and Seokmin leans over to remove it, but he slips and end up half-laying on Soonyoung. Cheeks flushing beet-red, he mutters an apology and attempts to move away, but Soonyoung just threads a hand through his hair.

 

“Can you see okay?” he asks in Seokmin’s ear, sending tremors through Seokmin’s body as he nods, “Coolio.” Seokmin feels like he’s floating and dying all at once.

 

Then Soonyoung starts to offer him pieces of popcorn, throwing them into Seokmin’s mouth and Seokmin can’t help but play along. They giggle quietly on the sofa, until they get shushed by Wonwoo.

 

“I swear to God, if you guys wake him up with your nonsense, I will end you,” Wonwoo hisses, motioning with his head at Mingyu’s sleeping form cuddled around him. Soonyoung laughs silently, while Seokmin apologises - profusely and silently also. “Like you two are any better,” Wonwoo mumbles and Seokmin prays that Soonyoung didn’t hear that. He redirects Soonyoung’s attention back to the film, as if he could just make Soonyoung forget it if he heard it by filling his head with explosions and suits and pretty English boys.

 

They settle into a warm silence, Wonwoo carding his fingers through Mingyu’s hair and Soonyoung rubbing soft circles into Seokmin’s side. Seokmin can feel himself on the edge of consciousness and allows himself to sink into the hypnotising rhythm from Soonyoung’s fingers, drifting into sleep.

 

Seokmin’s awoken later by someone gently shaking him. Letting out a whine, he scrunches his eyes up tight and clenches his fist in the surface underneath him. In response he receives a rumbling chuckle that he can feel throughout his whole body. Seokmin’s eyes flicker open. _Shit._

 

“Come on Seokmin, you need to get up and get into bed,” Soonyoung says, unconscious of Seokmin’s embarrassment, “I promise you, it’s a lot more comfortable than my chest.” Seokmin wants to melt into the floor, but as it’s physically impossible, he settles for the next best thing and slides off Soonyoung and onto the living room floor.

 

“Having fun down there?” Soonyoung snickers as Seokmin glares up at him playfully. It’s only then he notices the only light in the room is coming from a few candles dotted around the room, the television is off, and Mingyu and Wonwoo are gone.

 

“What’s happened? Why the candles? Where have Mingyu and Wonwoo gone?”

 

“There’s been a powercut,” Soonyoung says, offering his hand to help Seokmin up, “it happened while you and Mingyu were asleep. Wonwoo woke Mingyu and they’ve gone to Wonwoo’s room.”

 

“Tell me you told them to use protection.”

 

“Of course I did, we can’t have any Mingyu-Wonwoo babies running around right now. We’re all broke and children are expensive.”

 

“Spoken like one who truly understands how reproduction works.”

 

“Reproduction - that’s another word for cosmetic surgery right?”

 

“You’re thinking of liposuction - but you’re close. Easy mistake to make.”

 

“Shut the fuck up already, it’s one in the morning and if you carry on, I’m going to wake up Mingyu and Wonwoo by laughing,” Soonyoung whispers, “and it’ll be your fault.”

 

Seokmin bites his lip to stop himself from saying something so irrevocably cheesy and terrible that he could never show his face within 200 feet of Soonyoung ever again, like it would be worth waking them to hear Soonyoung’s laugh.

 

“Go to bed then,” Seokmin reasons, “I may be hilarious, but even I haven’t figured out how to make people laugh in their sleep.”

 

“Nope-ity, nope,” Soonyoung shakes his head, “You’re taking my bed sunshine - you’re a guest.” Seokmin feels like he needs to check that his heart is still beating after the assault that was ‘sunshine’ - he didn’t know they were in pet name territory.

 

“I can’t do that to you Soonyoung, you’ll freeze out here if there’s been a power shortage.”

 

“Well, I’m not going to turn around and make you sleep out here - why don’t we just share?” and that marks Seokmin’s ascension from this mortal plane. RIP in pieces.

 

“Sure,” he says, because apparently masochism is his thing now, “sharing body heat should help us keep warm as well.” Soonyoung smiles.

 

“I hadn’t thought of that - nice one Seokmin,” Soonyoung smiles, taking Seokmin’s hand and pulling him towards the door, “come on, I think we have a spare toothbrush in the bathroom.”

 

They find the spare toothbrush with minimal searching, and Soonyoung leaves to snuff out the unattended candles while Seokmin does his ablutions. In the darkness, Seokmin’s face seems ghostly and strange, and it’s the time of night where nothing seems real. Except for Soonyoung. Soonyoung is entirely too real, too vivid, too bright. It’s giving Seokmin less of a headache and more of a heartache.

 

“You all done, sunshine?” Soonyoung says as he walks into the bathroom.

 

“Yeah, thanks. Thank you for letting us stay by the way.” Soonyoung huffs a laugh.

 

“You don’t need to thank us, we like having you two here - and Wonwoo especially likes having Mingyu here,” Soonyoung flashes a grin over his shoulder as he leads Seokmin to the bedroom. Although it’s perfectly innocent, Seokmin can feel his cheeks heating up. Soonyoung yawns, and Seokmin thinks it’s possibly the most adorable thing in the world.

 

“I’m aware,” Seokmin  mumbles sleepily.

 

“Which side do you want, dear?” Soonyoung says, and Seokmin _knows_ it’s a joke, that it’s ironic, but his heart rate speeds up just that little bit more anyway.

 

“Honestly, I really don’t mind, honey,” he replies because life is only so long. Soonyoung just smiles and gets into bed, so Seokmin follows his lead. They lie there in silence for a minute, and Seokmin wonders if he should say something, anything.

 

“Goodnight,” Sooyoung says, finally.

 

“Goodnight,” Seokmin returns, and just after he thinks that he won’t ever be able to get to sleep with Soonyoung lying so close next to him, he falls unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anyone else die because of the bts comeback? cause i did holy shit rip in pieces
> 
> also belated happy birthday to jeonghan (and jimin my baby)! as time isn't real, his birthday will be *ahem* touched on next chapter oo
> 
> as always comments and criticism is appreciated :)
> 
> and thank you to jess for being a wonderful beta an a patient friend, listening to me scream about blood, sweat tears and screaming with me about the sf9 debut (seriously go check it out) <3


	5. Pancakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a note that there's some vaguely sexual humour in this chapter - but this level is about as high as it will ever get so don't you worry if that did worry you :/

It’s a clap of thunder that wakes Seokmin up in the morning. That, or Soonyoung has a very strange alarm. Wait. _Soonyoung._

 

Seokmin has not yet opened his eyes, and only closes them tighter. If last night was a dream, he’d like to fall asleep again as soon as possible, so he can hold on to whatever threads are left. If it wasn’t, running fifty five miles away from here to where no one knows his name doesn’t sound too bad. Even if he can still hear the rain beating against the windows - pneumonia schneumonia.

 

He feels a hot heavy weight on his chest and it feels like an arm. He opens his eyes and it is - Soonyoung’s arm is slung across Seokmin’s chest, and his other arm is so close to Seokmin’s face he could probably kiss his goddamn fingertips. If he wanted to. Which he doesn’t.

 

Reaching out with his foot tentatively, he tries to see if he has any freedom there. He doesn’t. Soonyoung’s knee presses into his thigh if he attempts to move his leg anywhere. For all intents and purpose, he’s essentially trapped. Seokmin could move Soonyoung’s arms or even his legs and escape, but he doesn’t know if Soonyoung is a deep sleeper or not and he really doesn’t want to make life any more difficult for Soonyoung than he has already.

 

Or perhaps that’s just how the selfish part of his brain is pitching the idea of staying in Soonyoung’s bed to the rest of him. Goddamnit.

 

Looking around, Seokmin has no clue what time it is. It’s dark outside, but that’s probably the storm that has continued raging through the night. Dull, blue shadows pull Soonyoung’s room outside of time and, along with the warmth of the sheets, and the closeness of Soonyoung, Seokmin thinks that maybe he could stay here and never leave.

 

Soonyoung himself looks beautiful. He’s not a cute or pretty sleeper - Seokmin doubts they exist outside of films; his face is smushed into his pillow and Seokmin’s shoulder, and his breathing is loud and laboured. But to Seokmin he looks beautiful, and in the secretive darkness and unreality of the morning, he allows his mind to run wild with domestic bliss, wondering what it would be like to wake up like this all the time.

 

If Seungkwan could hear Seokmin’s thoughts now, he’d laugh himself into next week.

 

Seokmin sighs and stares at the ceiling, wondering if Mingyu is feeling the same way he is now. Perhaps it’s fate, Seokmin muses, that both he and his roommate have ended up so besotted with Wonwoo and Soonyoung who are also flatmates. If the world were even neater they’d probably end up with a joint wedding - if Soonyoung actually liked Seokmin back romantically, that is. Yeah, right.

 

Thinking about his lack of a chance with Soonyoung produces a sharp taste at the back of his mouth, so Seokmin doesn’t focus too long on that. Instead, he contemplates brushing a soft strand of brown hair away from Soonyoung’s face from where it has fallen across his forehead while unconscious. He thinks about it enough that his hand does it for him. Soonyoung smiles. Seokmin dies.

 

“Morning,” Soonyoung mumbles sleepily, pulling himself closer to Seokmin. Apparently Soonyoung does care what time it is before starting his daily assault on Seokmin.

 

“Good morning to you too,” replies Seokmin, voice thick with sleep and sentiment, hoping the former disguises the latter. Soonyoung’s stray hand that isn't wrapped around Seokmin’s waist is now gently carding through Seokmin’s hair, and he’s doing all he can to not learn into the touch. There’s nothing he can do about the feeling in his stomach that feels sort of like butterflies, but while an overwhelming sense that this is right, that laying here with Soonyoung is how he’s meant to be. Even though it’s definitely not, and crushes on friends are a surefire 10 out of 10 way to get your heart broken slowly, piece by goddamn stupid piece. Especially when Soonyoung is clearly not interested in Seokmin as anything more than a friend.

 

“Sleep well?” Soonyoung asks, pulling Seokmin from his internal lamentation.

 

“Like a baby who had a good night’s sleep,” Seokmin replies and shifts his face a little to the right. This is a mistake it seems, as Soonyoung’s face is now so close that Seokmin would barely need to incline his head to press his lips to Soonyoung’s. And Soonyoung’s eyes are wide open and looking at him with an expression he can’t place, but they are very, very pretty eyes, now that Seokmin’s kind of been given permission to look at them properly while Soonyoung has drifted off to another mental plane of existence than has a doorway somewhere on Seokmin’s face.

 

“Seokmin,” Soonyoung begins, voice barely a murmur, but Seokmin is close enough to hear it. The closeness also allows him to witness something, maybe tension in Soonyoung’s tone or a flicker in his eyes, but it makes Seokmin think that whatever Soonyoung is going to say, whatever kind of rejection he’s going to administer to quell the hope that bubbles underneath Seokmin’s realism, he’d do anything not to hear it and let himself live in bliss of ignorance.

 

“Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Bo-Boonyoung, banana fana Fo-Foonyoung, me mi mo Moonyoung. Sooooooyoung,” Seokmin says, just like any other person would to get out of having their heart broken.

 

“What the hell was that?” Soonyoung laughs, and who on earth decided it was okay for Soonyoung to have such a pretty laugh, and then have him laugh so close to Seokmin that he can feel the bed shake along with Soonyoung’s body, because of course Soonyoung never does anything by half and laughs with joy radiating out of him enough to cause minor seismic activity. Seokmin joins his laughter contagiously - if he doesn’t he’s afraid he might to something horribly stupid like try to kiss Soonyoung.

 

“It’s from an American TV show called American Horror Story. Hansol referenced it once so Seungkwan decided he needed to know what it was and became obsessed with it for about a month, trying to drag me down with him. It happens more often than you’d think,” Seokmin replies when he can speak clearly again.

 

“What, Seungkwan becoming obsessed with something, or him trying to drag you into things?” Soonyoung asks.

 

“Both,” Seokmin admits, “but the dragging is often a result of the obsessions. And the obsessions are 9 times out of 9 something to do with Hansol.”

 

“Seungkwan and Hansol - what a couple. Out of everyone, all our mutual friends, they are probably the worst.”

 

“Our mutual friends? Do you know Hansol and Seungkwan?” Now Seokmin is confused. He knows Mingyu is friends with Seungkwan just as much as Seokmin is, and Mingyu, Seokmin and Hansol are friends, much to Seungkwan’s envy, although he tries to hide it (Seokmin has said a thousand times that Hansol is a really easy guy to get along with, and Seungkwan just needs to stop being so confrontational, but Seungkwan is stubborn). And Mingyu and Soonyoung must be friends from the amount of time that Mingyu spends at Soonyoung and Wonwoo’s flat. But Seokmin can’t believe that Seungkwan was friend with Soonyoung all the time that Seokmin was ‘appreciating’ Soonyoung. No, that sound distinctly like betrayal and something Seungkwan would never do. Seungkwan is, for all his sass and savagery, Seokmin’s best friend and loyal to a fault.

 

“Well, Hansol more than Seungkwan,” Soonyoung says, and that makes a bit more sense, “I met Hansol through Seungcheol.”

 

“Seungcheol?” Seokmin asks, because this is getting weird, “as in Choi Seungcheol, Jeonghan’s boyfriend.”

 

“Yeah,” replies Soonyoung, “we go way back. And Hansol and Seungcheol work together.” Seokmin knew about that - according to Seungkwan, the first time Hansol came into the cafe was with Seungcheol and Jihoon after work.

 

“Huh,” Seokmin says, wondering why everyone he knows seems to know Soonyoung too, “small world. I guess we were bound to meet eventually.”

 

“I’m glad we did,” says Soonyoung, and Seokmin is probably imagining it, but Soonyoung seems to inch closer, “I’m glad we became friends.” Seokmin swallows, and while he has no sympathy for whiny ‘friendzoned’ guys and never will, he feels that this unrequited affection stuff is harder to deal with than he first imagined.

 

Not a day goes by where Seokmin doesn’t wish he had just asked Soonyoung out and made his feelings known at the start, when he had nothing to lose. Now he’s terrified of ruining the friendship they have with his crush and it’s unnecessarily stressful.

 

“Me too,” Seokmin replies, and it’s not a lie. Sort of.

 

Silence hangs in the air like a silvered spider web, and a sense of foreboding fills Seokmin’s stomach and he has to break the serenity before Soonyoung does, taking Seokmin’s emotional stability (if he ever had any) with him.

 

“Hey,” he says, and if Soonyoung notices that his voice is slightly strained he says nothing, “speaking of mutual friends, do you think that if we sneak into Wonwoo’s room-”

 

“We’ll be able to take some sick Mingwoo photos to sell on the black market?” Soonyoung says, the mischievous glint in his eyes bordering on devious.

 

“Well, I can’t say I was thinking black market.”

 

“That’s why you need me, babe,” shivers run down Seokmin’s spine, “without my illegal genius, we’d be making no profit whatsoever, when there’s a golden opportunity right there.”

 

“We’re still making no profit - remember how much that wedding cost us?” Seokmin says, because he like to make his life more difficult than it already is.

 

“Hey, we knew when we hired those One Direction impersonators that it would cost us, but we decided it was worth it to make the day special. Don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy it,” Soonyoung grins.

 

“I know dear, but did we really need to include Zayn?”

 

“Darling,” Soonyoung gasps in horror, “I sincerely hope that was a joke. Otherwise, we’re going to need some serious marriage counselling to stop the divorce papers coming to your door.”

 

“Don’t worry dear, I’m sorry, I know he means a lot to you.”

 

“It’s the eyes,” says Soonyoung mournfully, “they make me fall in love and then break my heart at the same time.”

 

“That’s what you said to me on our wedding night,” Seokmin sniffs dramatically, “as we made _love_. Was it all just words to you and nothing more? Am I just your reserve choice after Zayn Malik? Did you pretend it was him you were saying your vows to?”

 

“Oh no, love, no,” Soonyoung says, cupping Seokmin’s jaw, “Zayn Malik is nothing compared to you. You are the only one for me. Yours is the only direction I’m going in.” Whether it’s the terrible lin or Soonyoung’s hand resting on his cheek, or a combination of the two, Seokmin doesn’t know, but he finally breaks into laughter, his mirth crashing like a tidal wave over him and Soonyoung, who laughs alongside him.

 

“You’re terrible,” Seokmin wheezes.

 

“Says the one,” Soonyoung replies, his eyes glistening with unshed tears of laughter.

 

“Darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.”

 

“Shut the hell up,” laughs Soonyoung, his hand falling away from Seokmin’s face and towards his hand.

 

“Make me,” replies Seokmin and his masochistic tendencies. Soonyoung simply raises an eyebrow and gives him a look before taking Seokmin’s hand and trying to cram it into Seokmin’s mouth.

 

“You’re so strange,” Seokmin laughs as he struggles away from his traitorous appendage. Soonyoung just shrugs and continues with his mission, chasing after Seokmin who’s trying to roll away while Soonyoung stays firmly attached to his hand. Soonyoung traps Seokmin between his knees, straddling Seokmin across his thighs, and goddamn this is not a position Seokmin wants to be in with Soonyoung. Well, he does, and that’s why he doesn’t.

 

“Now,” says Soonyoung in a ridiculous voice that Seokmin this is supposed to be menacing, “you are mine.” He doesn’t know how right he is.

 

“I think you’ve got hold of the wrong enemy here,” Seokmin says breathlessly, staring up at Soonyoung once he’s finished laughing, “aren’t we supposed to be making millions off pictures of Mingyu and Wonwoo?”

 

“Oh shit waddup - you’re right.”

 

“When am I not?”

 

“Like, 420% of the time.”

 

“Ayy blaze it, but also ouch,” Seokmin says as he tries to mask his grin as fast as he can in mock hurt, “I didn’t need you to come for me like that this early in the morning, but okay.”

 

“Sorry babe.”

 

“You know, when you says it like that, you don’t sound sorry at all.”

 

“Maybe that’s because I’m not.”

 

“Well, frankly, that’s rude.”

 

“Well, frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

 

“I don’t want your damns anyway, I want an apology.”

 

“Sorry we’re clean out, last one just went earlier today.”

 

“Ah what a shame. Are you sure? Can you check in the back?”

 

“I really am sure,” Soonyoung says, not budging, “we’ll have none until next week.”

 

“Sure, Jan.”

 

“Don’t you meme at me like that young man.”

 

“Sorry, sorry, sorry baby,” Seokmin says as deadpan as he can in English.

 

“Don’t you dare bring Super Junior into this! In my bed! On my daughter’s wedding day!” Soonyoung near shouts.

 

“That’s not even how the quote goes, and shhh,” Seokmin hushes him, trying not to laugh too loudly and prove himself a hypocrite, “you’ll wake the others.” At this, Soonyoung’s face transforms into a smirk and Seokmin’s stomach twists.

 

“Seokmin-ah,” he says, “I promise you I’ve made much more noise doing more strenuous activities than this in here, and Wonwoo has slept through it completely.”

 

In the corner of Soonyoung’s room there is a miniature Chinese paper lantern. It’s small and hangs from the corner of a bookshelf, but it’s so gloriously red that no one could miss is. Even so, Seokmin reckons the blush he can feel heating up on his cheeks could still rival it for all it’s worth.

 

“I..uh,” Seokmin tries to say something, he’s not sure what, but Soonyoung takes pity on him, his own slight pink blush decorating his cheeks and ears, and he takes Seokmin’s hand and pulls him off the bed and to his feet.

 

“Come on, you’re right,” Soonyoung smiles, leading Seokmin out of the bedroom, “we should catch Mingyu and Wonwoo while we still can.”

 

They creep across the hall, hands still entwined. A rumble of thunder from outside smothers the sound of their steps and seconds later a flash of lightning makes the beads of rain decorating the window show up luminescent.

 

“Have you got your phone?” Soonyoung whispers and Seokmin shakes his head. Seokmin doesn’t know whether he should feel disappointed or relieved when Soonyoung lets go of his hand. Once he’s returned with his phone, Seokmin finds Soonyoung in Wonwoo’s room.

 

“Do you think they fell asleep like that, or gravitated towards one another in the night?” Soonyoung asks, like Seokmin hadn’t woken up held captive by Soonyoung’s limbs.

 

“I don’t know, but this is certainly going in the wedding album,” Seokmin shrugs and raises his phone to take a photo. Wonwoo and Mingyu lie facing one another, hands touching as if they fell asleep holding hands. Mingyu has never snored, and it seems Wonwoo doesn’t either - they are both pretty sleepers it seems, laying there in perfect slumber as if under a spell right out of Disney movie. Definitely one for the wedding album.

 

After Seokmin has finished taking photos on his phone, an idea strikes him. He checks Wonwoo’s bedside table - yes, it’s there, Mingyu’s phone it lying there ready for the taking. Mingyu has an unnerving amount of trust in the world which means he doesn’t have a code or password or anything  for his phone. If he did, it would probably be something dumb like Wonwoo’s favourite colour or birthday or something.

 

Seokmin photographs his subjects with more care this time, before saving the best one as Mingyu’s lock screen. He doesn’t expect a verbal thank you when Mingyu wakes up, but a blush and maybe some free food will be more than enough.

 

But thinking of food makes Seokmin’s stomach rumble. Loudly. Soonyoung stares at him.

 

“Are you, by any chance, hungry?” Soonyoung asks, smiling.

 

“Please, just call me ‘by any chance’. Hungry is my father.”

 

“Not the usual dad joke made in this scenario, but a good one none the less,” Soonyoung grins, “come on, there’s actual real food in the fridge right now. Mingyu dragged Wonwoo out shopping yesterday so he could make dinner. Wonwoo was complaining all the time they were leaving.”

 

“Well, we might as well put it to good use. How much of a fan are you of western pancakes? Not the Korean kind, or the American ones, but the French style kind?” Seokmin asks flicking on the kitchen lights. The change in brightness is blinding for a second, but Seokmin’s eyes soon acclimatise, even without his glasses on, and he goes to the fridge.  

 

“Honestly? That sounds amazing, and I will willingly devour whatever culinary delights you deign to put in front of me,” Soonyoung says sliding onto the counter next to the fridge.

 

“You sure know how to sweet talk a man,” Seokmin smirks, pulling eggs and milk out of the fridge, “now - do you have any flour?”

 

“In that cupboard there,” Soonyoung says, pointing across the kitchen while swinging his legs. Seokmin follows his finger and hunts for the flour. “I don’t know if it will still be good, I don’t know much about flour,” Soonyoung continues, “and neither me or Wonwoo bake all that often. The last time that flour saw some action was before I broke up with my ex, so at least three months.” Seokmin stops in his tracks.

 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” Seokmin says because he’s a little at a loss for words. There are questions he wants to ask, but maybe he should save that for when he can prise Wonwoo out of Mingyu’s grip and interrogate him over coffee or something. Or maybe even Junhui or Chan - they might even be easier to get a hold of. Though perhaps not Minghao. Seokmin is still a little bit afraid of him.

 

“Don’t be,” Soonyoung says with a casual wave of his hand, “it needed to end. It wasn’t the greatest relationship - he cheated on me for a month before I broke up with him. Not exactly fairy-tale calibre stuff.”

 

Seokmin has never felt so conflicted - he’s selfishly happy that Soonyoung is at least somewhat into guys, but he’s angry as hell because what kind of asshole cheats on Soonyoung? He begins to mix his batter, and he swears he doesn’t mean to whisk so roughly.

 

“You deserve better, Soonyoung. With all the fairy-tale crap and everything,” Seokmin says with possibly too much passion in his voice, but he needs Soonyoung to understand. The next hypothetical partner of Soonyoung’s that comes along is going to get the most brutal and vitriolic shovel talk Seokmin has ever given in his goddamn life, crush or no crush.

 

“Thanks Seokmin,” Soonyoung says softly, “You’re really sweet.”

 

“It’s just the truth,” Seokmin shrugs, and he turns away before Soonyoung can see too much of his blushing face. Soonyoung yawns and Seokmin hears 2NE1’s ‘I am the Best’ emanating from his phone on the side. Jeonghan.

 

“It’s Jeonghan,” he tells Soonyoung, who smiles and shakes his head. Seokmin pulls out his phone and puts it on speaker. “Hey Jeonghan-hyung,” he sings, “what can I do for you this fine morning?”

 

“You can be free next Friday evening for my birthday,” Jeonghan replies, “and tell Mingyu too. I’m closing the cafe early on Friday and Saturday morning so that everyone can go out and get crunk as hell.”

 

“Hyung, no one says crunk anymore,” Seokmin sighs as Soonyoung cackles.

 

“Let me live child, words are just words,” Jeonghan replies with a sense of smugness.

 

“Yes, child,” Soonyoung intones and Seokmin, like the mature adult he is, sticks his tongue out.

 

“Is that Soonyoung?” Jeonghan asks, interrupting any form of self defense Seokmin could offer, “Why are you with him at this time in the morning? Are you - Did you two-” Seokmin covers the speaker before Soonyoung can hear any more or Jeonghan’s _insinuations_ , and turns his face away to avoid his red face being seen.

 

“Hyung,” Seokmin hisses, “shut the hell up, you were on speaker!” Jeonghan just laughs.

 

“Oh come on Seokminnie, don’t be such a priss. Nothing wrong with a bit of gland-to-gland combat between friends.” Seokmin can practically feel Jeonghan smirking and thinks his face must be getting tired of turning red so often.

 

“Hyung!” Seokmin splutters, “It’s not like that!” He can hear Soonyoung’s laugh from across the kitchen.

 

“Suuure.”

 

“It’s not,” he says hotly, “we’re just friends. That’s the end.”

 

“Okay, okay, chill,” Jeonghan laughs gently, recognising Seokmin’s embarrassment comes from a more sensitive place than he first thought, “can I talk to him?”

 

What?

 

“What?” Seokmin says, “You want to talk to Soonyoung? What about?”

 

“Just give him the goddamn phone, Seokmin, it’s party business okay? No need to get your knickers in a twist.”

 

“Sure,” Seokmin replies, decidedly unassured, and he hands Soonyoung the phone with a shrug, “he wants to talk to you.”

 

“Hey Angel-hyung,” greets Soonyoung as he takes the phone, and almost straight away, he starts to wander around the kitchen, pacing back and forth. Seokmin smiles into his batter.

 

“I know,” Soonyoung laughs as he throws a glance Seokmin’s way, “nah, I reckon it’s cute.” Seokmin can feel his ears burning, but stops himself from trying to eavesdrop on the conversation and instead starts to look for a frying pan.

 

“I’m trying, I promise hyung,” Seokmin hears Soonyoung say as he returns to his batter triumphant, frying pan in hand, “yeah, I’ll tell them - yeah, Chan will definitely be there, I know he’s your favourite - I’ll talk to his mum, she’s really lenient, I’m sure she’ll be fine with it.”

“Hey guys,” Mingyu yawns, shuffling into the kitchen as the hob flickers to life. He flops down onto a stool and Seokmin thinks he has never looked more like a three month old puppy as he blinks slowly, looking at the kitchen like he’s never seen a cupboard in his life.

 

“Morning Mingyu,” Seokmin says while Soonyoung laughs as he rearranges magnets on the fridge, “sleep alright?”

 

“Yeah, I reckon I was so tired I would have slept through anything.”

 

“Well, hopefully you’ve had enough sleep to not face plant into your breakfast,” Seokmin grins, taking a ladle and spooning pancake batter onto the sizzling pan.

 

“Hey, that was one time, and it was Seojin’s fault - that week I babysat I had a completely different sleep schedule,” says Mingyu indignantly.

 

“Okay, sure.”

 

“You _know_ it’s the truth - you were _there_.”

 

“Hmm was I? I can’t seem to remember - that sound fake to me Mingyu, you shouldn’t lie like this.”

 

“Thanks, hyung - I’ll see you soon - no, I haven’t forgotten - okay goodbye now, say hey to Seungcheol-hyung for me,” Soonyoung says as he hangs up and make his way over to where Seokmin is cooking.

 

“You can’t remember?” Mingyu says to Seokmin, “ I guess your memory is going, old man.”

 

“Old man? Don’t disrespect your grandpa like that,” Soonyoung admonishes Mingyu as he rejoins the conversation.

 

“Aish, grandma don’t distract me, I’m trying to do something difficult here, take your jabbering somewhere else,” Seokmin interjects, waving Soonyoung away with his spatula.

 

“Jabbering? I was defending you from your rude grandson,” says an affronted Soonyoung.

 

“Shh, watch,” says Seokmin, before he flips the pancake.

 

“Ahh you’re so skilled, I’m glad I married such a wonderful man all those years ago,” Soonyoung gushes, throwing his arms around Seokmin from behind and Seokmin can feel his breath on the back of his neck, “Mingyu-ah, isn’t your grandfather wonderful.” Seokmin flushes red, but doesn’t move to shake Soonyoung off.

 

“He flipped a pancake, Soonyoung-hyung, and you two aren’t my grandparents,” says a confused Mingyu and Soonyoung laughs, tickling the nape of Seokmin’s neck.

 

“What has gotten into you this morning, Mingyu-ah?” Seokmin says as he slides the pancake onto a plate and hands it to Mingyu, “first me, now your grandmother - you are being disrespectful, apologise at once.”

 

Mingyu sighs and reaches for the sugar.

 

“Look at this,” Soonyoung says miserably, removing himself from Seokmin’s back, “so young, yet he’s already outgrown us.”

 

“That’s the way it goes,” Seokmin says, flipping a pancake, “but they always come back when they need us.”

 

“I just wish it wasn’t so bittersweet, don’t you dear?” Bittersweet is being Soonyoung’s friend and constantly wondering if he wants to be something more the same way you do. Bittersweet is flirting with Soonyoung and knowing he means nothing by it. Bittersweet is feeling like you’ve found apart of yourself in another person that makes you feel more like you, while they don’t even realise because it hasn’t affected them like it has you

 

Yeah, bittersweet covers it, Seokmin thinks. Bittersweet is the word he’s been looking for since they met.

 

“I would change it if I could,” Seokmin says, more bitterly than sweet as he slides the pancake onto a plate and hands it to Soonyoung, “but we have what we have, and what we have is an ungrateful grandson.”

 

“You guys are so overdramatic,” Mingyu says and Soonyoung takes the pancake with a glowing smile, before rounding on Mingyu.

 

“What do you mean overdramatic? I think you’ll find you’re just under dramatic.”

 

“No, it’s not that,” Seokmin says, beginning on a third pancake, “he just repressed - he won’t let his dramaticness free, and is therefore jealous of those who do.”

 

“I don’t think dramaticness is a real word.”

 

“Words aren’t real, Mingyu,” says Soonyoung, eating a bite of his pancake.

 

“Uhh,” is all Mingyu replies with, and Seokmin can’t help laughing as Soonyoung grins wolfishly around his fork.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Mingyu, most things aren’t real,” Soonyoung continues as Mingyu’s mind continues to buffer.

 

“Just ignore him, Mingyu,” Seokmin advises, flipping the third pancake.

 

“Rude.”

 

“Well, Mingyu has to get it from somewhere and it certainly isn’t from me.”

 

“I’m going to have to disagree with you there.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Fine,” says Seokmin, sliding the pancake onto a plate and sitting down next to Soonyoung.

 

“Ew no, don’t sit next to me,” whines Soonyoung, shuffling away.

 

“Why not?”

 

“You’re _infected_.”

 

“With what?”

 

“Having a wrong opinion, bye,” Soonyoung shrugs.

 

“Well then you’re also infected.”

 

“What?”

 

“Your opinion about my opinion being wrong, is wrong. Take that and stick it in your pineapple.”

 

“Excuse you, I am not wrong - and if I am, I caught it from you and your infection or wrongness.”

 

“Um, when would you have caught it from me? We’re complete strangers, why am I in your house? Who are you?”

 

“Nice try, but I know the truth. You’re wrong about everything, and now I’m catching it,” Soonyoung heaves a sob, “I should never have slept with you last night.”

 

Mingyu, who had been trying to ignore Seokmin and Soonyoung in favour of staring blankly at his plate after each bite, nearly chokes on his pancake.

“You WHAT?” he shouts, eyes darting between the two. Soonyoung smirks.

 

“Mingyu, Mingyu, Mingyu,” Soonyoung starts slowly, “When two men l-”

 

“Oh wow, look at that, it’s time for you to shut the fuck up,” Seokmin forces a smile as he slaps his hand over Soonyoung’s mouth, stopping him from getting any further. Knowing Seokmin’s luck, Mingyu will take Soonyoung seriously, or think that what Soonyoung was going to say equates to meaning he likes Seokmin as more than a friend. Even though it’s so obviously untrue, Mingyu would hold onto that and probably team up with Seungkwan again, plus a myriad of Seokmin and Soonyoung mutual friends, which apparently they have a lot of, to pull some matchmaker bullshit. And Seokmin is not about that life at all.

 

There’s an evil glint in Soonyoung’s smiling eyes and before Seokmin knows what’s hit him, there’s an uncomfortably wet and warm sensation on the palm of his hand.

 

“What the hell? Did you just lick me?” Soonyoung asks, pulling his hand away. In reply, Soonyoung shrugs.

 

“Got you to move your hand, didn’t it? Problem solved.”

 

“Soblem prolved.”

 

“Priblem silved.”

 

“Prublem sulved.”

 

“What the fuck,” Wonwoo says as he comes into the kitchen, sleepily leaning into the back of Mingyu’s shoulder as he winces at the lights. Mingyu, who had drifted away to where a small library of books lay on the counter by the door as soon as he realised that, shockingly, Soonyoung and Seokmin were messing around, comes alive again when he feels Wonwoo against his back,

 

“Hey good morning,” he smiles, as he turns - much to Wonwoo’s chagrin as he lets out a whine. He quiets, however, when Mingyu pulls him close to his chest in soft hug. Seokmin can almost feel himself and the rest of the world fading away from Mingyu and Wonwoo, who are standing there in a moment that is purely their own.

 

Soonyoung and Seokmin turn to one another, eyebrows raised. They both nearly laugh, but stop themselves from  ruining the atmosphere - a more titanic feat than it sounds, as Mingyu and Wonwoo look like they’ve stepped of the cover of a goddamn harlequin romance novel.

 

Leaving his pancake, he heads back over to the hob to recommence his pancake making. Out of the corner of his eye, he spies Soonyoung raising his phone to take a photo of Mingyu and Wonwoo, winking at Seokmin with a grin, causing Seokmin to blush and look away. Soonyoung wasn’t wrong, Seokmin thinks as he pours batter onto the pan - if Mingyu and Wonwoo were a celebrity couple, Soonyoung and Seokmin could make a killing, either through blackmail or the black market. The former is much more likely, however, and not for the first time in his life Seokmin feels torn a thousand different ways with his emotions ranging from resignation to rage as he thinks about the way Wonwoo and Mingyu would be treated if they were celebrities in an openly non-heterosexual relationship.

 

But they’re not celebrities, thank god. Unless there’s some Hannah Montana bullshit going down that Seokmin doesn’t know about. At this point, he’d be more surprised if there wasn’t.

 

“Hey,” Soonyoung says softly, sidling up to Seokmin as he flips the pancake.

 

“Hey,” Seokmin replies, “did you like the pancake?”

 

“It was glorious,” Soonyoung smiles, “A* grade - no, A** grade - no, not even that A constellation grade.”

 

“That’s a lot of stars.”

 

“You’re a lot of stars.”

 

“Ohhhh sick burn,” Seokmin says, and he goes to slide the pancake onto a plate, but he tips the pan too far and drops the pan and the pancake with it. He watches it fall, almost in slow motion and reaches to grab the pancake and the pan. The pancake Seokmin manages to grab by the edge, without ripping it, but the pan sails straight past his hand to floor, catching the side of his thumb in the process.

 

“Shit,” Seokmin hisses, throwing the pancake onto the side and clutching his hand to his chest in agony.

 

“Oh fuck,” Soonyoung agrees, and he pulls Seokmin over to the sink, “you’ve gotta run it under the tap, bro.” Water rushes out of the faucet, providing Seokmin some relief but the pain is horrible.

 

“It’s fucking ironic,” Seokmin says trying to smile.

 

“What?” says Soonyoung distracted by holding Seokmin’s hand under the tap, “oh, because you were like ‘sick burn’ and now you have a burn.”

 

“Yeah,” Seokmin says, “fuck.”

 

“Do you think it’s burnt properly then?”

 

“If it is, it’s probably just first degree at most,” Seokmin says and Soonyoung visibly relaxes, “I should be okay with some painkillers and maybe an antiseptic wipe or something.”

 

“That I can do - hold on,” Soonyoung says before rushing off to the bathroom. It’s only then that Seokmin notices that Mingyu and Wonwoo have disappeared. So much for Wonwoo’s pancake.

 

When Soonyoung reappears, it’s with a first aid kit in hand which he puts on the side next to the sink before searching in the kitchen draws. He emerges with a blister pack of what Seokmin assumes is some form of painkiller, and puts it next to the first aid kit. Then, Soonyoung races across the kitchen once more and pull a glass out of a cupboard and rushes over to the sink.

 

“Ah,” he says and Seokmin is surprised he’s not out of breath, “how am I going to get you some water when you’re running your hand under the tap?” Seokmin shrugs.

 

“It’s okay, I can take them dry,” Seokmin says, because he is not bringing up the subject of gag reflexes, okay.

 

“Over my dead body,” Soonyoung snorts, “the medication absorbs into the body better with water. Without drinking water it can really hurt your stomach.”

 

“Who taught you that?” Seokmin asks, curious as to why Soonyoung knows so much about taking pain medication.

 

“Your mum.”

 

“Wow.”

 

“You love me.”

 

“In your dreams.”

 

“Nah, that would be more like a nightmare,” Soonyoung smiles impishly.

 

“Ouch.”

 

“Sorry, babe.”

 

“Don’t you ‘babe’ me, young man.”

 

“I’m older than you.”

 

“Shit sorry, don’t you ‘babe’ me, ancient dinosaur.”

 

“Are you trying to insult me by calling me a dinosaur? Because it won’t work,” Soonyoung says, “now, try taking your hand out of the water, and I’ll fill up the glass as fast as I can.” Seokmin nods and pulls his hands away from the flow. As soonyoung, places the glass underneath the tap, Seokmin inspects the burn. The skin is red and shiny, but it doesn’t look too bad - Seokmin will survive this.

 

What he won’t survive, on the other hand, is Soonyoung taking Seokmin’s injured hand between both of his own after Seokmin’s medicine has been consumed correctly. Soonyoung’s touch is gentle as he slowly rubs some kind of antibacterial cream on the burn, contrasting the violent frown of concentration decorating his face, complete with his tongue poking out. It’s offensively adorable and it almost makes Seokmin wish he had followed his aunt’s advice and become a lawyer, just so he could launch a lawsuit against Soonyoung and his cute frowns and beautiful laughs and ridiculous jokes.

 

Time seems to slow down to a halt, so much so Seokmin almost forgets it exists, and Seokmin watches every minute movement of Soonyoung’s face in detail. Time may not be real, but the way Seokmin’s heart is racing over nothing, and the tightness in his chest and the fluttering in his stomach sure as hell are, and Seokmin isn’t sure which he should be scared of most. Time has a word, but so does what Seokmin is feeling, and it feels too fast to say it, but it feels right.

 

If only Seokmin’s sense of what’s right and the universe’s were the same. Maybe then he’d stand a chance.  

 

“There,” Soonyoung says, with a final pat of the dressing, “all better.”

 

“All better,” Seokmin echoes, “thanks, Soonyoung.”

 

“It’s no problem, I just hope it heals - I don’t want you suing me.” For the burn? Seokmin would never. For Soonyoung’s goddamn _Soonyoungness?_  Every day of the goddamn week.

 

“Eh, I wouldn’t sue you, you’re broke as hell.”

 

“Alright then, Robin Hood.”

 

“If I’m Robin Hood, who are you?”

 

“I’m the prettiest,” Soonyoung says and Seokmin can’t fault him there, “so I’m obviously Maid Marian.”

 

“Ah, that means we’d have to get married,” Seokmin says, wagging a finger on his good hand, now that the other has been strapped down into strange positions with Soonyoung’s micro-pore tape skills.

 

“I can think of worse people to marry,”  Soonyoung shrugs. Seokmin’s head stops but his mouth keeps working.

 

“Me too,” he says, far, far too honestly, “me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god bless this october - the hiphop team's check in music video, exo cbx's debut, lay's fucking beautiful masterpiece of a solo album, even fucking luhan has a new song
> 
> you would not believe the level of weird shit i have had to google for this chapter though oh my god i have been places
> 
> thank you all for being patient with me, that means a lot to me. i'm sorry i can't update as frequently as i'd like - school has decided to murder me with exams and assessments and i should be revising like right now but hopefully, hopefully, i should figure something out soon
> 
> as always, thank you to jess for being a wonderful beta and putting up with me, and thank you for reading! comments and criticism are always welcome as this is my first fic and idk what im doing lol :)
> 
> p.s. if anyone gets my film reference, i love you


	6. Flapjack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so im just going to recommend that if you havent listened to this before you read the chapter, do it now. seriously
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_krT35dgDM

“At least let me dry - seriously, hyung, I can help.”

 

“What? And hurt your hand even more so I feel guilty for the rest of my life? No way, Jose,” Soonyoung scoffs.

 

“Hyung, your memory’s going again - I’m Seokmin, not Jose, remember?” Seokmin smirks from his kitchen stool, watching Soonyoung wash up.

 

“I expect this kind of rudeness from Mingyu, but from my own husband of 67 years? Honestly, I’m hurt,” says Soonyoung, rapping Seokmin across the nose with a fork.

 

“You’re just getting sensitive in your old age - like a bruised peach.”

 

“Wow, nice analogy, your language teacher must have been proud of you back in the day.”

 

“You know, I want that compliment to be sincere, so even though I know it’s sarcastic, I’ll tell you that yes, actually, all my teachers adored me.”

 

“Figures,” snorts Soonyoung, “I should have known you were a teacher’s pet.”

 

“I’m going to guess from your tone that you weren’t then?”

 

“No comment.”

 

“Are you telling me you were a bad boy in your youth, Mr. Kwon? Because you know that turns me on.”

 

“For you, I’ll be anything, Mr. Lee.”

 

Seokmin doesn’t know what he expected from Soonyoung at this point, but it’s been twenty minutes since the last time he had a Soonyoung-induced heart attack, so really, he should have figured that something was on it way.

 

“Anything?” says Seokmin, steadfastly ignoring the dryness of his mouth.

 

“Anything.”

 

“Does anything include double Academy Award nominee, Nicolas ‘Nic Cage’ Coppola?” Seokmin says with a face that’s straighter than he has ever been in his whole life.

 

Soonyoung closes his eyes and exhales heavily from his nose, shaking his head. Slowly a smile breaks out across his face and when he turns to look at Seokmin, his eyes are open again, and are sparkling with something that isn’t quite laughter but somehow it’s even better. Whatever it is it’s vibrant and pure and Seokmin reckons that he could survive purely on that look. He couldn't, obviously, but apparently his emotions are making him really dumb. He refreshes his mental note to say absolutely nothing of his internal Soonyoung musings to Seungkwan ever.

 

“I knew I liked you for a reason,” Soonyoung says, ending Seokmin’s mental monolog.

 

“You mean it wasn’t just my dashing good looks?” Seokmin says, with an exaggerated pout.

 

“What?” Soonyoung says, squinting at Seokmin’s face, “I can’t find them. Did you leave them at home? Perhaps they were so dashing, they dashed away.”

 

“I,” Seokmin begins, the shock of the betrayal on his face, “I have never been so insulted. That’s it. We’re getting a divorce.” Soonyoung gasps.

 

“Darling, you can’t be serious,” Soonyoung pleads, moving closer to Seokmin, “you must know I was joking.”

 

“That’s what you always say,” says Seokmin miserably, “but it cuts deep, Soonyoung, it cuts deep.”

 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Soonyoung says wrapping his arms around Seokmin, “I never mean it to you. To me, you’re the most beautiful being in the world. I only wish there was some way of showing you that’s more than words, for all the languages in the world would not be enough.”

 

Seokmin is no longer alive. He looks alive, sure - but that’s only because now that he’s dead he’s turned into a ghost and his ghost is now possessing his body.

 

“That’s what you say to all the boys,” Seokmin says, dramatically turning away with a huff and a flounce.

 

“My words, my eyes, my everything are only for you.” Perhaps Soonyoung is dead too - his cholesterol must be going through the roof with all that cheesiness.

 

“Okay,” Seokmin says, voice full of emotion as he cups Soonyoung’s cheek, trying to stop his hand from shaking too much, “that sounds fake… but okay.”

 

“You fucking meme,” Soonyoung laughs, and Seokmin expects him to pull away so Seokmin can maybe have a break, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just rests his forehead against Seokmin’s shoulder and laughs into his chest.

 

“Guilty as charged,” replies Seokmin, more softly and breathlessly than he intended.

 

“Chuilty as garged,” Soonyoung says like it’s an impulse and Seokmin rolls his eyes

 

“I’m starting to see what people mean when they say that you’re terrible.”

 

“Hey, they say that we’re terrible. Don’t exclude yourself from this. We bring out the worst in each other.”

 

“I’d say it’s more like the best.”

 

“Aw, Seokmin-ah,” Soonyoung croons, “are you getting all soft? Is our friendship special to you? Don’t worry, it’s special to me too.” Seokmin rolls his eyes, but it can’t hide the blush flourishing on his cheeks.

 

“Shut up,” he retorts and tries to push Soonyoung away, but Soonyoung takes this as his cue to cling tighter.

 

“Ah I love you too Seokminnie, I’m so happy we’re best friends.”

 

“Don’t you have washing up to do?” Seokmin sighs, hoping to masquerade the sound of his heart thudding away in his chest.

 

“Sure, but I also have homework to do, but does it look like I’m doing that?”

 

“I don’t know, your homework might be to do your best boa constrictor impression.”

 

“You think this is my best boa constrictor impression? What kind of amateur do you think I am?” Soonyoung says, mock-affronted.

 

“Like a wise man once said, no comment.”

 

“Go away,” whines Soonyoung, pushing away from Seokmin finally, “you’re bullying me.”

 

“You were the one boa constrictorising me!” Seokmin protests.

 

“Boa constrictorising?”

 

“That’s what I said.”

 

“That’s what you said,” Soonyoung agrees, starting to wash up again, “but I wanted to check, just in case I had a momentary lapse of sanity, but no. It was just you.”

 

“I came out to have a good time, and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now,” Seokmin near whispers, but Soonyoung still hears and laughs.

 

“Just when I think you can’t be any more of a meme, you turn around and prove me wrong.”

 

“I’m only trying to keep this marriage exciting for you, darling.”

 

“What? Are you afraid I’ll run off with someone else? You don’t need to be insecure, dearest.”

 

“I know, but I want you to be happy darling. You’re a wonderful wife.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I know you know.”

 

“I know you know I know.”

 

“I know you know I know you know.”

 

“I know you know I - I actually can’t do this,” Soonyoung laughs, “I am trying to do a job here and I can’t if you keep distracting me.”

 

“Sorry, sorry, sorry-”

 

“Quote Super Junior one more time this morning,” Soonyoung says, rounding on Seokmin with a ladle held out threateningly, “just one more fucking time and-”

 

“And what?”

 

“I’ll be forced to do something you really won’t-.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“If you stopped interrupting me every five seconds, I’d be able to tell you,” Soonyoung says cooly.

 

“You mean you want me to-”

 

“Don’t,” Soonyoung warns, “I know what you’re going to fuckin say, so don’t.”

 

“Close your lips,” Seokmin whispers in his best Shindong impression, “Shut your tongue.”

 

“Oh my god, I hate you,” Soonyoung says, laughing so hard he would fall to the floor if he didn’t just fall into Seokmin’s chest and start beating his new crash mat lightly with the ladle.

 

“Hey, ouch,” Seokmin says, while trying to keep a very giggly Soonyoung upright, “you not only hurt my emotions, but then you go and hit my shoulder with a ladle! My shoulder, Soonyoung! They’re my pride and joy!”

“Ehhh, Jeonghan’s are better,” Soonyoung shrugs, shifting to  just lean against Seokmin rather than have all of his weight pressed to Seokmin’s chest. Seokmin sends a little prayer to whoever might be listening to thank them for small mercies.

 

“Fuck you,” Seokmin laughs, pushing Soonyoung away.

 

“If you insist,” Soonyoung replies, and Seokmin knows he’s just being an idiot, that he’s just being Soonyoung, but it just isn’t _fair_ . It should be illegal for Soonyoung to just stand there in his kitchen, adorable bedhead at full force, wearing that black t-shirt which has done something in the night to expose a frankly obscene amount of Soonyoung’s collar bones, and saying things like _that_ . Especially as Seokmin knows he should be making a joke, or a witty comment, or _something_ , but his brain can’t exactly compute right now.

 

“I’m alright actually,” he chokes out eventually, blushing, “I think I’ll pass.”

 

Soonyoung just laughs and shrugs. “Fair enough,” he says and goes back to washing up like nothing happened.

 

Because nothing _has_ happened. And nothing ever _will_ happen. Goddamnit.

 

“Hey, can I use your shower?” Seokmin asks. He needs to clear he head without the incredibly distracting presence of Soonyoung as soon as possible or Seokmin thinks he might go a little crazy.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Soonyoung says, throwing a smile over his shoulder like actresses do in shampoo commercials, only a thousand times more beautiful, “just be careful of your hand!”

 

“Yeah, yeah - sure, mum.”

 

“And remember to clean behind your ears, young man!” Soonyoung adds, with a dangerous wave of a butter knife and Seokmin laughs as he leaves the kitchen.

 

Mingyu and Wonwoo have either already taken showers, or just haven’t bothered with them yet as when Seokmin reaches the bathroom it’s empty. The coolness of the air and the humming of the shower fan seem to emphasise the sweaty stickiness Seokmin has been feeling ever since he woke up, but couldn’t be bothered. Seokmin tells himself that’s the reason firmly, ignoring the part of his brain that sounds a lot like Seungkwan asking if there were no other reasons he was sidetracked, especially ones that begin with S and end in G.

 

He strips and showers, focusing on nothing but the dark patch of mold on the grouting at the corner of the shower. Or at least he tries to. Like always, whenever he tries not to think about Soonyoung, Soonyoung starts to plague Seokmin’s mind, and he becomes hyper aware of everything, including the fact that he is in Soonyoung’s shower, where Soonyoung washes himself everyday, standing under the warm spray, as naked as Seokmin is right now and-

 

Seokmin is never going to learn his goddamn lesson.

 

He bangs his head lightly against the wall of the shower, hoping that it might knock him unconscious so he can stop his brain for thinking stupid, terrible thoughts, as that seems to be it’s speciality recently. Or technically _his_ speciality. Seokmin has never really understood how biology works, and he’s not going to start now. He’s an architect for a reason.

 

Well, he hopes to be. He won’t be if he doesn’t get his coursework done, and he can’t even remember the last time he did any actual work. Unsurprisingly, thinking about all the work he has to do doesn’t make him want to do it more, in fact he’s rather just stay in Soonyoung’s bathroom for the rest of his existence. Soonyoung would probably let him, as well. He’s a terrible enabler and Seokmin loves him for it.

 

Love in a platonic sort of way, of course. As in best buds forever - no, five-ever. As in the same way Seokmin loves Mingyu, only not in the way Seokmin loves Mingyu because while he does love Mingyu, he doesn’t want to wake up beside Mingyu every morning, or any morning for that matter, and he doesn’t want to kiss Mingyu and his heart doesn’t start doing star jumps whenever he sees Mingyu, but it does when he sees Soonyoung because Seokmin is in-

 

Well. Shit.

 

Seungkwan fucking called it. Goddamnit.

 

He finishes washing and turns off the shower with a sigh. Seokmin doesn’t know what to think. Falling in love shouldn’t happen this quickly, he complains to himself mentally. But he doesn’t know how else to describe what he feels. He knows he loves Soonyoung, Seokmin would say he loves all his friends. He just loves Soonyoung in the same way as all of his friends, but with another million degrees of intensity and along with another kind. Romantic doesn’t seem a strong enough word - in fact, nothing seems enough. There aren’t words for kind of elation and desperation Seokmin feels simultaneously around Soonyoung. It’s young and new and so unrequited it hurts, but Seokmin thinks that it’s got to be love in some way, shape or form.

 

A knock at the door brings Seokmin back to reality where he’s standing cold and wet and naked in the shower. He grabs a towel and wraps it around his waist before going to the door.

 

“Hey,” Seokmin says to Soonyoung when he opens the door, but Soonyoung doesn’t reply. Instead he just stares. Seokmin follows his line of vision - shit, Soonyoung probably definitely doesn’t need to see Seokmin’s chest in all it’s damp glory from the shower. Fuck, what if Soonyoung thinks Seokmin’s trying to seduce him or something?

 

“Shit, sorry,” Seokmin mutters, grabbing a second towel from the rail, and wraps it under his arms and around his chest.

 

“No, no, it’s fine,” Soonyoung replies, somewhat faintly, “it was just a bit of a surprise.”

 

“Ah, fair enough,” Seokmin laughs nervously, “so what can I do you for?”

 

“How old are you? Forty? I thought only people my parent’s age said shit like that.”

 

“If I’m forty, you’re forty one.”

 

“Thank you for that mathematical insight, Einstein,” Soonyoung smirks, “anyway, I came to bring you your jeans and shirt from yesterday. I put them through the dryer, but the jumper isn’t quite dry yet.”

 

“Ah thank you! I hadn’t thought about finding clothes yet,” Seokmin says honestly as he accepts the clothes. His mind was a bit muddled before he took the shower so Seokmin doesn’t think he’s to blame.

 

“God knows how you and Mingyu organise yourselves with just the two of you in your flat,” Soonyoung laughs, “it must be a black hole of foresight.”

 

“Okay, rude,” Seokmin laughs, “true, but rude.”

 

“Just go and get dressed Minnie,” Soonyoung smiles brightly, “then maybe afterwards we could watch a film? I think I can hear National Treasure calling your name.”

 

Seokmin has to fight his knee jerk reaction to say yes and regretfully forces himself to say, “I’d love to, but I’m really sorry, I need to get home and do some of my homework or I’ll have done nothing over the whole weekend.”

 

“Ah, well,” says Soonyoung, smile dropping to half mast, “maybe next time?”

 

“Yeah,” Seokmin near shouts, not wanting Soonyoung to get the wrong impression of Seokmin not wanting to watch a shitty American film with him, “next time for sure.”

 

“I’ll hold you to that,” Soonyoung warns, smile becoming brighter by the second, “but I suppose the Declaration of Independence can be safe for another day. Now go and put some clothes on!”

 

“Aye, aye, captain,” Seokmin salutes and with a final smile shuts the bathroom door. With a loud expulsion of air, he leans back against the door before shaking his head and quickly dressing. Once dressed, Seokmin takes the toothbrush Soonyoung gave him the night before and brushes his teeth. After one last look in the mirror, Seokmin picks up the clothes he wore to sleep and leaves the bathroom.

 

He finds Soonyoung in the living room, tidying up the mess the four of them made the previous evening and singing what sounds like Super Junior’s ‘This Is Love’. It’s just been a Super Junior kind of morning, Seokmin guesses.

 

“Hey,” Seokmin says, announcing his presence in the room, “where should I put these?” he asks, holding up the clothes.

 

“Oh hey, just leave them with me, I’ll sort it out,” Soonyoung smiles, taking the washing from him, “though in the meantime, could you finish sorting things out in here?”

 

“Yeah, sure, I’ll get right to it,” Seokmin smiles, before setting about his task. The room isn’t overly messy, apart from the area where Soonyoung and Seokmin were sat to watch the film. Seokmin has to get on his hands and knees to pick pieces of popcorn off the floor.

 

But Seokmin doesn’t particularly mind it - the tidying is therapeutic and it makes him feel like he’s been productive in some way. Soon, Seokmin is following in Soonyoung’s footsteps and starts singing softly to himself, but decides to break away from the Super Junior theme, and begins with Red Velvet’s Ice Cream Cake.

 

Seokmin’s just got to the second chorus, and might be slightly breaking into the choreography as he tidies, when he hears a snicker from the doorway. He spins around to see Mingyu and Wonwoo standing there in the doorway, fully dressed with their coats and shoes on, laughing at him a little. Unembarrassed, knowing they mean no harm, Seokmin just grins and begins dancing towards them. Mingyu squawks in surprise, and Wonwoo begins laughing at him too.

 

“What noise was that?” Wonwoo manages to say through his laughter, and a pink blush appears on Mingyu’s ears and cheeks.

 

“Ah that was the sound of the wild Mingyu’s warning cry, to other Mingyus around that there is an eminent threat in the area,” Seokmin grins while Mingyu pouts.

 

“I’m not a bird,” he sulks.

 

“No, you’re a Mingyu. Of the Kimius Mingyuis genus.”

 

“Shut up,” Mingyu whines.

 

“There, there,” says Wonwoo with an unsympathetic pat of Mingyu’s back, “I know you’re not a bird.”

 

In reply, Mingyu just humphs and Wonwoo laughs, which brings a small smile to Mingyu’s face. Seokmin rolls his eyes.

 

“Hey, Mingyu, I’m going to head back to the flat soon,” Seokmin says, anchoring Mingyu and Wonwoo to reality, “do you want to come with me?”

 

“Thanks, Seokmin-hyung, but we’re going to go down to the abandoned dog centre,” Mingyu grins, his words full of excitement.

 

“To volunteer, to look or to adopt?” Seokmin asks suspiciously. Their apartment building has a ban on pets, and while Seokmin does love dogs, he’s slightly thankful for it. However, he doesn’t know about the situation for Wonwoo and Soonyoung’s building. If they allow dogs, Seokmin is sure it’ll take precisely no time at all for Mingyu to convince Wonwoo to adopt a dog with him. Soonyoung would probably go along with it too, and then Wonwoo and Soonyoung have ended up with a dog and that’s just far too much excitement and drama for Seokmin to live with.

 

“To look, but if they need volunteers…” Mingyu trails off and looks at Wonwoo, who just shrugs with a smile, “if they need volunteers we can sign up!”

 

“Of course,” Seokmin says, “of course. Wonwoo, promise me you won’t let him bring any of the dogs home.”

 

“Yeah,” says Wonwoo, probably more enthusiastically than he intended, “no problem there.”

 

“I already said we weren’t going to adopt one,” says Mingyu, “what do you guys think I’m going to do? Steal one?”

 

Seokmin and Wonwoo’s matching looks of guilty affirmation make Mingyu roll his eyes. He stalks over to the front door.

 

“Come on Wonu-hyung,” Mingyu calls, “we need to get moving.”

 

Seokmin’s never particularly sure what going on in Wonwoo’s mind, but right now, he’s pretty sure he could make a good guess. Wonwoo is smiling a soft, barely there smile - so small it’s probably unconscious, and it’s so clear he’s entirely enamoured with Mingyu and would more than likely do anything under the sun for him that having it tattooed to his forehead would hardly change anything. But to be honest, Seokmin can empathise with him.

 

What he can’t empathize with, however, is experiencing the same adoration back and then just _not realising it._

 

“Yea, let’s go,” says Wonwoo after a pause, and Mingyu tilts his head in confusion which makes him look so much like an adorable puppy that Seokmin is surprised Wonwoo isn’t over there squishing Mingyu’s cheeks into oblivion.

 

“Oh, are you guys going out?” says Soonyoung as he comes into the hall.

 

“Yeah, we’re going to volunteer at an abandoned puppy centre,” Mingyu says excitedly.

 

“Ah, have fun,” Soonyoung laughs, “and see if you can bring one back!”

 

“Can we?”

 

“No,” says Seokmin, because he feels like the only person who will. He’s not used to being responsible, damn it, he’s not good at this.

 

“Aw, please,” Mingyu pouts and Wonwoo shakes his head robotically.

 

“Let’s go Mingyu,” Wonwoo says abruptly and grabs Mingyu’s wrist, pulling him out the door.

 

Seokmin and Soonyoung hear a faint goodbye from Mingyu as he’s dragged down the hall and laugh.

 

“Wonwoo doesn’t even like dogs!” giggles Soonyoung, shaking his head, “he’s deadly afraid of them.”

 

“If they don’t get married, I’m suing,” says Seokmin and Soonyoung hums his agreement.

 

“You’ll have to wait for gay marriage to be legal in South Korea first, but I fully support that notion.”

 

“I’m glad I have your support Mr. Kwon.”

 

“No problem Mr. Lee, sir.”

 

“Sir.”

 

“Sir.”

 

“Sir.”

 

“Sir.”

 

“Why is this funny?” Seokmin laughs.

 

“I don’t know,” Soonyoung replies, “probably the fucking illuminati or some bullshit.”

 

“What, the illuminati messing with our minds?”

 

“Yeah, why not. It’s either that or aliens.”

 

“My bets are on the aliens,” Seokmin says, “sneaky little fuckers. I don’t trust them, space is too big and they’re too good at hiding.”

 

“To be fair we’re pretty bad at looking.”

 

“Excuse you, I spent all of four minutes looking for them with the telescope I found in my Happy Meal once.”

 

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t know I was dealing with a professional of the field,” Soonyoung smirks.

 

“You should be sorry. I’m a fucking pro.”

 

“Sure, Jan.”

 

“Be quiet you heathen,” Seokmin laughs, “don’t meme at me like that.”

 

“How ‘bout I do….anyway,” Soonyoung sings back.

 

“I love that video!” Seokmin almost shouts, “it’s a masterpiece.”

 

“I’m going to name my first born ‘History of Japan’ in its honour.”

 

“Poor kid,” Seokmin replies, trying not to think about Soonyoung with kids, “I’ll steal it.”

 

“You can’t steal a child.”

 

“You wouldn’t steal a car,” says Seokmin in English, as seriously as he can.

 

“Get out,” Soonyoung laughs, “you’re the worse.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Fuck you, Han Solo.”

 

“Please don’t.”

 

“It wasn’t an offer, you fuck.”

 

“I feel like you vocabulary is deteriorating,” smiles Seokmin

 

“Yeah, and it’s your fucking fault!” laughs Soonyoung.

 

“Don’t worry I have to go soon,” Seokmin says soberly.

 

“Oh, right,” replies Soonyoung, a little disorientated from the change in conversation, “of course.”

 

“Though, thank you so much,” Seokmin grins, sliding on his coat, “for everything. I’ve had a really great time.”

 

“It was no trouble,” Soonyoung shrugs with a bashful smile, “I’m glad you came.”

 

“Me too, even if I did burn myself.”

 

“Yeah, make sure to look after that.”

 

“Sure, sure, mum, yeah.”

 

“You’re my best friend,” Soonyoung blurts out, completely out of nowhere and Seokmin’s heart is thumping so loudly in his chest that Soonyoung can probably hear it.

 

“You’re my best friend too,” Seokmin replies, while trying not to crumble inside because he feels like he’s deceived Soonyoung and the sticky sensation of guilt is so gross that it’s eating away at his happiness.

 

Best friends. He feels practically sublime. He feels physically sick.

 

Seokmin’s about to open the door and enter the real world when Soonyoung rushes across the hall and near throws himself at Seokmin. Holding him tight, Seokmin says nothing. He has no clue what has caused Soonyoung’s mood to change so rapidly, and he desperately wants to know. There’s a melancholy to Soonyoung now and Seokmin promises himself that he’ll find out one day. But not right now. Right now, he’s content with holding Soonyoung and pretending that it means what he wants it to.

 

“You okay?” Seokmin murmurs softly in Soonyoung ear. Soonyoung nods in reply and releases Seokmin, smiling reassuringly at Seokmin’s concerned look.

 

“Yeah, I’m good,” Soonyoung says, smoothing down Seokmin’s sleeves, “you better get going.”

 

“Yeah. I don’t want to though.” At this Soonyoung smiles and shakes his head.

 

“See you soon, Seokmin.”

 

“See you soon, Soonyoung,” Seokmin echoes, and sucks in a short breath before planting a courageous kiss to Soonyoung’s forehead, “see you soon, best friend.”

 

Seokmin has to turn away then and there, not stopping to see Soonyoung’s expression, knowing he might be tempted to kiss him again. As Seokmin walks away he doesn’t look back, not sure if he’s more afraid of seeing something or seeing nothing. Because even though he’s going home, he feels like he’s just left it behind.

 

The next morning begins very differently to the day before, much to Seokmin’s charin. Instead of waking up to soft rain against the window panes and Soonyoung’s limbs sprawled across Seokmin’s body, enveloping him in warmth and happiness (and quite a bit of panic), Seokmin is met with thick, wet fog clinging to the corner of each street, making it even harder to see in the darkness of 6:20 in the morning. And, of course, it’s a Monday. Fucking fantastic.

 

His commute to work may only be a short walk, but it feels like hours before he arrives at the cafe and begins to set up for the day ahead. Seokmin easily settles into routine and the mindless monotony of his activities numbs his brain, something he’s thankful for this early in the morning. Seungkwan will be in soon, full of bright energy which never fails to get Seokmin just as hyped. The troubled is, he never realises till later how much energy he’s been using and then crashes into bed when he needs to work.

 

Still, Seokmin loves working with his best friend. One of his best friends, The one he isn’t in love with. Because that’s fun.

 

When Seungkwan comes in, he finds Seokmin banging his head repeatedly against the Specials of the Day chalkboard.

 

“If you damage that board, I’m telling Jeonghan exactly how it happened so he’ll only dock your pay.”

 

“Love you too, Seungkwan-ah.”

 

“Cool, now stop being an idiot and put your apron on.”

 

Grumbling, Seokmin slopes off to put on his apron and wash his hands, noticing Seungkwan just standing there, texting away on his phone.

 

“Oh, by all means, take your time, don’t rush. In fact down bother with doing your job at all,” Seokmin says earning himself a dirty look from Seungkwan.

 

“Screw you, I was actually texting Jisoo about Jeonghan’s birthday presents, “Seungkwan says, “and I was going to invite you to come with us this afternoon.”

 

“Was?”

 

“Well you started being sassy so…” Seungkwan smirks.

 

“Okay, Mr. Hypocrite, be superior, it’s fine by me,” Seokmin replies. Seungkwan just rolls his eyes.

 

“Fine, do you want to come? You can even invite Soonyoung.” At the mention of Soonyoung’s name, Seokmin blushes.

 

“Yeah, I’d like to, and I’ll ask Soonyoung if he’s interested. What time were you thinking of meeting up?”

 

“Around 6:30, I should think, I’m just finalising with Jisoo.”

 

“I reckon I can do that. Do you have any ideas of what to get Jeonghan?” Seokmin asks, restocking the paper cups by the coffee machine.

 

“Not really,” Seungkwan sighs, “clothes is always a good choice, and Jeonghan would probably love whatever we got him. But he’s been so good to us and I want him to feel special.”

 

“Should we ask Seungcheol-hyung? He might have some ideas,” Seokmin suggests.

 

“Ah, that’s an idea, I’ll text him,” Seungkwan says and he sets to work.

 

Well, not actual work. The usual morning regulars don’t generally get to the cafe for a while, so Seungkwan and Seokmin just have to kill time. Soonyoung won’t get there until much later, Seokmin thinks, so he may as well text him now.

 

(06:47)  hey soonyoung, do you want to come present shopping for jeonghan this evening with seungkwan and jisoo?

 

(06:47) i presume you know jisoo - you probably know my own mother

 

**(06:48) yea, i was sleeping with her last night >:^)**

 

Seokmin tries to stop himself from laughing, but receives a glare from Seungkwan anyway.

 

(06:48) wow you’re just,, so original. Never been seen before. Iconic.

 

**(06:49) thx bae uwu <33**

 

(06:49) I am Offended,,,, I am Disgusted,,,,pls leave my life

 

**(06:49) </3**

 

**(06:50) also heck ye i’ll come shopping with you guys #ladsontour**

 

(06:50) LAADDDDDDSSSS

 

**(06:50) LADS LADS LAAAADDDSSSS**

 

**(06:51) aslo what time and where should I meet you guys??**

 

(06:51) aslo

 

**(06:51) okay i don’t need this from you at this time in the morning ok**

 

(06:51) that’s a lot of okays - are you ok?

 

**(06:51) leaf me alone,,,**

 

(06:52) Calm Down Biff.

 

**(06:52) ,,,,,,,,**

 

**(06:53) I Can’t Believe Lee Seokmin Invented Being a Sci-Fi Nerd.**

 

Seokmin likes Back to the Future, okay. Well maybe more than likes. It means a lot to him. The fact that Soonyoung got his reference does funny things to Seokmin’s heart.

 

(06:53) whos more of a nerd - the nerd or the nerd who follows him

 

**(06:53) ……..touche**

 

**(06:54) can you answer me fuckinn quistines gadddomnit**

 

(06:54) this week on Soonyoung Changes the Subject

 

**(06:54) Seokmin. Don’t make me tell Jeonghan on you.**

 

(06:55) do it motherfucker im jeonghan’s fucking fave im his fucking dandelion

 

**(06:55) um, i think you’ll find chan is jeonghan’s fave :///// sorry sweaty <3**

 

(06:55) you disgust me

 

**(06:56) you Love me**

 

Seokmin feels attacked. This is rude and he didn’t sign up for it.

 

(06:56) In Your Dreams.

 

**(06:56) sounds more like a nightmare :^P**

 

A nightmare that Seokmin happens to be living.

 

**(06:57) dw ily2**

 

(06:57) no homo tho bro

 

**(06:57) no bro tho homo**

 

(06:58) no tho bro homo

 

**(06:58) tho bro homo no**

 

(06:58) bro homo no tho

 

**(06:59) homo no tho bro**

 

**(06:59) o shit waddup**

 

(06:59) ?????

 

**(06:59) as much as i Adore this**

 

**(06:59) i have to go :^((**

 

(07:00) o shit (o shit)

 

(07:00) ok we’re meeting around 6:30 but idk where - i think jisoo and seungkwannie are still deciding so i’ll let you know at some point

 

**(07:00) thank u my angel thank you**

 

**(07:00) bless ur whole life**

 

(07:00) too late im lucifer

 

**(07:01) o shit (o shit)**

 

(07:01) im gone faaaaaall

 

**(07:01) fall (everything)**

 

(07:01) fall (everything)

 

**(07:01) fall (everything)**

 

(07:02) heuteojine

 

**(07:02) fall (everything)**

 

(07:02) fall (everything)

 

**(07:02) fall (everything)**

 

(07:03) heoreojine

 

**(07:03) …….**

 

(07:03) ……..

 

(07:03) we’re not doing suga’s rap are we

 

**(07:03) god no, i am trash but i dont think i could forgive myself if this was the way we lost each other’s respect**

 

**(07:04) nuthing wrong with a bit of bangtan tho**

 

(07:04) tru that

 

**(07:04) okay i have to go for realsies, but i’ll see yu later okay?**

 

(07:04) ah see you soon! Be safe

 

**(07:05) (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧**

 

(07:05) i’ve changed my mind - die in a hole

 

**(07:05) ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ**

 

(07:05) Goodbye Soonyoung.

 

**(07:06) :^)))**

 

(07:06) :^))

 

**(07:06) oxoxoxoxox**

 

With a heavy sigh of pain, Seokmin slides his phone into his pocket. The effect that Soonyoung has on him is so ridiculous  and he loves and hates it at the same time.

 

“Flapjack for your thoughts?”

 

“What?” Seokmin says eloquently as he turns around to find Seungkwan standing there, eyebrow raised and flapjack in hand.

 

“Flapjack for your thoughts - you’ve been looking pained for the last few minutes and I wondered what was up,” Seungkwan shrugs, trying to play down how sweet he’s being.

 

“Ahhh, Seungkwannie,” Seokmin gushes, “you’re so sweet.”

 

“Look, I can eat this flapjack myself I have no problem with that.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Seokmin says, hurriedly, chasing after him and taking the flapjack while Seungkwan smirks smugly, “I’ll tell you.”

 

“Good,” Seungkwan says, a hungry light in his eyes, “spill.”

 

“Well,” Seokmin says, or at least he tries to. The flapjack he’s crammed into his mouth makes it sound more like ‘bwalg’ and Seungkwan looks visibly disgusted.

 

“Don’t speak with your mouthful, you child,” Seungkwan says rolling his eyes and Seokmin gives him an oaty grin, before swallowing.

 

“Well,” he tries again, “I came to a little conclusion yesterday.”

 

“Which was?” Seungkwan prompts.

 

“I am completely and utterly in love with Soonyoung,” Seokmin sighs. It feels weird to say out loud, he expects to feel more tense, knowing that now it’s in the open, but he can only feel a strange floatiness and the sensation of butterflies beating up his internal organs.

 

“Well, duh,” says Seungkwan, “I knew that.” Seokmin sticks his tongue out at him, but Seungkwan ignores it. “Is that all?” Seungkwan says expectantly.

 

“Well yeah, I’m never going to confess to him,” Seokmin says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“Why the hell not?”

 

“Because he’s one of my best friends and I’m not going to ruin our friendship with telling him that. It just won’t be the same ever again.”

 

“So you’re afraid of change.”

 

“No, I’m afraid of rejection.”

 

“Same thing,” Seungkwan shrugs.

 

“Sure, Jan.”

 

“Excuse you,” Seungkwan bites, “have you forgotten the rules?”

 

“No,” Seokmin mutters rolling his eyes.

 

“So what are they?” says Seungkwan expectantly.

 

“No memes in the workplace.”

 

“No memes in the workplace,” smiles Seungkwan triumphantly. They both know it’s bullshit. Seungkwan comes out with just as many memes as Seokmin, but the ‘rule’ is one of their favourite in-jokes as it’s a quote from Mingyu when he was stuck on a shift with both Seungkwan and Seokmin. They were admittedly ruthless with their memes. It was beautiful. It was tragic. It’s one of the reasons Seungkwan is one of Seokmin’s best friends.

 

One that he hasn’t managed to fall head over heals for.

 

“Seungkwan, what am I going to do?” Seokmin groans.

 

“Suffer,” Seungkwan says bluntly, “or confess.”

 

“So suffer or suffer even more.”

 

“And people call me a drama queen.”

 

“You are a drama queen though!”

 

“So are you,” retorts Seungkwan, “look, if you want my advice, just do what feels right. Confess if the moment feels right. Don’t if it doesn’t.”

 

“Okay so I’ll confess never, thanks Seungkwan.”

 

“Seokmin-hyung, listen,” Seungkwan says seriously, “I really do think you aren’t giving yourself or Soonyoung enough credit. I know how you feel, but don’t discount that Soonyoung might feel the same, okay?” Seokmin sighs.

 

“Okay. But if this ruins my life forever, I’ll sue you.” Seungkwan just smirks and returns to the till just in time for the bell to announce the presence of the first customers of the day.

  
Seokmin sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. Do what feels right? What feels right is holding Soonyoung tight and kissing him and telling him every secret Seokmin has ever had. What feels right is everything he shouldn’t do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so im super sorry this took so long and im super thankful for how patient you guys are with me and all the lovely comments you guys leave! they literally make my day. that and the new shinee comeback lmao  
> i would apologise for the gratuitous super junior references but i have fallen in love with leeteuk and i can't get up  
> also im so proud of so many of my children for all of their awards at AAA and MMA!!!! bless this november  
> ALSO please listen to my small sons Victon, they deserve more love and their music is quality, im a fan of what time is it, even though time isnt fukkin real  
> as always, thank you to jess for being a lovely beta <3


	7. Candyfloss

Like most days, the rest of Seokmin’s shift passes by in a blur of coffee, cake, and customers. That is until 10:10. Seokmin has an almost Pavlovian reaction to that time, and now that he’s kind of accepted it, he can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed. Day in, day out, people must see him get steadily more excited until Soonyoung arrives. It’s a surprise the whole of Seoul that passes through the cafe doesn’t know about his crush on his best friend.

 

But instead of thinking about Soonyoung, or at least trying not to, today Seokmin focuses on gift ideas for Jeonghan. Because currently, he has precisely none. Does this mean he’s a bad friend? Probably, but he’s sure he’ll find something. That’s the point of going in a group, Seokmin muses, you can work together. Teamwork makes the dream work.

 

And that’s the most team spirit Seokmin’s had since he left the group project-oriented world of high school.

 

Seokmin wonders what it would be like if he met Soonyoung in high school. With Soonyoung, the dark ages of puberty would certainly be a lot brighter, and while Seokmin enjoyed his life and loved his friends, he can’t help but feel as though that period of his life is tinged with bitterness after the brutal end to the relationship between Seokmin and his ex-boyfriend/best friend. Seokmin wonders that perhaps if it was Soonyoung instead of Minsoo who had been Seokmin’s best friend in high school, would everything have worked out the same, or would Seokmin feel the same way about Soonyoung as he does now. He’ll never know the answer, but he’s very glad he has Seungkwan who he steadfastly isn’t in love with. Platonic relationships are underrated - Seokmin should work on keeping the ones he has instead of falling in love all over the shop. Yeah, right.

 

It’s hard though, Seokmin thinks as he watches Soonyoung walk up to the cafe door, a smile blooming on his face. It’s hard to not be in love with Soonyoung.

 

“Hey hyung,” he says, nerves turning into sound and amplifying his words, leaving Seokmin flushed pink and embarrassed by the looks he gets from various customers from around the shop.

 

“Hey Seokminnie,” Soonyoung replies with ease, “I can’t stay long today, I’m afraid, so I’ll take a cappuccino to go.”

 

“Sure thing, hyung,” Seokmin says, pretending his heart doesn’t sink a little when he hears Soonyoung has to go so quickly. He gets started on Soonyoung’s order, ignoring Seungkwan smirking in his periphery.

 

“Looking forward to our shopping trip later, hyung?” asks Seungkwan, handing the moral high ground over to Seokmin who is actually doing his job, instead of chatting up customers. Not that Seungkwan is chatting up Soonyoung - Seokmin’s seen Seungkwan flirting and it’s truly a force of nature.

 

“Heck yeah, I only have like three rough present ideas,” Soonyoung replies.

 

“Well, at least you’re beating Seokmin-hyung,” Seungkwan smirks, “he has about negative five ideas by now, I should think.” In retaliation, Seokmin delivers a powerful jab matched with a glare to Seungkwan’s side as he hands Soonyoung his coffee.

 

“Here you are, Soonyoung-hyung,” Seokmin says, smiling at Soonyoung like Seungkwan doesn’t exist and isn’t going to pay him back tenfold for that one measly tap that barely constitutes as a hit.

 

“Thanks Minnie,” Soonyoung laughs and Seokmin no longer has to pretend that Seungkwan exists - he practically forgets anyone else in the whole universe does.

 

Soonyoung pays for the coffee, the transaction lasting less time than Seokmin would like and when Soonyoung leaves the cafe with a smile and cheery ‘see you later’ and audible sigh falls from his lips, making Seungkwan snort.

 

“You’re ridiculous,” Seungkwan says, rolling his eyes.

 

“You’re still not dating Hansol,” Seokmin fires back, which shuts Seungkwan up. Well, shuts him up for about half a second, which is something of a record.

 

“That’s completely different. Hansol has never considered that I don’t like him back and it’s arrogant, prideful, and, frankly, rude,” Seungkwan says, “so until he shows some sign of believing I’m not totally enamored by him, I will not be dating Choi Hansol.” There’s a beat of silence.

 

“You do know that’s a bit over the top, right?” Seokmin says, a little bewildered by Seungkwan’s thought process, “and completely detrimental to actually dating him. He just wants to go on a date with you.” Seungkwan makes a dissatisfied humph noise.

 

“I don’t care,” he mutters, “it’s a matter of pride.”

 

“Okay,” replies Seokmin, trying not to laugh at his friend’s petulance, “that sounds fake, but okay.” Seungkwan gives Seokmin a filthy glare before pushing past him to clean up a recently vacated table, looking like an overly angry carebear, as he wields a cloth in his baby pink jumper. Smiling to himself, Seokmin starts wiping down the counter with no intention other than giving his hands something to do. It could be worse, he supposes, the situation with Soonyoung. He could be as stupidly prideful as Seungkwan. Seokmin can’t imagine how much he would hate everything if he himself was the obstacle to his own happiness.

 

It’s only later when Seokmin, Seungkwan and Jisoo are standing at the bus stop they’d arranged to meet Soonyoung at that Seokmin realises that no, he was wrong, so very very wrong, and he would in fact kill to be in Seungkwan’s size 6 leather brogues (even though his feet definitely would not fit) because Hansol is a great person to have a crush on. Hansol is a kind and considerate person towards those crushing on him because Hansol doesn’t dye his hair black in the middle of the day and just expect Seungkwan to cope because he’s nice and somewhat responsible. Unlike Kwon Soonyoung.

 

Because Kwon fucking Soonyoung is fucking rude. Incredibly fucking rude. Because Kwon Soonyoung has decided it’s okay to just show up smiling that terrible smile that makes Seokmin’s heart race and his stomach twist into knots, running his hands through his fucking disrespectful coal black hair that suits him far too much and just makes him look far too sexy for Seokmin’s liking.

 

Seungkwan must feel that Seokmin’s about to run for the fucking hills, because he grabs Seokmin’s arm in a vice-like rip, effectively pinning him to Seungkwan’s side.

 

“Hey Soonyoung,” Jisoo says congenially, apparently unaffected by the visual experience in front of him, which makes Seokmin question if he’s even human because surely every person on earth should be now dying because of Soonyoung’s hair, “I like the hair.”

 

“Thanks,” grins Soonyoung, running a self-conscious hand through his locks which puts Seokmin in physical pain, “I had it done earlier today, so I’m still acclimatising.”

 

“It looks really great,” Seokmin stammers out, making the understatement of the whole goddamn millennium and the winter wind that has been besieging Seokmin in the confines of his thick coat is suddenly washed away by the pure warmth and sunlight that is Soonyoung’s beaming smile.

 

“You think so? I’m glad you like it, I’ve been wanting to go back to black for a while now, and then maybe try something new in the new year,” Soonyoung smiles, taking Seokmin’s arm easily. Swallowing heavily, Seokmin tries not to think about the damage he would receive from Soonyoung changing his hair colour yet again.

 

“New year, new you?” Seokmin asks.

 

“Something like that,” Soonyoung replies, but doesn’t elaborate further, so Seokmin just marvels in silence at his best friend, until Seungkwan completely unsubtly clears his throat, bringing Seokmin back down to earth.

 

“Oh, yeah, we should get started on the shopping.”

 

“Right said, Fred,” Soonyoung replies, as the group begins to make their way down the street, Jisoo in the lead.

 

“Correctly confessed, Jeff,” Seokmin grins back, as Soonyoung shakes his head, laughing.

 

“You tried,” he says, “you failed miserably, but you tried and there’s something to be said for that.”

 

“What is it that’s to be said, then?”

 

“Please don’t ever do it again.”

 

“Hmmm,” Seokmin muses, “what’s in it for me?”

 

“Well, I won’t have to completely disassociate with you for the rest of my life,” Soonyoung smirks playfully in a way that has Seokmin’s insides twisting themselves into a million knots in the best way possible.

 

“Oh no. What a travesty,” says Seokmin flatly, causing Soonyoung to knock into him roughly which sends electric chills through his boy from the point of contact.

 

“Hey, rude,” pouts Soonyoung, trying not to smile.

 

“No, my name’s Seokmin, not ‘rude’.”

 

“Well, it fucking should be when you make jokes like that.”

 

“You love me,” Seokmin teases.

 

“I tolerate you.”

 

“Aw babe, I tolerate you too!”

 

“Really? I’m so happy you feel the same,” Soonyoung gushes, clasping Seokmin’s hand dramatically between both of his own.

 

“Me too,” says Seokmin, “hey Soonyoung, do you want to, perhaps, tolerate each other…. Forever?”

 

“Oh darling, I thought you’d never ask,” Soonyoung says as he plants a loud, messy kiss on Seokmin’s cheek before embracing him tightly. Seungkwan audibly groans, and almost makes to walk of, from what Seokmin can see over Soonyoung’s shoulder.

 

“How about we look in here?” suggests Jisoo, rescuing the situation as he gestures to a clothing store.

 

“Sounds good to me,” says Seungkwan darting inside. Seokmin rolls his eyes, but simultaneously thanks and apologises to Jisoo with a smile, which Jisoo returns with a shake of his head. ‘I understand’, Seokmin takes this to mean, ‘I understand and it’s okay. Don’t mind Seungkwan, he’s an idiot’ - well maybe Seokmin has taken a little liberty there but it doesn’t matter, as long as Seungkwan can’t hear it and come for Seokmin with an overly violent dropkick.

 

“I guess that’s where we’re going then,” grins Soonyoung, oblivious to the silent conversation taking place as they follow in Seungkwan’s wake.

 

“If we were to get Jeonghan clothes,” says Jisoo as the push into the warmth of the shop, “what kind of thing would we buy?”

 

“I don’t know, hyung,” Seokmin shrugs, “what does he like to wear?”

 

“Hmmm, jumpers mainly I think, particularly now it’s getting colder,” Jisoo says, as his eyes travel across the shop.

 

“Ah that’s a good idea,” Soonyoung says, sifting through a pile of shirts aimlessly, “what colours do you think Jeonghan would like?”

 

“Pastels,” Jisoo says, a little loudly, causing both Seokmin and Soonyoung to turn and look at him, “he looks really good in pastels.” There’s an empty pause. “What?” says Jisoo self-consciously, “it’s true.”

 

“To be fair, he’s not wrong,” says Soonyoung, nudging Seokmin slightly, “Jeonghan does look fucking good in pastels.” If Seokmin was a sane man, he probably wouldn’t be turned on by Soonyoung cursing - but simultaneously luckily and unluckily for him, he’s not sane at all.

 

Giving a noncommittal shrug of agreement, Seokmin starts to look at a few jumpers but he isn’t really focusing. A jumper doesn’t feel like the right sort of gift to give Jeonghan, at least from Seokmin. For Jisoo to give a jumper to Jeonghan it’s perfectly okay - the two are incredibly close and more than a little bit in love with each other and Seokmin is waiting on the day Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jisoo organise themselves into a beautiful polyamorous relationship. And Seokmin knows Jisoo has already got several gifts for Jeonghan, Seokmin knows - the shopping trip was probably just Jisoo’s way of making sure that Soonyoung, Seungkwan and Seokmin actually got Jeonghan something on time.

 

Speaking of jumpers, there’s something very familiar about the one Soonyoung is wearing today, but Seokmin can’t put his finger on it.

 

“Psst,” Seokmin hears a hiss like a gas leak only more irritating and sassy, coming from his left, “psst, Seokmin - Seokmin!” With a long suffering sigh, Seokmin turns to see Seungkwan’s head poking out between some heavy winter coats hanging on the rails.

 

“Seungkwan, what the actual fuck,” is Seokmin’s response to the situation. Seungkwan just pulls a face and beckons Seokmin to come closer - or at least that’s what Seokmin thinks Seungkwan is trying to do with the erratic waving of his head.

 

“I think I just saw Jeonghan,” whispers Seungkwan, ignoring Seokmin’s question, “and more importantly, he was with Hansol and Seungcheol.”

 

“Ohoho,” Says Seokmin with a wave of his eyebrows and a smile, “Hansol is more important, eh?”

 

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” replies Seungkwan hotly, “why the hell are they here? If Jeonghan sees what we’re buying that’ll ruin the surprise and birthday surprises are sacred.”

“Okay, okay, calm down, Kwannie,” Seokmin says, “Jeonghan probably hasn’t seen us, and if he does we could just be out shopping for ourselves - he won’t know the truth, it won’t ‘ruin the sacred birthday surprise’ or whatever. You do know some people tell their friends what they want, right? And even pick it with them?”

 

“Not in this household,” Seungkwan says so sternly that Seokmin neglects to inform him that the shop they are in is not, in fact, his house.

 

“Okay mum, chill out.”

 

“Don’t call me that you weirdo, I’m young and beautiful and you’re old and nasty.”

 

“Hey, I’m not the weirdo here - I’m not the grown man hiding in a bunch of coats because he saw his crush.”

 

“I’m not hiding because Hansol is my-,” Seungkwan stops himself, “I’m not hiding because of that. I’m hiding because I don’t want Jeonghan to see us. I know I wouldn’t like to know what my birthday presents were before my birthday, so we should treat Jeonghan in kind.”

 

“But what if Seungcheol and Hansol are picking Jeonghan’s presents with him?” replies Seokmin, “that would make your belief in keeping Jeonghan’s presents as surprises void.”

 

“What Hansol chooses to do is nothing to do with me,” Seungkwan sniffs, “he can ruin the magic of birthdays but I-”

 

“What’s this I hear about the void?” says Soonyoung, making both Seungkwan Seokmin jump in surprise as he comes up behind Seokmin and slings an arm around his waist.

 

“Ah, no, it wasn’t _the_ void, dear, just the concept.”

 

“Oh, what a shame, I do love being consumed by the abyss.”

 

“Tell you what, after we’ve finished shopping, we can go and leap into the void together, how does that sound?”

 

“I cannot imagine anything more wonderful, my dear. There’s no one I would rather exist in a dimensionless rift with.”

 

“Wow, true romance,” Seungkwan says drily, abruptly reminding Seokmin of his presence.

 

“Thank you, I try,” Soonyoung grins, “anyway, Jisoo sent me to find you guys, he’s bought something for Jeonghan, so we’re going to head somewhere else, if that’s okay.”

 

“Sounds good to me,” Seungkwan mutters as he extracts himself from his coat prison. He is almost free, until his foot becomes caught on a sleeve of one of the coats and trips, nearly sending himself headfirst into the floor.

 

“You saw nothing,” Seungkwan hisses as his rights himself, and walks purposefully away.

 

“How insensitive,” Seokmin says, barely louder than a whisper, “I’m blind.”

 

Soonyoung’s incredulous look at Seokmin lasts about 2 and half seconds before he starts to giggle.

 

“That wasn’t even funny,” he laughs.

 

“I know,” Seokmin says, also giggling - which is Soonyoung’s fault because apparently the more Seokmin hears Soonyoung’s laughter, the more contagious it becomes.

 

But now that Seokmin is alone with Soonyoung, he can see Soonyoung’s jumper more clearly - well really he should call it Seokmin’s jumper, because that’s what Soonyong is wearing - the jumper Seokmin left behind at Soonyoung and Wonwoo’s flat. Seokmin feels a layer of electricity under his skin and his pulse picks up so much that Seokmin is surprised Soonyoung can’t hear it. Or perhaps he can, but he’s just being polite and ignoring it. Because he doesn’t feel the same way about Seokmin as Seokmin feels about him and to him a jumper is just a jumper.

 

“Guys, come on!” shouts Seungkwan from the entrance of the shop where he stands with Jisoo, shopping bag in hand, “we’re going to find something to eat.”

 

Lured by the idea of food, Seokmin and Soonyoung make their way back to Jisoo and Seungkwan - until Soonyoung stops dead in his tracks.

 

“Soonyoung-hyung? What’s up? Did you forget something?” Seokmin asks, rapid fire. Soonyoung says nothing, but raises his arm, as if in a trance, to point at a t-shirt in the kids section with Shrek’s smiling face emblazoned across it.

 

“It’s you,” Soonyoung says.

 

“I know,” replies Seokmin, fighting to keep a straight face, “but it’s also…. You.”

 

“What?” gasps Soonyoung, “but… I could never. That’s too much Seokmin - I’m not ready.”

 

“But it’s who you are - you have to accept yourself. Shrek and all.”

 

“But will anyone ever love me again after they know the truth?” Soonyoung sobs.

 

“I will,” Seokmin says, and really he should be a lion tamer or something with the amount of times he’s been putting his heart in danger recently.

 

“Really?” says Soonyoung, looking up at Seokmin through his eyelashes and consequently stopping Seokmin’s heart in the process.

 

“Yep-adoodle-do, for realsies,” Seokmin says, reclaiming his title of King of The Nice Save

 

“My dear sir, I do not believe that’s a real word.”

 

“Well, my dear sir, I think you’ll find I don’t give a fuck.”

 

“Well that’s uncharitable.”

 

“No, that’s Shrek.”

 

“Go away,” Soonyoung laughs.

 

“You go away, you started it,” Seokmin replies, and Soonyoung pushes his shoulder.

 

“No, I was here first ‘cause I was born first so you can go away.”

 

“No, you-”

 

“Oh my god, please stop,” Seungkwan cries when Soonyoung and Seokmin reach the exit where Jisoo and Seungkwan are standing.

 

“Does anyone have any preference for what they want?” Jisoo says.

 

“Not really,” shrugs Soonyoung, “I’ll have anything as long as it’s not too spicy.”

 

“Weakling,” Seokmin smirks.

 

“I know, natural selection is coming for me,” Soonyoung replies, wiping away and invisible tear.

 

“Is there anything you want to have in particular Seokmin-ah?” Jisoo asks, “if not we could go to somewhere like McDonalds or something-”

 

“McDonalds you say?” Seokmin begins, a wicked grin on his face, “If we’re going there, I’ll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.”

 

“I’m not sure if I hate you or love you, you meme loving fuck,” laughs Soonyoung.

 

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and-”

 

“Oh my god, stop,” Soonyoung says grabbing both of Seokmin’s shoulders which sends a jolt through his stomach, “stop it with your goddamn meme copypastas.”

 

“I have the musical version on my phone if you want to listen,” Seokmin grins.

 

“It’s moments like these where I regret being friends with you,” Seungkwan sighs seriously, which only makes Seokmin grin wider.

 

“Hey guys?” Jisoo says softly, “don’t you think we should actually be going to wherever we’re going to get food from?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Soonyoung smiles, “let’s go. Sorry, Jisoo.”

 

“It’s all good, I just don’t want us to run out of time,” Jisoo smiles as they leave the shop.

 

“Hey Jisoo-hyung,” says Seungkwan’s voice from a few steps behind the rest of the group, “do you think Jeonghan-hyung would like a book for his birthday?” Jisoo, Soonyoung and Seokmin all turn to see Seungkwan glaring intently into the window of a bookstore. It’s more than a little scary.

 

“Sure Seungkwan, we can take a look in there, and maybe Seokmin and Soonyoung can go and find us somewhere to eat?” Jisoo says, and he barely has time to see Seokmin and Soonyoung’s nodded replies, before he’s pushed into the shop.

 

“I guess we’re finding somewhere to eat then,” Soonyoung says looking a little shell shocked.

 

“Yeah,” Seokmin says and takes a short, sharp breath before grabbing Soonyoung’s hand, “but Seungkwan’s really indecisive so we probably have a little while before they actually buy something. We could probably get some shopping done now, to save on time, and then find somewhere to eat?”

 

“How prudent of you, Seokmin-ah,” Soonyoung grins, squeezing Seokmin’s hand, “I’m impressed. I don’t have many ideas and, according to Seungkwan, neither do you so why don’t we just walk around for a bit and see if there’s anything that looks Jeonghan-ish.”

 

“I’m not very good at finding Jeonghan-ish things,” Seokmin admits as they begin walking, “I see things that make me think of him, but then I realise that the reason I think of him when I see them is because it’s something he has.”

 

“I feel you buddy-”

 

“Hey man, that’s - that’s a little gay, you know,” Seokmin grins. Soonyoung rolls his eyes.

 

“You’re a little gay.”

 

“Actually, I’m a big gay - I’m bigger than you,” Seokmin smirks as he raises up onto his tiptoes to emphasise his point.

 

“That’s fighting talk, I guess we’ll have to compare properly some day then,” Soonyoung says with a raise of his eyebrow and a lewd wink that has Seokmin blushing once he realises Soonyoung’s meaning, “and anyway, size isn’t all that matters, it’s what you do with it.”

 

“Oh shut up,” Seokmin laughs, a little uncomfortably, “imagine what Jisoo would say if he heard you making dick jokes like that.”

 

“He’d be so disappointed,” Soonyoung replies, “though, nowadays he should be expecting it.”

 

“That’s true, you are an uncouth soul.”

 

“Ha, that’s a lie, I have no soul, where’s your god now, Seokmin?”

 

“Well his name is Barry and he’s a bee-”

 

“Hold the fuck up,” Soonyoung interrupts.

 

“I would if  I could but I can’t find the fuck so I can’t hold it up.”

 

“Well have you checked your pockets?”

 

“Yes, all of them. Twice.”

 

“Even the back ones?”

 

“Even the back ones. I think I’ve lost it.”

 

“You lost it? Aw man, I would give you one, but I’m out of fucks to give.”

 

“Ayyyyy,” grins Seokmin with an accompanying finger gun with his free hand.

 

“Ayyyyy,” Soonyoung replies, with his own finger gun.

 

“Beeeeeeeee,” returns Seokmin with a quirk of his eyebrow.The look in Soonyoung’s eyes is the most serious Seokmin is serious and Seokmin wonders what he might have down, a question on the tip of his tongue before Soonyoung begins to speak.

 

"According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don't care what humans think is impossible,” Soonyoung finishes with undeniable pride hidden in the slight smirk playing around his lips.

 

“I-I wanted to stop you,” Seokmin says, a little confused about the incredibly strong urge to kiss Soonyoung that’s at the forefront of his mind, “but also I didn’t.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Don’t Han Solo me right now, I’m emotional.”

 

“Why? Because of the Bee Movie? Is it your kink?”

 

“If so, will I be shamed?” Seokmin asks with a grin.

 

“Attention everybody,” Soonyoung says loudly.

 

“Hoe, don’t do it.”

 

“Lee Seokmin is turned on by memes, particularly those relating to the Bee Movie. Thank you for your time.”

 

“Oh my god, I hate you,” Seokmin laughs, as a flock of middle aged women pass by, with looks of either disgust or confusion on their face - and in some cases a mix of the two.

 

“Wow, join the club,” Soonyoung smirks, “I’m president but I’ll let you be vice.”

 

“Sweet, are there t-shirts?”

 

“You know it. And every year we do a nude calendar.”

 

“Perhaps we should give that to Jeonghan for his birthday.”

 

“What - of us?”  Soonyoung laughs.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Holy shit, you’re serious and I love it.”

 

“Is that a yes?” Soonyoung nods

 

“I do.”

 

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

 

“Well, you’re a fool,” says Soonyoung imperiously.

 

“Who’s more foolish, the fool or the fool that follows him into making a nude calendar for his friends birthday?”

 

“Touché, bitch, touché.”

 

“Thanks for calling me a bitch because a bitch is a dog, dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are nature, and nature is beautiful,” replies Seokmin with a dramatic hair flip, “so thanks for calling me beautiful.”

 

“Sure, Jan,” is Soonyoung’s reply as he laughs. It’s the same warm bubbly sound that is as familiar to Seokmin as the feeling of the the bottom of his stomach falling out - the same way it feels at the climax of a roller coaster - that accompanies it every time. And every time it feels special and familiar and familiarly special. Because Seokmin never feels as though he’s used to it, but at the same time it feels like something he’s heard his whole life, like a song you always thought existed but only heard for the first time recently.

 

“It’s Mr. Brady to you, son,” Seokmin says, once he’s recovered from the ridiculous spell-boundness that is bound to overcome him at random points during any interaction with Soonyoung he might have.

 

“Sorry dad, wait- Mr. Brady, shit,” Soonyoung replies.

 

“You’re such a disappointment to me son, how can you never get this right?”

 

“Well that just got real,” Soonyoung laughs, “I’m kidding, I have a great relationship with my dad, he’s a true lad.”

 

“A ldad if you will.”

 

“Well, I won’t so,” Soonyoung shrugs with a grin.

 

“Rude. I worked hard on that word.”

 

“You spent less than 0.3 seconds on it.”

 

“That just shows how much of a genius I am. Anyway time isn’t real.”

 

“I’m inclined to agree with you on that - the time not being real thing, not the genius thing, oh lord no.”

 

“Okay, ouch,” Seokmin laughs.

 

“It’s okay Seokminnie - you may not be a genius but I love you anyway.”

 

“Thanks,” replies Seokmin, hoping his blunt answer distracts from his reddening face.

 

“No problem,” Soonyoung says, and Seokmin doesn’t know if the change of subject when he shouts, “oh hey look the Christmas fair is here!” is intentional or not.

 

“The Christmas fair? Isn’t it a little early - it’s still October.”

 

“It’s a travelling fair,” Soonyoung explains, “they have a lot of places to get to before old JC’s birthday party.”

 

“Ah that’s cool,” Seokmin muses, “do you think they’re open yet?”

 

“Hmm I don’t know, let’s look a little closer,” Soonyoung replies, walking closer to the fair, pulling Seokmin with him.

 

As they get closer, Seokmin can see a number of rides covered in clashing coloured spray paint and decked out with an array of lights that, when lit, could probably cause at least partial blindness in any innocent passerby. But much to Soonyoung’s dismay, none of them seem to be operating as of yet.

 

“Ah damnit,” Soonyoung sighs, “it would have been fun to go on the rides.”

 

“We can always come back when they are up and running,” Seokmin reasons, “and look, some of the food stalls are open.” Soonyoung’s eyes follow the direction to which Seokmin is gesturing and sure enough he spies a cart covered in signs advertising hot dogs, popcorn, candyfloss, and , most importantly, the fact that the cart is open and ready for business.

 

“Heck yes, let’s get some food from there!” Soonyoung enthuses excitedly.

 

“I fully support that idea,” Seokmin says, “but I’m not sure Jisoo and Seungkwan would. They might want something a little more nutritious.”

 

“Ah that’s true,” Soonyoung says, biting his lip in a way that is far too cute, “well maybe we can just get a snack and eat with the others properly later?”

 

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Seokmin replies because the chances of Seokmin refusing Soonyoung anything are so low it’s laughable.

 

Still hand in hand, Seokmin and Soonyoung walk over to the food cart, the over sweetened aromas of caramel and candyfloss encapsulating them. Soonyoung inhales deeply and breaths out with a satisfied sigh, smiling as his eyes flutter shut.

 

“Good shit right there, riiiiiiiiiight there,” Soonyoung grins, and Seokmin can’t help but nod in agreement. Then he realises Soonyoung’s eyes are shut and Soonyoung can’t see him or his nodding head.

 

“Accurate meme is accurate,” Seokmin says, blushing slightly in embarrasment, “so what do you want to get?”

 

“Hmm well, if we’re eating later, we probably only want something light, so probably not the hotdogs.”

 

“Maybe the candyfloss then?” Seokmin suggests as he watches the server spin some of the coloured sugar on a stick for a customer in front of them, licking his lips ever so slightly.

 

“My sentiments exactly,” Soonyoung smiles, giving Seokmin’s shoulder a little nudge with his own, “great minds think alike.”

 

“I thought you said I was definitely not a genius so neither are-”

 

“Perhaps I was a little rash in my previous judgement. You, my dear Seokminnie, are the smartest man alive on the planet,” Soonyoung’s smirk broadens a little, “next to hyung that is.” At this, Seokmin just rolls his eyes.

 

“Right, whatever you say hyung,” Seokmin says tonelessly, earning himself a slight bash on the shoulder, “hey, you can dish it but you can’t take it?”

 

“I can do both pretty well actually,” Soonyoung smirks, “in the bedroom that is. Just in case you were confused. I am actually talking about sex.”

 

“Yeah I got that thanks,” Seokmin says, “I am very aware of what sex is thanks.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Heck yeah I am, sex is this thing I shouldn’t have because I could get pregnant and have ten babies.”

 

“Yes, it’s ten babies or none. Then the babies have to fight for survival in the pit,” Soonyoung grins as they approach the cart.

  
“The winner becomes the alpha baby,” Seokmin grins.

 

“Tag yourself, I’m the alpha baby,” says Soonyoung as he looks at the price board, “we’re getting candyfloss right?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll pay,” says Seokmin as he retrieves his wallet, “you order it, hyung.” After giving Seokmin a strange, soft look, Soonyoung does as he suggests and once Seokmin’s paid, they are awarded with one large stick of candyfloss to share between the two.

 

“Where shall we head now?” Soonyoung asks as his stuffs some of the pink sugar into his mouth.

 

“Well, seeing as we’re making Jeonghan the calendar, we only need to figure out a way of making that, and we could also get him some flowers or something,” Seokmin shrugs. Getting Jeonghan flowers is an idea he’s been toying with for a while, and it’s probably his best idea - next to the nude calendar that is.

 

“Flowers sounds good, I think I know where a florist stall is,” Soonyoung says, and begins walking in what Seokmin presumes is that direction, “and as for the calendar, I reckon we could get Mingyu to take the photos if we barter enough-”

 

“And by we, you mean me - I’m going to end up owing him like a month of laundry and washing up or something.”

 

“Hey, you win some you lose some,” Soonyoung laughs, “or in this case, I win some, you lose some.”

 

“Ha ha very funny, you’re hilarious.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Good for you,” Seokmin says, “I’m glad you have this enlightenment.”

 

“I know right, it’s very enlightening.”

 

“Holy shit, enlightenment is enlightening? I never would have guessed.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Soonyoung laughs, “I didn’t come here for your sass.”

 

“Well you’re obviously in the wrong place then lol.”

 

“Did you just say ‘lol’?”

 

“Yes - and now you have too! Twinsies!”

 

“Don’t talk to me or my son ever again,” Soonyoung says pulling his hand away from Seokmin’s. Seokmin misses the warmth, but just grins and takes a piece of candyfloss.

 

“Fine, but you don’t get any candyfloss.”

 

“Dammit,”  Soonyoung sighs, slipping his hand back into Seokmin’s, “I knew there was something shifty about you paying. I bet you masterminded this from the beginning just so you could have control, you power-mad candyfloss monster.”

 

“Wow, how did you find out my prostitute name?” Seokmin grins around a mouthful of candyfloss.

 

“I asked google,” Soonyoung laughs, “you little shit, oh my god, you’re the worst.”

 

“Takes one to know one,” Seokmin smiles, “is this the stall you were talking about?”

 

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says, as they stand in front of a small street cart that’s covered in flowers with a surprising amount of life for mid-october, but Seokmin is not a biologist or a botanist or anything like that, so he doesn’t feel as though he has enough jurisdiction to question it. The smell is intoxicating, and when Soonyoung leans down to smell a particular bloom on the cart, Seokmin doesn’t think he’s seen anything more beautiful in his life.

 

“What kind of flowers do you think Jeonghan would like?” Seokmin asks, “I was thinking sunflowers.”

 

“Sunflowers sound good to me, they remind me of you,” Soonyoung smiles, and damn Seokmin was trying not to blush so much today, but Soonyoung obviously hasn’t got the memo, “but you might want to reserve some and pick them up.”

 

“Oh that’s a good idea,” Seokmin smiles, a little surprised, “when did you become such a flower-buying aficionado?”

 

“I used to buy flowers for my ex pretty often before we broke up,” Soonyoung shrugs, and Seokmin’s heart burns in anger as he’s reminded of the despicable worm who decided to break Soonyoung’s heart when Soonyoung was apparently the most caring and lovely boyfriend ever - not that Seokmin is surprised about that last part at all.

 

“Ah right,” replies Seokmin a little awkwardly, “so sunflowers are a good choice then?”

 

“A great choice.”

 

“Alrighty then,” Seokmin says a makes his way up to the woman running the stall, releasing Soonyoung’s hand.

 

After thanking the stall holder with a smile, sunflowers reserved and ready to go on Jeonghan’s birthday, Seokmin looks around to find Soonyoung. He spies him standing at the other end of the cart, picking a flower off the floor.

 

“Hey,” Seokmin says, making Soonyoung jump a little.

 

“Hey yourself,” Soonyoung says in a low voice that has Seokmin swallowing hard. To make matters worse, Soonyoung decided to completely invade Seokmin and comes so close to him their noses are almost touching. Slowly, Soonyoung reaches up his hand, a broad smile on his face, and tucks the fallen flower behind Seokmin’s ear. From Seokmin’s incredibly limited flower knowledge, he guesses it’s a geranium of some sort, but that really doesn’t seem to matter when Soonyoung’s face is so close that Seokmin could probably count each of Soonyoung’s eyelashes. And when Soonyoung speaks it’s in a soft warm voice that Seokmin wants to drown in.

 

“Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?” Soonyoung whispers, extracting a bubble of nervous laughter from Seokmin. When Soonyoung steps away smirking, Seokmin can’t help but feel a little empty.

 

“What the shit,” Seokmin laughs, “why the flower?”

 

“Why not?” Soonyoung shrugs, “yolo and all that.”

 

“You nearly killed me for saying lol and now you’re saying ‘yolo’? This smells like hypocrisy.”

 

“No that’s just the flowers,” Soonyoung grins, squeezing Seokmin’s hand, which has the same effect on his heart as that of a defibrillator, “come on, let’s go and brain storm ideas for the calendar - I’m thinking a meme theme?”

 

“I love you,” Seokmin says, more honestly than he wants to.

 

“I love you too, Seokminnie,” Soonyoung laughs, a teasing lilt to his voice, and although Seokmin is glad Soonyoung took it as a joke, his heart still sinks in his chest.

 

It’s really not Soonyoung’s fault, so Seokmin doesn’t blame him, but Seokmin can’t help but wish for the upteenth time, that things were different in someway. But then, Seokmin muses, if things were different would he still feel the same? He hopes he would, and would definitely bet on it if he wasn’t a broke college student with nothing to bet with.

 

Yet, although it’s painful most of time, Seokmin likes the way things are. He likes this closeness with Soonyoung, and with a bit of time, Seokmin reckons he could learn to live with the pain - not wait it out, but just live it out. Let it be, so to speak. Grow old with Soonyoung as best friends. Watch Soonyoung get married to someone else as best friends.

 

Seokmin feels like crying and laughing at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,,,,, hey lads
> 
> sorry this chapter took so long - exams were a bitch and the i was ill and then christmas :////
> 
> so merry christmas and happy new year!! and happy birthday to taehyung ang joshua for yesterday i cant believe my sons are 22 amazing
> 
> as always thank you to jess for putting up with me and my snapchats at 2 in the morning asking her to read this shit  
> and thank you to all the lovely commenters you literally make my day thank you so much :^)
> 
> again thank u i love u all thank you yes :^))


	8. Hot Chocolate

“-And I feel like we should have one where we take the piss out of couples and their baby photos - you know the one where the husband stand behind the wife and they hand their hands on her belly - we should do that, but with like, a dog,” Soonyoung grins happily, swinging his and Seokmin’s still entwined hands as he speaks far too fast, ideas pouring out of his brain like the world’s most enthusiastic shower. And now Seokmin is thinking about Soonyoung in the shower. Great.

 

“Woah there partner, remember there are only twelve months in the year,” Seokmin smiles, “save some for next time.”

 

“Next time?” Soonyoung asks with a grin.

 

“Sure, why not,” replies Seokmin with more confidence than he actually has, “let’s make a yearly tradition of it.”

 

“Oh my gosh, yes!” Soonyoung shouts, gripping Seokmin’s hand like a python - but a cute python, not a lethal one. “You better promise me, Lee, because I’m holding you to that,” Soonyoung threatens, using his grip on Seokmin’s hand to push himself onto his toes and brace his forehead against Seokmin’s, their lips barely two inches apart. He was wrong, Seokmin decides, Soonyoung is definitely lethal.

 

“Sure,” Seokmin tries to laugh, but it comes out as a soft whisper, with far too much emotion for one little word. That’s Soonyoung’s effect on him, Seokmin guesses. Even the smallest, lightest, most unimportant remarks, seem entrenched with unsaid words and feelings. The worst part is that Seokmin knows he’s the only one who’s affected by every touch and every word.

 

Soonyoung looks like he’s about to say something for a second, but he hesitates, and before Seokmin knows it, Soonyoung has pull away from Seokmin and is back down on the ground. Their hands are still clasped together, but Seokmin feels numb all over, like all his nerves have died after having too much electricity passed through them.

 

Seokmin wants to ask him to say was he was going to, but his tongue feels like lead in his mouth. Soonyoung is just looking at him and he is looking back. Neither of them seem to have a purpose but neither looks away and Seokmin feels so nervous and nothing is even happening. He wants to do something. Run. Kiss Soonyoung. Sue the person who invented crushes. But he stands stock still - they both do - like they’re waiting for something to happen.

 

Something does happen, in the form of Seokmin’s phone ringing.

 

“Have you guys found somewhere for us to eat yet?” Seungkwan asks when Seokmin answers the phone. He hears a faint, long suffering ‘Seungkwan-ah’ coming from Jisoo in the background and cracks a smile.

 

“Ah, no - not yet anyway, Seungkwan.”

 

“Jesus Christ, what have you been doing all this time?” Seungkwan near shouts, his voice so loud that Seokmin has to move his phone away from his ear to preserve his hearing, “no wait, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know about whatever gross, date-y, but not actually on a date stuff you two have been doing, ew gross.”

 

“We’ll find a place soon, yeah? Just start heading towards the memorial fountain - we’re nearby there,” Seokmin says, making mental note to murder Seungkwan later.

 

“Fine, but you guys better have sorted yourselves out by the time we get there. Have you even got any ideas about what you both want to get Jeonghan?”

 

“Eh, we’ve got a few ideas banging about,” Seokmin smirks. He decides not to mention the nude calendar, for two reasons. One, Seungkwan’s reaction when faced with the final, finished ‘piece will be far more impressive if it’s a surprise, and two, he doesn’t need Seungkwan making any comments about Seokmin and Soonyoung being naked together. The concept hasn’t really sunken in soon, the same way an upcoming exam doesn’t seem quite real until the week before and the cramming begins.

 

Okay, so maybe Seokmin doesn’t have the best study habits.

 

“Well that’s better than nothing, I suppose,” Seungkwan sighs, “alright, see you soon.”

 

“See you soon,” replies Seokmin, and followed by a quick, “I love you~” said as cutely as he can. He gets an expected sigh of disgust before Seungkwan hangs up, but seeing as he didn’t get hit in some way, Seokmin considers that a win.

 

“Aw Seokminnie, did you just get rejected,” Soonyoung teases, reaching up to ruffle Seokmin’s hair, “nevermind, there are plenty of fish in the sky.”

 

“Um, sounds fake,” Seokmin laughs, “I reject the whole idea of being in a Relationship TM with Boo Seungkwan.”

 

“I can’t help but feel he’d be offended by that.”

 

“True, but at the end of the day, I reckon he’d agree.”

 

“I know Hansol would,” Soonyoung snickers, “hey, aren’t we supposed to be finding a place to eat?”

 

“Shit, you’re right,” sighs Seokmin, “any ideas?”

 

“Well don’t need anything fancy,” Soonyoung muses, “we’re all broke as it is.”

 

“Too right, bro,” Seokmin sighs, “like I love Seoul, but damn why you do dis.”

 

“Holy fuck,” Soonyoung says, and he looks torn between disgust and amusement, “did you just try to bring a 2010 meme into my house?”

 

“Maybe,” Seokmin grins, “and this isn’t your house.”

 

“It is now, and I’m telling you to get out of it.”

 

“I thought we were going with a meme theme - don’t do me dirty like this babe.”

 

“Yeah - good memes. WHOLESOME memes. Fresh memes. None of your nasty ass weak 2010 bullshit.”

 

“Well excuuuuuuse me, princess.”

 

“That’s not even a meme. You can’t just quote shit at me,” Soonyoung says, looking so adorably unimpressed that Seokmin wants to take a photo in case he never looks that way again.

 

“But you still got it, right?”

 

“Yes, but-” Soonyoung sighs as Seokmin grins, “ugh, whatever, Lee. But this is strike one.”

 

“Duly noted,” Seokmin salutes, only slightly mockingly. Soonyoung rolls his eyes, but takes Seokmin’s hand again, so the totally 100% platonic butterflies in his stomach mollify him completely.

 

“We still haven’t found a place to eat,” Soonyoung frowns, “and I refuse McDonalds on principle now, I just know you’ll meme it up.”

 

“To meme, or not to meme that is the question.”

 

“At God,” Soonyoung announces to the heavens, “why me?”

 

“Hey, you asked for my number, this mess is all on you, my friend.”

 

“If I knew you were such meme trash maybe I would have thought twice.”

 

“Liar, you knew from the moment we met that I was meme trash. I saw it in your eyes,” Seokmin says, swinging their hands back in forth because he’s allowed to pretend that this means more than it does, okay?

 

“And I saw it in yours - it was very romantic,” Soonyoung laughs and Seokmin feels his heart pulled in a thousand different directions. It’s a horrible, uncomfortable feeling and he can feel the shadows of tears sheltering in the corners of his eyes. They won’t fall, but the suggestion of their existence is enough to make Seokmin’s insides feel like they’re being swallowed by a black hole. The worst part is that Soonyoung doesn’t even notice and instead says, “how about there?” as he points across the street.

 

Seokmin nods numbly and lets himself be led towards what looks like a thai food place that he might have been in before with Mingyu but can’t really remember. As they sit, Soonyoung doesn’t let go of Seokmin’s hand, but instead begins to play with it, pulling his digits this way and that. Seokmin gives him a small smile, and when Soonyoung hand slips as he’s pulling on Seokmin’s little finger so that it twists and pain jolts through him, making Soonyoung turn and look at his with an expression of worry on his face and an apology on his lips, Seokmin just smiles again and shrugs before Soonyoung can say a word.

 

Using his free hand, Seokmin texts Seungkwan the name of the place they’re at and receives a string of mostly food-based emojis in return. He smiles and slides his phone back into his pocket, before taking a menu, just to have something that isn’t Soonyoung’s fingers playing with his own to focus on. Seokmin swears he can read, but for some reason, maybe something to do with the strange undecipherable patterns being drawn on the back of his hand, are making all the characters on the page mean about as much to him as that English book that Hansol dared Seungkwan to read when Seungkwan bragged about how good at English he was - so not much at all.

 

“What are you thinking of ordering?” Soonyoung asks with a frankly offensive tilt of his head that makes Seokmin want to flip the goddamn table. He doesn’t - he’s too poor to pay for damages and too socially anxious to dare - but he imagines it and it’s very satisfying.

 

“Uh, I don’t really know, something light probably, my stomach has felt strange all day,” Seokmin replies and has to congratulate himself on pretending the fact he’s fallen in love with his best friend is a stomach ache.

 

“Shit, really? Why didn’t you say something before?” Soonyoung says, frowning in concern - and is he pouting a little? Seokmin wants to die.

 

“It’s really not that bad, I’m not ill or anything,” Seokmin tries to smile, but Soonyoung is now squeezing his hand really tight and all his mental capacity is being used up on that.

 

“Okay, let’s get you a salad or something,” Soonyoung says, surveying the menu with a glare like it was the one that gave Seokmin the stomach ache, “you can’t get ill now - I can’t make a nude calendar on my own, it would be awkward.”

 

“And making one together isn’t?”

 

“Why, Seokminnie,” Soonyoung says with sly smirk, “are you scared of getting naked with me?”

 

“Hyung!” is all Seokmin can exclaim as he lightly punches a laughing Soonyoung in the arm, blushing so hard he thinks he’s losing feeling in his toes through lack of blood flow.

 

And it’s at this moment Seungkwan and Jisoo decide to waltz on into the restaurant like Seokmin isn’t dying a long, painful death.

 

“Hey guys, nice place you picked,” Jisoo smiles as he sits at the table, shrugging off his coat.

 

“Thanks - did you guys get here okay?” Soonyoung asks, like he isn’t sucking Seokmin’s will to live out through the back of his hand and then restoring it in the same second.

 

“Yeah, thanks - god bless Google Maps and my new data plan is all I can say,” replies Seungkwan as he plucks a menu out from the stand in the centre of the table. He spies Soonyoung and Seokmin’s entwined hands and gives Seokmin probably the most subtle quirk of his eyebrow he has ever performed in his whole life. Seokmin gives and almost imperceivable shake of his head and a sad, crooked smile. Seungkwan wrinkles his nose in condolence and then begins to peruse the menu before anyone can notice their silent conversation.

 

When the waiter arrives, Seokmin realises he hasn’t actually made a goddamn decision about anything, and throws himself into a panic. He can barely hear Jisoo and Seungkwan’s replies to the waiters questions - it’s like a dizzying hex of social anxiety has been cast upon him by a very petty and vindictive witch. Seokmin should be picking up the menu and making a dumb split second decision, but he can’t even make his hands do that and instead stares at the curve of Soonyoung’s ear.

 

But then he gets caught. Soonyoung turns - as if in slow motion - to see Seokmin’s terrified ‘rabbit in the headlights’ look and raises an eyebrow in question. Seokmin just shrugs desperately. Soonyoung bites his lip and glances at the menu. The blood in Seokmin’s ears is rushing too loudly for him to hear, but from the movement of Soonyoung’s (really pretty) lips, he can just about guess that Soonyoung has ordered for him.

 

Seokmin really wants to kiss him - he always does, but now especially so. But he’s very aware of how bad of an idea that would be. Ruining his friendship with Soonyoung deserves a private setting at the very least. But there are a lot of unnecessary hormones and adrenaline running around his system right now, so Seokmin just mentally says ‘fuck it’ and brushes his lips gently against Soonyoung’s cheek.

 

It’s quick. Blink and you’ll miss it quick. And Soonyoung doesn’t even react - he doesn’t move at all. He just stares back at Seokmin.  

 

“So what are you guys getting Jeonghan?” Seungkwan asks, taking a sip of his drink.

 

Soonyoung just looks away from Seokmin for a second. Then he looks back and laughs. Seokmin, who feels like he has only just now understood the expression ‘emotional whiplash’, can’t help but laugh too.

 

* * *

 

Later, when Seokmin approaches Mingyu to ask for his help with the calendar, he’s armed with various promises - from taking over laundry duty for the next three months to letting Mingyu have the flat to himself (and Wonwoo) at least once a week, he surprisingly doesn’t need any of them.

 

“Of course you’re making Jeonghan a naked calendar for his birthday,” Mingyu laughs, when Seokmin pitches the idea to him during the ad break of one of their guilty pleasure dramas, “I don’t even know why I’m surprised. Sure, I’ll help - but if you and Soonyoung start getting a little more than friendly while naked, I’m out of there.” Seokmin decides not give Mingyu the satisfaction of reacting to this in any way, but the blush on his cheeks is a dirty Judas of a traitor and Mingyu just laughs again.

 

“Well, thank you for helping anyway,” Seokmin says stiffly. He’s not exactly good at hiding his embarrassment, so he may as well just suffer through it. He does that a lot, nowadays.

 

“Ah, it’s no problem - in fact, it’s a good opportunity for me to do something a little different as a photographer, y’know? But there’s twelve months- what are your ideas?”

 

It’s a good question - one that Seokmin and Soonyoung spent the night after their shopping trip texting about until Soonyoung fell asleep (which didn’t give Seokmin butterflies to think about or remind him of that time he woke up in Soonyoung’s bed with his limbs wrapped around him. No, not at all). Eventually, even though they both loved the meme theme concept, both Soonyoung and Seokmin agreed that the last thing they wanted was to have evidence of their outdated and ugly memery lying about.

 

“It’ll be cringey and embarrassing for us,” Soonyoung explains to Mingyu as they walk up the last few steps to the photography studio the next evening, all three of them laden with crates and boxes, “and we want Jeonghan-hyung to be embarrassed, not us.” Mingyu snorts a laugh.

 

“I doubt either of you would get embarrassed,” says Mingyu, stretching out his back, after finally being able to put down the heavy boxes of props he was carrying, “I don’t think either you get the concept of shame.”

 

“What do you mean? Of course we feel shame,” smirks Seokmin, massaging his biceps after releasing his boxes onto the floor with a bang.

 

“Yeah, now where do we get naked?” Soonyoung asks with a grin. Mingyu closes his eyes and mutters a silent prayer that probably won’t be answered anytime soon, before pointing to a door on the far side of the studio.

 

“If you go through there and go down the corridor to the left, you’ll find the changing rooms,” Mingyu,” Mingyu instructs, “you two are seriously lucky I managed to book a slot for the studio at such short notice - I’m going to be owing some serious favours because of this.”

 

“Ah, Mingyu-ah, we all have to make sacrifices for our art,” Soonyoung says, reaching up to loop an arm around Mingyu’s shoulders and ruffle is hair, “I, personally, must now attend a Wednesday evening book club so that we can use the community centre, and have to go on a blind date with one of my cousin’s co-workers. He’s a firefighter though, so it’s not too bad,” Soonyoung finishes with a lascivious wink that leaves a sour taste in Seokmin’s mouth. He’s vaguely aware of the concept of Soonyoung and dating, but the actual reality of it hadn’t really hit him. Seokmin has literally no right to be jealous or envious or whatever word he wants to put to the ugly, bitter feelings spreading through him. But he does anyway, because that’s how feelings fucking work, he guesses.

 

“Wait, firefighters? Community centres? What do we need those for?” Mingyu asks, “I thought we we we getting it all done here?”

 

“Mingyu, Mingyu, Mingyu,” Soonyoung says, shaking his head, “have you even looked at The List?”

 

“The List?”

 

“The List”. Soonyoung replies.

 

“....no?” Mingyu says, a little afraid.

 

“The list of all the different ‘scenarios’ - for lack of a better word - for each month?” Seokmin chips in, because Soonyoung can bully Mingyu at any time and they have a lot of work to do.

 

“No,” says Mingyu, more confidently this time, “not yet.”

 

With an over dramatic flick of his wrist, Soonyoung pulls the List from his coat pocket, staring Mingyu dead in the eyes. Seokmin think’s it’s supposed to look threatening, and Mingyu does look a little intimidated, but to Seokmin, the scene is adorable and he has to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing.

 

When Soonyoung finally hands Mingyu the list, both Seokmin and Soonyoung monitor his reaction carefully. Mingyu carefully make his was down the page, eyes growing wider with every line - once or twice Seokmin reckons he sees a glimmer of either humor or confusion - and by the end of the page, he’s smiling but it looks bittersweet.

 

“Are you sure we can get all this done?” he says, chewing on his bottom lip a little, “we only have until Friday.”

 

“Time isn’t real, Mingyu,” Seokmin grins, “get the frog masks out and we’ll go and take off our clothes.”

 

Mingyu just rolls is eyes, and the sight of him shaking his head disappears as Seokmin and Soonyoung race out of the room, rolling on a tidal wave of their laughter.

 

“I want that on a t-shirt,” giggles Soonyoung breathlessly, looking like the meaning of the word ‘art’.

 

“Are you sure about that? People might start thinking you’re a furry.”

 

“Oh, shut up,” Soonyoung laughs, batting Seokmin on the arm for his troubles.

 

“Make me,” is Seokmin’s reply, because he hates not only himself, but also the concept of happiness and life itself.

 

“Give me one hot second, and I’ll use my fucking sock as a gag, you twat.”

 

“Sorry, I’m all out of hot seconds, only the cold one are left,” Seokmin smirks, “and also, kinky.”

 

“Go away, I’m never talking to you again.”

 

“Thank god,” Seokmin sighs, in mock relief.

 

“Rude,” pouts Soonyoung, “you can’t treat me like this, I’m your wife of 64 years, show me some damn respect.”

 

“Just go and take your clothes off,” Seokmin laughs.

 

“Why, Seokmin,” Soonyoung smirks, batting his eyelashes, “normally when a guy asks me that, he’s not so upfront, but I definitely like the straightforward approach,” and after trailing his hand down Seokmin’s arm in a way which makes his stomach twist in a horrifically wonderful way, Soonyoung leaves, with Seokmin still reeling in his wake. Somewhere at the back of his mind, a part of Seokmin is making a dumb ‘ha ha straight - unlike me’ joke but he really, really can’t focus right now.

 

Fucking Kwon Soonyoung. Why does he have to be a goddamn Venn diagram of cuteness, funniness and sexiness? It’s downright disrespectful. And Seokmin was never any good at data presentation.

 

But Seokmin has a job to do - he also has to get naked. It’s not something he’s been thinking about too much - he’s been far too focused on organising everything for the calendar in the spare moments he’s had in the last twenty four hours and also Soonyoung - mainly Soonyoung. So as his finger’s make light work of his coat and several jumpers he has on underneath, Seokmin has to ask himself how he actually feels about posing naked for a calendar. He’s not superhumanly confident with his body - it’s more that he’s too tired to think about what other people think about it, let alone himself. While he’s definitely not as healthy as Soonyoung, he runs on a daily basis and doesn’t really have the money to spend on excess food. Overall, Seokmin decides as he takes off his trousers, he’ll live. Bodies are just bodies. Everyone’s got one. They’re all kind of gross, but everyone lives with it, so Seokmin can as well.

 

What Seokmin can’t deal with however, as he stands as naked as the day he was born in the changing rooms of the university photography studio, is the goddamn cold.

 

They might have had the insight to put heating in the place where people get undressed, Seokmin thinks, as he shrugs his coat back on. The texture of the fabric feels weird against his naked skin, but with the plans Soonyoung and he have dreamt up, it probably won’t be the worse sensation he’ll feel throughout the creation of the calendar.

 

“You ready?”

 

Shit. Seokmin hadn’t noticed Soonyoung entering. And now that Soonyoung is here, even though he’s covered by his winter coat, Seokmin feels self conscious.

 

“As I’ll ever be,” Seokmin replies to the floor. He can’t bring himself to look up, not yet. The carpet design is boring as hell, but Seokmin reckons that he could have a good go at staring at it forever.

 

“Seokmin-ah?” Soonyoung asks, and Seokmin can hear him take a step forward, “are you alright?” Fuck.

 

“Never been better,” Seokmin squeaks, keeping his eyes tightly shut until his line of vision is eye level with Soonyoung. According to what Seokmin can tell from the image he’s presented with of Soonyoung’s (beautiful) face and naked shoulders, Soonyoung is completely naked. A blush flares up like a red light on his cheeks.

 

“Sounds fake,” Soonyoung says trying to crack a smile, but his adorable pout of concern remains dominant.

 

“Shut up,” Seokmin laughs. It’s shaky, but it’s real, and he feels a little more relaxed. He must look it too, because the second he feels the tension leave him, it leaves Soonyoung too, and Seokmin is faced with a blinding smile. It’s almost enough to distract Seokmin from the fact that Soonyoung is completely fucking naked.

 

Seokmin isn’t going to be the kind of perverted asshole that’s going to stare at Soonyoung throughout the shoot - but he can’t really get away from the fact that Soonyoung is just there. Naked. Jesus Christ what has his life come to.

 

“Fuck, it’s cold in here,” Soonyoung says with shiver for dramatic effect.

 

“Well, you should have put something on then, idiot,” Seokmin smirks, but to his surprise Soonyoung shakes his head.

 

“Why would I do something like that when I have this?” Soonyoung grins raising a thermos he must have walked in with but Seokmin didn’t see because he’s a decent human being - to eye level.

 

“What’s in there?”

 

“Hot chocolate. I’m better at making it than I am at making coffee and I didn’t really want to be judged by a barista when I’m just Trying My Best.”

 

“Soonyoung,” Seokmin begins. He doesn’t even know what he’s going to say - but Soonyoung is just too damn endearingly thoughtful and Seokmin’s heart hurts, “you’re too damn thoughtful.”

 

“Don’t worry, it’s for me too, I’m a little selfish, you don’t have to start singing my praises yet.” Seokmin just laughs and shakes his head.

 

“Come on, naked calendars won’t make themselves,” Soonyoung grins, gesturing to the door with the thermos.

 

“This is a terrible idea,” Seokmin grins back.

 

“I know - I love it.”

 

“Same.”

 

“I hope we still do this when we’re old,” says Soonyoung wistfully, “like, I hope we’re still being annoying assholes together when we’re like 97 or something.”

 

“Well, who else is going to have us?” Seokmin smiles, “we’re stuck with each other now.”

 

Wordlessly, Soonyoung hooks his little finger round Seokmin’s and squeezes. It feels like a promise and a dare and honestly, Seokmin reckons they should bottle and sell the adrenaline running through him right now, because they would probably be millionaires in no time. He feels deathly afraid and terrified all at once.

 

He squeezes Soonyoung’s little finger back.

 

When they enter the studio, Mingyu has set up most of the props they are using for the November image, and has begun twiddling with his camera.

 

“Are you guys all set?” he asks, “your masks and stuff are still in the box.”

 

“That’s our call, my dear,” Soonyoung grins, “it’s showtime.”

 

Seokmin swallows thickly, but nods. There’s a part of him, the part that still sounds like Hansol, that’s screaming at him just to enjoy himself and have fun and that you only live once. He takes a deep breath. Seokmin is good at enjoying himself. Really fucking good at it. Hedonism is his fucking middle name. He can enjoy anything. And he is going to enjoy this.

 

How he’s going to manage that with Soonyoung being naked and right there and being naked right there - he doesn’t know. But what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

  
Or it makes you wish you were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo,,,, hi?  
> yea sorry about the length of time this update has taken - school is a bitch u know - but its half term so maybe i'll have 9 out soon  
> BUT HOLY SHIT BTS SPRING DAY HOLY SHIT IM DEADD (where were hobi's lines?) BUT HOLY SHIT IM BLESSED  
> thanks to jess as always for being the best beta and thank you for all the lovely comments - they keep me inspired :')  
> thank u for reading and any criticism is always appreciated :^))


	9. Mini Quiches

Seokmin had wanted to be on time. Hell, he had even planned to be early. He had picked up the flowers for Jeonghan in good time. He was all set. He was more than set - he was prepared. More prepared than he had been when he was 6 years old and his uncle bought him a special set of felt-tip pens that he meticulously organised every goddamn day. The universe, however, seemed to disagree.

 

Well, that’s what Seokmin is blaming his fate on as he trudges through the wind and rain, a chill creeping up his neck from the opening in his coat as the muscles in his arm freeze up from holding a bouquet of flowers under his jacket in such an uncomfortable position. At least he brought an umbrella this time, Seokmin thinks bitterly. Of course, it does nothing to help with the wind that flies into his face from underneath the brim of the umbrella, or the rain it carries with it in near horizontal torrents. Seokmin going to fight mother nature and no one can fucking stop him. Either that or the bus company.

 

Because of course the bus he had taken from his apartment to Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s place had to break down and of course his phone battery would be dead to stop him calling for a cab or something. And now - Seokmin thinks as he glances at his watch - yeah, he’s late as fuck. He was supposed to get there for 7 and now it’s nearing 8. Seokmin wishes he’d had the foresight to take Mingyu and Wonwoo up on their offer to drop by and go with him earlier, but he had stupidly refused on the basis that the more time the pair would spend together, the more likely they were to get themselves together and Seokmin would stop having to suffer through watching them both pine needlessly.

 

But he’s nearly there now, Seokmin forces himself to think. Soon he’ll be there and he’ll be warm and dry and there will be food and Soonyoung and alcohol and Soonyoung and Jeonghan’s fairy cakes and Soonyo-

 

Seokmin is a mess and he isn’t even drunk yet.

 

As he raises his hand to knock on the door to Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s apartment, Seokmin can already hear the sounds of music and laughter filtering through the door. He takes a deep breath and shakes his damp hair and finally allows himself to let the tension out of his body. Getting ready for this party has been much more of an emotional rollercoaster than Seokmin anticipated and a part of him wonders if he’s in the right state of mind to fully enjoy the party and feel as though the stress has been paid off. Seokmin feels selfish for thinking it, guiltily so, but he’s been ignoring his emotions a lot recently so one more time won’t really make a difference in the grand scheme of things. And the alcohol will probably get him in the mood regardless. Especially as it’s free.

 

So with that thought in his mind, Seokmin knocks on the goddamn door.

 

“Hey Seokmin-ah,” greets Seungcheol with a grin, “we were wondering where you’d got to, everyone has been texting you, man - is your phone dead or something?”

 

“Yeah, and my bus broke down on the way here,” Seokmin shrugs as he goes inside, “I haven’t really had the best luck today.”

 

“Seokmin-ah!” Seokmin barely has time to register the shout before he nearly falls backwards from the impact of Jeonghan racing at him at high velocity.

 

“Hey Jeonghan-hyung,” Seokmin laughs, “happy birthday! Sorry I’m so late.”

 

“Ah it’s perfectly okay, we were worried about you though,” Jeonghan says as releases Seokmin, before appraising him, “you don’t looked too damaged, so I’ll presume you didn’t get stabbed too much.”

 

“I didn’t, no, but I would like to take my coat off,” Seokmin replies because standing in the doorway with a dripping umbrella in one hand and a bunch of flowers in the other while wearing an old waterproof coat that is at least two sizes too small is really not how he wants to spend his evening.

 

“Of course yeah, you can hang it on the rack,” Jeonghan smiles, “I can take your umbrella if you want.”

 

“That would be great.”

 

“I can get you a drink?” Seungcheol says, slinging an arm around Jeonghan’s shoulders once he’s taken the proffered umbrella.

 

“Even better,” Seokmin grins, shrugging off his coat. He tries to hang it up so that it won’t drip too much onto anyone else's’ but it’s probably in vain. Seokmin just hopes whoever’s coat his drips onto is too drunk to get annoyed with him by the end of the night. Unless it’s Seungkwan - drunk Seungkwan is even more prone to violent attacks than sober Seungkwan.

 

Now that he’s feeling a little drier, Seokmin’s ears hone in on the sounds coming through from behind the door into Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s living room that has been left slightly ajar after the couple’s exit through there, and after toeing his shoes off and placing them gently to the side and putting the flowers on top of the small pile he can see amassing by the bottom of the stairs, he gives himself a last once over and goes into the living room.

 

Immediately, the temperature difference is obvious. Even though Seokmin have been warming up in the hall, it’s nothing in comparison to the living room. Seokmin can feel the cold draining out of his bones and life coming back into his muscles. Give him five minutes, and maybe he’ll be able to pass as a living, if not entirely functioning, human being.

 

“SEOKMINNIE!”

 

Well, there goes that plan.

 

“Seokminnie!” shouts Soonyoung as he attacks Seokmin, pulling him into a vicious hug and spinning the pair of them around, “we thought you were never going to turn up!”

 

“I’m sorry about that,” Seokmin laughs, even though he is’t sure what’s funny or why - he just feels giddy and he’s only been in Soonyoung’s presence for about three seconds, “my bus broke down and the door locked so we had to use the emergency exit and it was a mess.”

 

“So just like you, you mean,” snarks a voice from behind Soonyoung, “Seungcheol asked me to give this to you as he’s going to check on the mini-quiches,” Seungkwan continues, handing Seokmin a drink with a grin, the flush on his cheeks and the glint in his eye telling Seokmin that he’s probably already on his third glass of whatever heavily spiked concoction he’s convinced Jeonghan to let him throw into a glass this time.

 

“Thanks,” smiles Seokmin, accepting the glass as he releases himself from Soonyoung’s grip. Or at least he tries to - Soonyoung seems to have other ideas, such as shifting to stand beside Seokmin, with one arm slung around his waist, so that their sides are pulled flush together and Seokmin can feel the heat of Soonyoung’s body radiating into him through his shirt that now seems a lot thinner than when he put it on earlier. Seokmin swallows hard.

 

“No problem,” Seungkwan smirks, knowing the pain that Seokmin is going through and not lifting a finger to stop it - in fact he only smiles even more wolfishly when Seokmin moves to slide his arm very, very casually over Soonyoung’s very casual shoulders in a very casual way, “you guys want in on Drunk Uno? We’re just about to start.”

 

“Drunk Uno?” Soonyoung grins, “I don’t think I’ve ever played.”

 

“It’s like normal Uno, but with shots involved every time you draw or have to pick up or get blocked or anything,” Seokmin explains, trying to ignore the close proximity between Soonyoung’s face and his own, which is particularly mammoth task when he has Soonyoung’s gaze completely locked on his own, making his mouth feel numb and the words coming out of it seem like sticky molasses falling too slowly over a waterfall made for less viscous fluids.

 

So what if Seokmin gets creative when he’s scared out of his freaking mind.

 

“Any excuse we can find to drink really,” Seungkwan interjects and Seokmin nods grimly. Some of his, Seungkwan’s, and Mingyu’s worst hangovers have all come from previous Drunk Uno games played far too late at night with incredibly cheap, incredibly strong alcohol, in incredibly large quantities.

 

“Sounds good,” says innocent, innocent Soonyoung, “let’s play.”

 

“Sure, it’s been awhile since I’ve played, it’ll be good to see if I can still crush you guys into dust,” Seokmin grins because he’s not good at saying ‘no’ to things he wants - Soonyoung or alcohol.

 

“Whatever you say Lee - just know that Wonwoo’s playing this time, and he’s got the tolerance of an ox,” advises Seungkwan with a sip of his drink.

 

“Ah, but that’s his alcohol tolerance - what’s his Mingyu tolerance like?” Seokmin smirks, feeling a bubble of pride when Soonyoung laughs next to him.

 

“Probably negative,” Seungkwan admits with a grimace.

 

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Soonyoung smirks, “I saw him refuse to pass Mingyu the popcorn immediately once - he took a handful himself first and everything. He really showed his strength there.”

 

“I’m so proud of him,” Seokmin laughs, shepherding Seungkwan and Soonyoung closer to the table where he can see Jihoon shuffling cards next to a disgruntled looking Chan, “I’d be prouder of him still if he confessed or something. I’m losing years of my life on this, waiting on them to fucking kiss or something.”

 

“Who’s confessing?” Chan asks, turning to face the trio as they approach the table.

 

“No one, Chan, don’t worry about it,” Seungkwan sooths as he sits down next to Jisoo, who seems entirely distracted by whatever is going on behind him in the kitchen.

 

“Too right, no one’s confessing - that’s the damn problem,” Soonyoung mutters to Seokmin, who laughs, even though the very mention of confessing has his stomach forming knots - nooses to be precise.

 

“You guys playing too?” asks Jihoon as they sit down in the growing circle between Junhui and Mingyu, the latter of which delivers Soonyoung a high five which tells Seokmin that his flatmate has only started drinking - when Mingyu gets really drunk, he’s weepy, and floppy, and basically an over tired two year old instead of just a two year old, like he is most of the time.

 

“Yeah, please,” Soonyoung grins, stretching out his leg to kick Chan and ask him, “why the long face, Mickey?”

 

“I told you to stop calling me that,” scowls Chan, making him look even younger than usual, “and it’s because we’re playing Drunk Uno, but they’ve given me apple juice.”

 

“No, it’s a virgin appletini,” replies Jeonghan as he joins the circle, sitting down with a bowl full of pretzels which Mingyu immediately takes a handful of.

 

“Yeah. Apple juice,” Chan reiterates with a sigh.

 

“Well, we were out of orange juice,” says Seungcheol, coming to sit between his boyfriend and Jisoo and taking both of their hands. Jisoo looks like he wants to protest, and opens his mouth to do so, but Jeonghan just climbs over Seungcheol’s lap and presses a kiss to his cheek, which sends Jisoo into spluttering and blushing mess, before a soft, shy smile appears on his face. And behind the happiness he feels for his friend, Seokmin feels the twisting vines of envy creeping around his gut and he hates it. He hates how he can’t look at their relationship without wishing he had a fraction of that romantic perfection with Soonyoung. It’s not fair that Jisoo finds two people that love and care for him romantically, while Seokmin can’t even get a single one. Not that Seokmin wants to be in a relationship with Jeonghan or Seungcheol - he’s quite happy observing his friends’ bliss from afar. He’s the only one who seems to be paying them the slightest bit of attention anyway - everyone else is focused on Jihoon who’s just finished dealing the cards.

 

“Well seeing as there are far, far too many people playing this fucking game, I’ve dealt you guys four sets of cards so separate into teams of, like, three threes and a four and shit, and then we’ll start,” Jihoon announces over the rumbling chatter.

 

“I call dibs on Hansol and Wonwoo,” Seungkwan calls, grabbing the two named parties sitting next to him by the sleeve, and yanking them toward him.

 

“Question,” shouts Junhui over the noise of the room, “when we have to take a shot when we draw four or whatever, does the whole team have to take four shots or is it just one person, or can we spread the shots over the team?”

 

“Let’s go with everyone has to do all the shots, or at least take a drink,” Jihoon suggests.

 

“Yeah, we don’t have enough shot glasses for that, so just take a sip whenever you gotta,” Seungcheol agrees.

 

“Well, if I hadn’t been given all the shot glasses in the goddamn house and  if you guys hadn’t filled them with apple juice, maybe there would have been enough shot glasses for everyone to have one and refill it every time they needed to take more than one, there would have been enough,” Chan near-shouts, guesting violently at the army of what Seokmin estimates is a mix of about 20 plastic, glass and even a couple ceramic shot glasses, all filled with apple juice.

 

“Nah, I think we’re good,” grins Soonyoung.

 

“Yeah, you keep ’em.”

 

“I’m alright with my drink.”

 

“Yeah, same.”

 

“No point wasting all those virgin appletinis now.”

 

“I’m fine with having a cheeky sip now and again.”

 

“So it’s agreed?” Seungcheol says finally, over the laughter at Chan’s misery, “Chan has the shot glasses and everyone else is all good with taking a sip instead of a shot.”

 

“Take a fucking sip, babes,” Soonyoung grins, making Seokmin laugh so hard he nearly spills his whole drink on the floor.

 

“What’s so funny?” asks a confused Mingyu.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” replies Minghao, next to him, “it’s probably a fucking meme.”

 

“Mayybe,” drawls Soonyoung, taking a fucking sip.

 

“Don’t you mean…. memeby,” Seokmin grins

 

“Okay, both of you can shut the fuck up right now, or I’m kicking you from the game,” Jihoon says flatly, sliding his, Chan’s and Junhui’s cards towards them.

 

“Fucking the up shut right now,” Seokmin grins, miming zipping his mouth shut.

 

“No, stupid,” laughs Soonyoung hitting Seokmin lightly on the thigh, “ we’re upping the shut fuck right now.”

 

“I want to move teams - can I please move teams? I don’t want to put up with this bullshit,” pleads Minghao, trying to shuffle towards Jisoo, Seungcheol and Jeonghan.

 

“No, you can’t leave me here alone!” whines Mingyu, wrapping his overly long limbs around Minghao like a drunken octopus, “I don’t want to put up with their stupid memes on my own - you have to suffer with me.”

 

“Yeah, Minghao-hyung, I don’t think its right to leave Mingyu on his own to the mercy of those two - just sabotage yourselves so you can get as drunk as possible,” Hansol says, peering over Seungkwan’s shoulder with Wonwoo to look at their cards.

 

“What have we done wrong?” Soonyoung says, with mock sadness in his voice, “we are pariahs in our own community.”

 

“We are forcibly removed from society,” Seokmin grins, “also, nice use of pariah there.”

 

“Thanks babe,” Soonyoung winks, “also, nice use of the forcibly removed from the premises meme.”

 

“Thanks babe,” Seokmin replies, because he hates himself, “also, nice use of my ‘also, nice use of’ phrase.”

 

“Thanks babe,” Soonyoung laughs, leaning his head onto Seokmin’s shoulder which makes Seokmin like he’s died and ascended to heaven, “also, nice use of my ‘thanks babe’ phrase.”

 

“Thanks babe,” Seokmin begins, strugling to breath because of laughing so much, but also because with every breath he inhales the addictive scent of Soonyoung’s shampoo - it’s different to usual though, muskier, with a hint of cocoa and Seokmin thinks it’s beautiful, “also nice use of my ‘nice use of my phrase’ phrase.”

 

“Thanks ba-”

 

“Guys,” Minghao interrupts, “it’s our turn, and Junhui just put down a draw four.”

 

“Shit - we take four shots then right?”

 

“Yep - bottoms up, bitches,” Minghao says before downing half of his - well it’s clear, so it’s probably vodka or soju, knowing Minghao, and Seokmin winces for him.

 

“I want that on a t-shirt,” Soonyoung says, before following Minghao’s lead and raising his glass of a very dark, probably very alcoholic liquid to his lips - lips that Seokmin is probably staring at far too much.

 

“Let’s get a matching pair,” Seokmin says, pulling his gaze away from Soonyoung’s alcohol-slick lips as he takes a sip of whatever the concoction is that Seungcheol has allowed Seungkwan to give him. It’s not too bad - Seokmin has definitely, definitely had worse - but he’s not sure what it tastes like - mainly alcohol and lemons, he thinks dimly, but that’s not really a very precise taste footprint for whatever it is that he’s putting into his body. But whatever it is, it probably has enough alcohol to make him forget to fixate on whatever Soonyoung is doing at any given second and allow him to enjoy the party free of the burden of unrequited love.

 

“I can’t believe we got a draw four on the first goddamn round,” Mingyu says.

 

“Well we didn’t have any greens to put down so we had to,” Chan says, which results in Jihoon and Junhui berating him for giving out top secret information.

 

“This is the problem with teams,” Seungkwan says, “artistic differences and leaked information - it’s a civil war waiting to happen.”

 

“What do you mean ‘artistic differences’? What the fuck is artistic about fucking Uno?” scoffs Hansol, playing a yellow draw two card on top of Jeonghan's yellow 5.

 

“This,” Junhui declare, putting down a second yellow draw two card to resounding gasps from the audience.

 

“Daaaamn,” Mingyu whistles, “we got a proper stack going.”

 

“I’ll be even more of a stack if we do,” Soonyoung pauses to find the right card from their pile, and places down a blue draw two card with a flourish, “this.”

 

“Oh man, we better have a fucking draw two guys,” Seungcheol says to Jisoo and Jeonghan, “I don’t want to stop this stack.”

 

“Good thing we do then,” grins Jisoo, playing down a fourth draw two card in red.

 

“Fucking hell, we’re on eight, the poor suckers who get this are gonna suffer,” Hansol says, disbelief written on his face.

 

“If we don’t have a draw two that might be us,” Wonwoo warns.

 

“The day is saved, however,” Seungkwan grins, “because we do,” he says with gusto as he places down a green two card.

“Christ almighty, Seungkwan, how much have you had to drink?” yelps Hansol.

 

“That’s not a draw two, it’s just a regular two you marvellous twat,” Mingyu laughs.

 

“Can I have that on a t-shirt too?” Soonyoung mumbles to Seokmin, grinning so that his flushed hamster-like cheeks are prominent and more adorable than ever, and Seokmin has to remind himself that pinching your friend’s cheeks for no reason other than how adorable he is, is not exactly socially acceptable.

 

“Come on guys, eight shots each - that equates to all three of you finishing your drinks and having another full one I think, but I don’t really know,” says Jihoon, with a frown on his face, “how many milliliters are there in a shot?”

 

“I’ll google it,” volunteers Jisoo, “we can’t be the only people asking for the volume of eight shots.”

 

“In the meantime, though, you guys should pick up your eight cards,” Seungcheol reminds them, “this is still Uno, guys.”

 

“Fine - fuck, Seungkwan this is your fault - I thought you said you’d played this before,” Hansol grumbles, taking eight cards from the pile in the centre of the circle to add them to their hand.

 

“It is NOT my fault, the cards look similar, okay, and-”

 

“Guys, guys, you can argue about this later, Jisoo’s got something,” Jeonghan interrupts, silencing the arguing not-couple.

 

“Yeah, apparently one shot is about twenty five millilitres, so eight shots is, what, two hundred?” Jisoo says, asking for confirmation

 

“That sounds right to me,” Seokmin agrees, grabbing a handful of pretzels from the bowl in front of Jeonghan. He hasn’t actually done the maths, but he reckons that any confirmation will suffice to get the game moving - normal Uno can take hours and drunken Uno? Takes a fucking yeah and there is rarely a winner as everyone generally gets too drunk to continue after a while.

 

“Two hundred millilitres of alcohol? Jesus, okay - how about we eat first, before we get really plastered?” Seungcheol suggests, obviously thinking the same thoughts as Seokmin, “we can continue, but if we eat now then the game might last a little longer without us getting too drunk.”

 

“That sounds like a good plan,” agrees Jeonghan, using Seungcheol’s shoulder as leverage to pull himself to his feet, “the quiches should be done by now, as well - the food is set up in the kitchen but there are plates so we can bring it through here - but watch out for Chan’s shots!”

 

“Yeah, we don’t want to spill any of your appletinis,” Seungkwan smirks as he and the rest of his team stand, and follow Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and Jisoo into the kitchen.

 

“They’re virgin appletinis actually,” Chan sulks as Junhui throws an arm around his shoulders.

 

“Hey! You called them appletinis - guys, Chan called them appletinis,” shouts Junhui, triggering a cacophony of cheers and laughter from across the room.

 

And then Seokmin has a lapful of Soonyoung.

 

“Uhhh,” is all he can say really - too much of his mind is being absorbed by the sensation of the warmth of Soonyoung’s thighs straddling his own, and Soonyoung’s beautiful, flushed face being mere centimeters from his own.

 

“Sorry,” Soonyoung says, too soft, too hushed to be acceptable as simply friendly when anything thicker than Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in paperback form couldn’t fit between their faces, “help me up?”

 

“Sure,” Seokmin breathes out, unsure if he can do anything beyond the monosyllabic, and allows himself to watch Soonyoung’s bashful smile as he braces his hands on Seokmin’s shoulders to bring himself to his feet. Once he’s stood, he offers his own hand to Seokmin, which Seokmin takes like a dying man in a desert who’s found an oasis.

 

“Come on, you soppy twits, the cake is coming out soon, so get some food while you still can,” shouts Junhui from the doorway in the kitchen. Seokmin and Soonyoung are the only ones left in the living room now, and as the noise has slightly died away, Seokmin can hear the crisp sound of rain hitting the adjacent conservatory. It’s a pretty sound - almost as pretty as the way the orange light of the sitting room is haloing Soonyoung’s face, making him look even more ethereal. They’re stood about half a step away from one another now, and Seokmin can’t decide whether he wants to stay here permanently and become a fixture in Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s living room, or run away, change his name to Barnaby Gomez, and move to Brazil where he can live in a cave with seven goats.

 

“We should go and get some food,” Seokmin says, sounding slightly strangled and not moving an inch, eyes locked on Soonyoung’s.

 

“Yeah,” is Soonyoung’s equally breathy reply. He doesn’t move either, the look in his eye strangely expectant and Seokmin has never been more confused. Time seems to ooze by, but then that always seems to happen when Seokmin’s in a five meter radius of Soonyoung - reality becomes lighter around him and something inside him becomes heavier, holding him in place. He feels full, like he can feel each part of his body existing with more vitality and urgency, as if something other than blood is running through his veins that makes every inch of his skin feel raw, but bubbles in his chest like hope, but stronger.

 

“GUYS!” Jihoon shouts, pulling the plug on Seokmin’s internal monologue, “we’re about to do the fucking cake, so get the fuck over here ‘cause it’s in the shape of a caterpillar.”

 

“You had me at caterpillar,” Soonyoung grins at Jihoon, pulling out of Seokmin’s orbit and breaking the spell like a smashed cream cracker. Maybe Seokmin should have got some food.

 

“That was the last word I said,” Jihoon says flatly, but Soonyoung just laughs and throws an arm around Jihoon’s shoulders, which has the fun, bonus effect of serving Seokmin with a sharp kick to the stomach - or at least that’s what the sharp, ugly sensation in the pit of his stomach feels like. It’s jealousy and Seokmin hates it, but he can’t help but feel it like a corroding wind, deteriorating his heart from the inside out. Unrequited love is a goddamn bitch - and the worst part is Seokmin has no one to blame but himself.

 

The soles of Seokmin’s shoes feel like lead as he follows Jihoon and Soonyoung into the kitchen, watching Soonyoung’s fingers dance through Jihoon’s blonde hair, which rewards him with a scowl from Jihoon, prompting a blown kiss from Soonyoung. Seokmin averts his eyes and goes to stand by Wonwoo, who gives him a small smile, which Seokmin tries and fails to return with any ounce of authenticity.

 

“You can probably still grab some food now, I think Seungcheol and Chan are struggling with candles and are refusing to let anyone else help,” Wonwoo says, offering him a paper plate which Seokmin gladly takes, and begins to load up with pizza, salad and mini quiches.

 

“Thanks,” he says, “do you know what you’re going to drink for your eight shots?” Wonwoo shrugs.

 

“It doesn’t really matter to me,” he admits, “my alcohol tolerance is pretty high. I’m more worried about Seungkwan and Hansol - I haven’t really played Uno that much so I’m not the most familiar with it - and Seungkwan said something about zeros and sevens? So I’m pretty confused.”

 

“Ah, the zeros and sevens rules allow you to swap hands with another player - or in this case team. A seven allows you to-”

 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,” booms Mingyu, squeezing between Seokmin and Wonwoo, alerting them to Seungcheol and Chan bringing the cake through from the the door at the end of the kitchen, into the now darkened room. There are so many candles on it that it should be considered a fire hazard, and Seokmin thinks he can see Minghao inching towards the kitchen sink with a bowl, but Jeonghan is grinning widely anyway, and seems to be squeezing Jisoo’s hand so much it looks painful, so Seokmin decides to just throw himself into singing along with the others.

 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR JEONGHAN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!” they finish, and with a short exhale, Jeonghan plunges the room into darkness.

 

“Lights!” Seungcheol shouts, “can someone get the lights please guys!”

 

“I’ve got it,” Seokmin replies, and he stumbles over to the wall behind him, where he knows the switch is. It takes a bit of grasping randomly at the wall, but eventually he finds the switch and the lights come on again.

 

“Wonwoo-hyung? Are you alright?” asks Seungkwan, “you look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

 

“Yeah, I’m good,” he replies - but he doesn’t look it. Wonwoo’s face is picture of mixed shock and surprise, but his eyes are unreadable. He’s staring directly at the back of Mingyu’s head with such intensity that Seokmin is surprised Mingyu can’t feel his skull caving in. But Mingyu seems to be completely unbothered, absorbed entirely by trying to pull a piece of incredibly cheesy pizza apart from another and the air feels tense around them. Seokmin makes a mental note to ask Mingyu about it later and, shuffles tentatively away from the thickening atmosphere, while shoving a whole mini quiche into his mouth.

 

“While we’re all in one place, and relatively sober,” Jisoo says, “why don’t we do presents now?”

 

“Nice call, Jisoo,” Seungcheol grins, sliding his arm around Jisoo’s waist, making him smile bashfully at the touch, “I was just about to suggest that myself.”

 

“Shit, okay, I’ll go and get them,” says Jihoon, extracting himself from Soonyoung’s grip - but he pauses, “wait, Soonyoung-hyung, what did you get Jeonghan-hyung?”

  
Across the room, Soonyoung meets Seokmin’s eyes and the pair of them just start laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,,,,,hi
> 
> yea, sorry about this taking me like 2 fucking months lmao i've had mocks and a play and shit :// and ive got my real exams soon too, so i can't really promise anything other than i will complete this, you just might have to bear with me - i have a plan and everything, it just might be a little slow going until the summer lol
> 
> as for the chapter i hope its not too british if that makes sense - and also im not that much of a drinker as im like 16 lol, so forgive me if there are any weirdnesses
> 
> please hmu if you have any advice/ criticism - i always love to hear it and any comments at all inspire me to write really because i am an attention whore :^))
> 
> as always thank u for reading and thank u to jess for being my lovely beta xx


	10. Birthday Cake

“Guys, what’s so funny?” Jihoon asks, folding his arms across his chest, making Seokmin and Soonyoung only laugh harder.

 

“Ignore them, Jihoon-hyung,” Chan says with an air of superiority as he sips a shot of apple juice between bites of chocolate birthday cake, “they make themselves laugh far too easily.”

 

“No, no it’s not that,” Soonyoung laughs, “well, maybe it’s sort of that, but you’ll see, just wait.”

 

“Fine, have it your way,” Jihoon says, pursing his lips, the teasing glint in his eye locked on Soonyoung, as he brushes past him, leaving Soonyoung smirking and Seokmin’s heart sinking like a stone in his wake.

 

“Ooh there’s pizza?” Soonyoung says, his face lighting up when he catches sight of Seokmin’s plate, “sign me the fuck up.”

 

“Take your soggy memes and leave,” Seokmin smiles as he watches Soonyoung walk towards the food table.

 

“I want that on a t-shirt,” Soonyoung calls back.

 

“One day I’m going to make you all these t-shirts and then you’ll be sorry.” Soonyoung just laughs in a way that gets Seokmin smiling fondly after him despite himself.

 

“You wanna get any gayer?” Seungkwan says in a low voice, smirking as he walks up to stand beside Seokmin.

 

“Shut the fuck up,” Seokmin replies breezily, taking mouthful of his drink as Jihoon returns into the room, arms full of presents, and making a beeline for Soonyoung and Jeonghan, “Let’s go and watch Jeonghan open his presents shall we?” he says louder this time, ignoring Seungkwan’s knowing look.

 

He knows he’s being jealous, but come on, watching the guy he’s fallen in love with flirt with one of his friends is hardly easy. That’s if Soonyoung _is_ flirting - Seokmin reckons Jihoon might be as he’s smirking a lot more than usual, but if he’s being honest, Seokmin has no clue what Soonyoung looks like when he’s flirting and that only serves to remind him of how little he actually knows about Soonyoung in comparison to how besotted he is with him. It makes him feel immature and stupid, like he can’t trust his own emotions and that, out of everything, has to be the worst feeling in the world.

 

So like a mature and sensible person, he mutters a small prayer to whatever gay gods there are out there in the cosmos and downs whatever the fucking alcoholic mess Seungkwan has created for him is in one go.

 

 

“Seokmin- ah,” Junhui says, causing Seokmin to whip round like a frightened goose, “are you alright there?”

 

“Never been better,” Seokmin lies through his teeth. Alcohol isn’t going to solve his problems, he knows this - but it makes them feel less like problems and really, at this point, he’ll take what he can fucking get - and if that’s the 2 litre bottle of gin on the kitchen counter, then so be it.

 

“Uh sure,” Junhui smiles softly, like he knows too much, and Seokmin has the urge to fight him, “maybe slow down, we’ve still got to finish Uno if you want to get drunk, but maybe wait until after Jeonghan’s got his presents and everything.”

 

“Ah yeah, sorry Junhui,” says Seokmin sheepishly, feeling a little hypocritical and selfish. This isn’t about him at all in the slightest and Jeonghan and Soonyoung both deserve better.

 

“S’all good my homefry.” Seokmin gives him a look.

 

“Are you sure you aren’t drunk?”

 

“Nope - just cool.”

 

“You know what, I believe you when you say that,” Seokmin laughs

 

“Oi - Wen, Lee - get your perky butts over here,” shouts Seungkwan, causing both Junhui and Seokmin to laugh bashfully.

 

“You know, Seungkwan, you don’t need to all watch me open my presents, I’m not ten,” Jeonghan says softly as they make their way over to where the others are congregated around Jeonghan, “I really don’t mind if we want to get back to the-”

 

“Birthday magic,” Seungkwan interrupts firmly, “is sacred Jeonghan. Let me have this.”

 

“Don’t even fucking joke about birthday magic with Seungkwan,” Seokmin adds, “this shit is For Real.”

 

“Alright, Birthday magic it is then,” replies an amused Jeonghan.

 

“I’m glad you agree,” says Seungkwan, satisfied, “I’ll go first then, give you hoes something to feel insecure about.”

 

“Seungkwan, I don’t think think birthday gifts are a competition,” says Jisoo with an amused smile.

 

“And if they were I’m pretty sure Seungcheol-hyung and Jisoo-hyung win,” smirks Hansol, earning himself a high five from Seungcheol while Chan is left choking on a grape, Minghao patting his back in the most half hearted attempt Seokmin has ever seen to save someone’s life. Seungkwan scowls.

 

“I said what I said,” Seungkwan says with the air of superiority with which he says everything, and hands a rectangle shaped parcel to Jeonghan with a flourish that leaves the receiver laughing.

 

“Guys, we have to tear him to shreds if it’s shit,” calls out Jihoon with a smirk as he stands a carefully calculate distance from Seungkwan that is close enough that it allows him to be heard with full savage intent, but is too far for Seungkwan to chase after him without flipping a few tables. Besides, Jihoon could probably take Seungkwan anyway - he’s a high-key hardass and a low-key badass and while Seokmin is yet to experience Jihoon’s physical badassery, he can imagine. It’s a real contrast to his seemingly adorable appearance and Seokmin can’t help but wonder if that’s what Soonyoung sees in him and promptly feels himself sinking into an abyss of inadequacy. Fun.

 

“It’s not shit,” Jisoo offers, “he’s right, it’s a really cute present idea.”

 

“Shit, Jisoo, don’t say that,” Jun stage whispers, “you’re just inflating his ego and we don’t need him to go sailing out of the window like Aunt Marge.”

 

“Who’s Aunt Marge?” asks a confused Mingyu.

 

“Mingyu, do me a favor and never touch me again, okay? Thanks,” grins Seokmin.

 

“Wait, Minnie have you never shown Mingyu Harry Potter?” asks Wonwoo incredulously.

 

“Of course I fucking have!” Seokmin replies, “that’s why this is such an insult as well as a disgustment.”

 

“Disgustment?” asks Wonwoo with disgustment.

 

“It’s a word, okay, try me bitch.”

 

“Yea it’s a word - it’s a fucking adverb you twat.”

 

“Language is ever evolving,” says Seokmin with a sense of serenity that get’s Soonyoung hissing out a laugh that sounds nearly painful. Seokmin loves it.

 

“Okay I’m just gonna open the damn present this is getting too nonsensical,” Jeonghan laughs as he begins pulling at the neatly applied sellotape because of course Jeonghan is the type of person who preserves wrapping paper as if keeping it free of tears will somehow make its recycled death sweeter. Seokmin is too impatient for that kind of nonsense and ever watching Jeonghan carefully and methodically unfold the paper is making him feel nervous - it’s that or it’s the fact that Soonyoung is, for some unexplainable reason that Seokmin will never understand, slipping his hand into Seokmin’s and squeezing it tight. But no. Wrapping paper.

 

“Oh gosh, Seungkwan,” Jeonghan gasps, “it’s gorgeous, thank you.”

 

“Just take a look inside,” says Seungkwan smugly, and Jeonghan does, carefully lifting back the cover of the navy linen bound photo album, index finger still tracing the embossed gold title.

“Seungkwan, I - just thank you so much,” Jeonghan seems lost for words and Seokmin has to admit its adorable when he scoops Seungkwan into what looks like the gentlest, warmest hug to ever. Seokmin thinks he sees a camera flash going off somewhere but he’s too busy trying to decipher whats going on in the upside -down picture on the first page of the open photo album Jeonghan left on his chair. It clicks when he sees his own face, a little younger perhaps, but his signature smile is still the same as it has been since he was two years old - it’s the first staff photo of Jeonghan’s cafe from when he first set up shop and Seokmin was still a gangly teenager with none of the confidence and all of the anxiety and self doubt he has today. Seokmin can’t help but smile at the ghosts of memories being hauled out the recesses of his subconscious; spending hours trying to copy Jeonghan’s mannerisms with customers and memorize the mechanics of the old till that Jeonghan tried to convince them was there for the aesthetic rather than the fact they could afford nothing else. Simpler days, Seokmin thinks, like he’s some kind of war veteran - in a way he is, that till made a good few bid for taking his whole arm off in its tour of duty.

 

“Come here you lanky idiot,” says Seungkwan and although his voice is slightly muffled by Jeonghan’s shoulder being half in his mouth, it’s clearly directed at Seokmin who smiles and flings his arms around Jeonghan and Seungkwan.

 

“Guys, please let go of me,” Jeonghan says after about twenty seconds, “I can’t breathe.”

 

“Shit, sorry hyung,” Seokmin says breezily, releasing Jeonghan at the same time as Seungkwan and taking a step back, “please continue with the present opening.”

 

“Yeah, do mine next,” says Minghao, thrusting a long, thin bag at Jeonghan as he sits down.

 

“Ah thanks Minghao.”

 

“I bet you it’s alcohol,” grins Soonyoung.

 

“Not if I bet you it’s alcohol first,” replies Seokmin.

 

“Alright, what do you bet?” Soonyoung says and there’s something challenging, nearly salacious, Seokmin wants to say, in his eyes that leaves Seokmin slightly afraid and very breathless. The air inside his lungs feels like cotton wool but strangely he has the feeling he never needs to breathe again. He’s going insane and it’s Soonyoung’s fault.

“You know it’s perfectly acceptable for you guys to shut the fuck up? Like whenever you’re ready, just go for it,” snarks Junhui.

 

“Hyung, come on, at least get a bit more creative.”

 

“Yeah we’ve heard the one before”

 

“I wonder why,” Minghao says rolling his eyes as Junhui goes for a high five, yet he still relents, a small smile blossoming as their palms slap together in a motion that’s simply become routine.

 

“Ooh nice going Minghao!” Jeonghan laughs, as he pulls out what looks like an ordinary vodka bottle from the bag.

 

“Told you it was alcohol,” Seokmin grins.

 

“I think you’ll find it was me who told you,” Soonyoung replies, shoving him a little.

 

“You, my good sir, seem to have your pants aflame.”

 

“Is that your way of telling me my ass is hot?”

 

“Guys, seriously,” says Seungkwan and Seokmin is saved from spluttering a reply, “just stop.”

 

“In the name of love?”

 

“I fucking meant it you tossers.”

 

“Shit, Minghao is that chicken flavoured vodka?” Wonwoo asks.

 

“Yeah,” Minghao replies with a grin, “thought Jeonghan would appreciate it. I’m not sure how good it is, but I guess we’ll see.”

 

“Chicken flavoured vodka?” Seokmin repeats.

 

“A combination of Jeonghan’s two favourite foods,” says Minghao smugly, “a winning combination.”

 

“Bitch, you think you win?” snorts Soonyoung, jogging Minghao’s should and nearly spilling his drink, “honey, you got a big storm coming.”

 

“Hey, since when did this become a competition?” asks Mingyu amidst Minghao’s scornful glare and Seokmin’s peals of laughter

 

“Since Seungkwan said so like 10 minutes ago, weren’t you listening?” grins Jisoo.

 

“No,” says Mingyu in a way that gets Seungkwan’s jaw dropping in offence.

 

“You little-”

 

“I’m taller than you so that doesn’t really work.”

 

“Oh my gosh, what are you, five?”

 

“Nope,” says Mingyu brightly, “just a little bit drunk.” Wonwoo rolls his eyes a little more harshly than usual.

 

“How about we move on to the next present?” says Seungcheol, a little desperately.

 

“You’ve already got mine,” shrugs Jisoo, “well, almost all of mine.”

 

“By Jove, Seokmin,” Soonyoung grins, using his best posh old man voice, “I think he’s talking about the sex!”

 

“The sex?” replies Seokmin, mimicking him, “golly, I think you’re right! How strange!”

 

“Shut up you two,” says Jeonghan easily, “don’t pretend you’re not glorified 10 year olds who can’t handle anyone saying ‘dick’.”

 

“Ah, but we handle dicks very well,” winks Soonyoung.

 

“Forgive me if I take your word for that,” replies Jeonghan with a wry smile.

 

“Oh, make it a word and a blow,” grins Seokmin

 

“Seokmin, nobody wants your shitty highschool Shakespeare references. And that sounds like you’re asking for a blowjob,” smirks Seungkwan.

 

“If you are then sorry, Minnie, you’re like a son to me - better luck next time,” grins Jeonghan.

 

“Jesus Christ, you’re just as bad as them Jeonghan, shut up and open your present,” says Jihoon, thrusting a shiny black gift bag at Jeonghan, who accepts it with a winning smile that has Jihoon rolling his eyes, “but like, be careful though.”

 

“Shit, Jihoonie, did you get him a knife?”

 

“Honestly, who would be surprised,” says Chan, handing Hansol a piece of birthday cake as there are murmurs of agreement.

 

“So you guys all think I’m some kind of crazy axe murderer?” is Jihoon’s unimpressed reply as he fold his arms.

 

“Hmm yep.”

 

“Yeah, that sounds about right.”

 

“Well, I wouldn’t put it past you.”

 

“I swear you tried to hit me with your guitar one time, and we’re friends so who knows!”

 

“Wow, thanks guys,” deadpans Jihoon, “glad to know.”

 

“Aww Jihoon-ah, don’t be like that,” says Soonyoung, pulling Jihoon into a side hug, “even if you are a crazy axe murderer, you’re our crazy axe murderer and that’s what matters.”

 

“Sure,” Jihoon replies and his tone drips sarcasm, but Seokmin can see a smile that becomes wider as  Soonyoung pulls him closer and laughs a strong bright laugh that makes Seokmin’s heart wrench and his stomach twist with guilt. He feels dizzy, and immature for feeling so ensnared by his own emotional dilemma to not realise how ridiculous and unsubtle he must seem to Sooyoung, like an overzealous and affectionate puppy who doesn’t realise the object of his affections doesn’t want him back. The die-hard romantic in Seokmin knows that if this were a drama, the contrast between Jihoon and Soonyoung would have them being destined to be together from episode one, leaving Seokmin as the ill fated second male lead, doomed to a bittersweet ending.

 

Seokmin should really watch less dramas.

 

“Okay, now that’s actually pretty sick,” remarks Hansol, as Jeonghan carefully takes a small cactus out of the bag.

 

“Who even says sick anymore,” Seungkwan mutters to Seokmin rolling his eyes, making him laugh.

 

“Shut up, you’re still gay for him.”

 

“It’s like a mini-Jihoon,” laughs Soonyoung.

 

“Explain?” asks Jisoo, clearly valuing his life by avoiding the obvious height joke that Seokmin low-key wants to make.

 

“Prickly, yet absorbs a lot of love,” grins Soonyoung.

 

“Fuck off,” laughs Jihoon and Seokmin feels a little queasy and he’s 196879% sure it’s not because of the alcohol or pizza - well, maybe it is a little, but the majority is the envy burning like acid inside of him and the unpleasant reminders from his guilty conscience that he has no right to feel this possessive over Soonyoung that what wash along with it.

 

“Aw Jihoonie it’s very sweet, thank you!” says Jeonghan, the praise making Jihoon’s cheeks heat up like a tomato.

 

“I just thought you’d like it.”

 

“I do, very much,”

 

“But not as much as you’ll like my gift!” Chan grins, giving Jeonghan a large rectangular box.

 

“I don’t know, Chan that’s a tough act to follow, I like a good cactus,” smirks Soonyoung.

 

“Why - ‘cause they’re covered in pricks?” smiles Wonwoo.

 

“How dare you!” laughs Soonyoung, trying to act offended, “My honour has never been so fouled - Seokmin, my darling husband of 87 years, won’t you defend me?” and as Soonyoung turns to Seokmin, eyes wide with a fake pout, he’s never felt more alive.

 

“Of course, my dearest,” he announces, grabbing a straw from the table and wielding it like a rapier because what else can he do? “Renounce thy unfavourable comments or be smote mightily!”

 

“Smote mightily? Isn’t that like god’s thing?” asks Hansol as he finishes the grape Seungkwan was feeding him.

 

“I’m making that my stripper name,” grins Soonyoung.

 

“What - ‘smote mightily’?”

 

“No, ‘god’s thing’.”

 

“That’s a shit stripper name,” Seokmin laughs.

 

“Yeah, but you all would still pay for this ass.”

 

“Um I don’t really think that’s true Soonyoung-hyung,” says Chan, from where he’s sitting half in Jeonghan’s lap and Soonyoung’s face is a picture - ‘The Scream’ by Edvard Munch to be exact.

 

“Channie! The betrayal - After all I’ve done for you as well.”

 

“Soonyoung, all you’ve done for him is brought him into a friendship group with a load of irresponsible college students I really don’t think you can claim to having done that much - or at least anything that has benefitted Chan in the long run,” says Seungcheol.

 

“That was fucking savage Cheol,” laughs Jeonghan, “ but what do you mean not benefitted in the long run? We’re great role models.”

 

“You’re really not actually,” admits Chan, “ the more time I spend with you guys the more my grade slip. I just don’t care anymore.”

 

“Ah, glad to see our legacy of apathy and nihilism is being passed on to them young,” snarks Minghao with a raise of his glass. Junhui ignores him.

 

“Jeez, Chan why didn’t you say something before? We’d help you out!”

 

“Yeah, we all go through high school and we just take your subjects at a higher level!”

 

“Ah guys, you don’t have to,” Chan says, scratching the back of his neck, “I know I’m younger than you guys and that’s kind of awkward-”

 

“Bitch, where? You’re part of this fucking family,” says Seungkwan.

 

“Okay, okay, I’ll ask you guys to help me with my homework or whatever!” says Chan trying to hide his grin, not wanting to be babied, “just open your present please hyung.”

 

“Fine, fine, just for you Channie,” sing Jeonghan, tugging on Chan’s cheek, “cute wrapping paper choice by the way.”

 

“Mmympntntfrm.”

 

“What was that?”

 

“My mum picked it out for me,” Chan sighs.

 

“Aw Chan you’re so cute,” says Jeonghan, pulling off the last of the wrapping paper, “wait, are this fairy lights.”

 

“Well technically because they’re in the shape of angels they’re-”

 

“Angel lights,” says Soonyoung, turning to Seokmin excitably, “we could have done with them last week for the grotto.”

 

“What grotto?” asks Seungcheol suspiciously.

 

“Doesn’t matter,” smiles Seokmin, stamping on Soonyoung’s foot to remind him to _shut the hell up_.

 

“Yep, doesn’t matter at all,” grimaces Soonyoung clearly still in pain, “it’s unimportant - inconsequential even.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Don’t worry hyung, all will be revealed.”

 

“Soonyoung, shut your mouth right now,” Seokmin hissed out of the side of his plastered on smile, “and I’m sorry about your foot.”

 

“It’s okay,” Soonyoung hisses back before grinning, “you can make it up to me by getting me some cake.”

 

“Fine,” Seokmin sighs, smiling, “I haven’t had any yet either.”

 

With a final smile, Seokmin stumbles his way out of the crowd amassed around Jeonghan over to where the cake sits dangerously close to edge of the table. It’s already been diced into several misshapen pieces, so Seokmin takes a plastic knife and slides it underneath a ‘slice’ to act as a kind of spatula and flops it onto a paper plate. He’s just about to slip the knife under a second piece to serve himself this time, when he feels someone nudge his elbow.

 

“Is this slice taken?” asks Jihoon, gesturing to the cake.

 

“Ah, yeah actually, that’s for Soonyoung hyung,” smiles Seokmin.

 

“Oh right, I guess I should take it over to him then.” Seokmin’s eyes narrow.

 

“No, it’s alright, I’ve got it,” he replies, forcing a smile.

 

“Seriously I don’t mind,” is Jihoon’s reply and he looks as though he’s about to reach for the plate. Aware of how incredibly childish and petty he’s being, he uses his free hand and jerks the paper plate further away from Jihoon.

 

“Sorry,” he says with a smirk, “needed to get a second plate.” Jihoon’s eyes narrow.

 

“Oh really,” he says flatly.

 

“Yep,” replies Seokmin with a cheery pop of the ‘p’ as he puts a piece onto the free plate, “but if you hold on for a second I’ll get you a slice too.”

 

“How kind of you,” says Jihoon, smile bitter.

 

“No problem at all,” says Seokmin with a wolfish grin, moving the second piece next to the first and lands a final piece on a third plate, “enjoy your cake.”

 

Seokmin then brushes past Jihoon, a slice of cake in each hand and cannot help feel incredibly smug. It must show on his face, as when he sidles up to Soonyoung, he’s greeted by a strange look.

 

“What was going on with you and Jihoon?” Soonyoung asks.

 

“Nothing, just a bit of a cake debate,” Seokmin replies, smothering his self-satisfied expression, “what have I missed?”

 

“Not too much, Mingyu and Wonwoo clubbed together to give Jeonghan this sexy camera with all those fancy lenses and shit - and Hansol gave Jeonghan a fucking fancy ass pillow,” Soonyoung says, after he finishes a mouthful of cake, “it honestly looks so good - triple double action memory foam tested by Victoria’s Secret models level of fancy.”

 

“Damn, take me to where they test these pillows.”

 

“Seokmin, you’re gay and that’s sexual objectification of women,” calls Wonwoo from across the room.

 

“Now, you’ve got me there.”

 

“Just shut up - your ironic ass needs to sit the fuck down,” laughs Soonyoung, “we should probably give Jeonghan ours soon.”

 

“Nah, let’s wait till the end,” Seokmin grins, “it’s more dramatic that way.”

 

“Of course,” laugh Soonyoung, “increases the tension and proves that our gift is the best.”

 

“What are you two giving Jeonghan?” asks Hansol, “Seungkwan refused to tell me.”

 

“I don’t like thinking about it,” says Seungkwan with a dramatic shudder.

 

“C’mon now Seungkwan, don’t be a prude,” Soonyoung wheedles.

“And don’t be a raisin either,” Seokmin adds.

 

“It’s not just me is it?” asks Jisoo, “they’re getting less and less funny as time goes on.”

 

“Hey, that was all him not me,” replies Soonyoung, “and anyway time isn’t real.”

 

“Neither is love,” deadpans Chan.

 

“Shit, Channie,” Mingyu says, “aren’t you too young to be this dead inside?” Chan just shrugs.

 

“New Year’s resolution: protect Chan’s mental health.”

 

“Seokmin it’s October, babe.”

 

“It’s five o’clock somewhere.” Soonyoung laughs.

 

“You know what, I’m not even mad,” he says, “come on, let’s get our shit together for Jeonghan.”

 

“Fuck, you’re right,” says Seokmin as he watches Jeonghan unwrap the jacket he’s been given from Junhui, and downs the tail end of his drink.

 

“I know.” Seokmin rolls his eyes.

 

“Shut up, where did you put the calendar?”

 

“I think Jihoon brought it in this the other presents so it should be on the table,” says Soonyoung, and sure enough there is a flat rectangle package left on the table, “what did you do with the flowers?”

 

“I think I must have left them with my coat.”

 

“Look at this amateur,” snorts Soonyoung, “you finish your cake, I’ll get the flowers - is it your normal coat I’m looking for?”

 

“Ah, no actually,” Seokmin laughs sheepishly, “I couldn’t find it so I’m using an old anorak of Seungkwan’s he left at mine like 2 years ago or something.”

 

“You’re saying that was closer to hand than, I don’t know, literally anything else?” Soonyoung replies, smiling in disbelief.

 

“It was okay, I think it’s the only waterproof thing I have.”

 

“Then for Christmas I’m giving you a coat,” Soonyoung grins, “can’t have my little Seokminnie dying from hypothermia now can I.”

 

“I’m taller than you.”

 

“I know, isn’t our height difference fun?” says Soonyoung with a wink and he leaves the room, leaving Seokmin more than a little dumbfounded and incredibly gay. He has precisely no clue what Soonyoung meant by that wink but the memory of it is now pretty much laser-engraved onto the back of his retinas right now. He swallows hard, willing himself to just think of something else, anything else - knowing that fixating on the tiny details of everything Soonyoung does probably isn’t going to help at all with the inevitable getting over Soonyoung that Seokmin will no doubt attempt many times. It’s a hopeless cause already and he knows it. The worst part is that he doesn’t particularly mind.

 

“You alright there, Seokmin-ah?” asks Seungcheol.

 

“Mmhmm never better,” replies Seokmin, lying through his teeth as his brain goes into overdrive.

 

“Alright, if you say so dude,” Seungcheol says with a frown, “how many drinks are you on?”

 

“This is my second - don’t worry about me hyung I’m just having a cheeky overthinking sesh.”

 

“You know sometimes I don’t think I understand half the things you say.”

 

“You’re not supposed to understand art,” Soonyoung smirks as he sidles up to Seokmin and Seungcheol, sunflowers in hand, “hey, you ready?”

 

“Not really.”

 

“That’s the spirit,” Soonyoung says, throwing an arm over Seokmin’s shoulders, “come on, it’s not like Schrodinger's cat - we’re naked on the calendar whether anyone looks or not.”

 

“You’re not wrong,” Seokmin admits, “but this is certainly going to be one of the weirdest things I’ve ever done.”

 

“You and me both,” Soonyoung laughs, “come on - that calendar isn’t going to unwrap itself.”

 

“You’re not wrong,” Seokmin replies and they make their way across the kitchen back towards Jeonghan.

 

“Hyung,” Soonyoung announces, removing his hand from Seokmin’s shoulders as Seokmin goes to collect up the present, “these are for you.” He presents Jeonghan with the flowers with a flourish so Seokmin bucks the fuck up and comes to terms with the fact that, yes, his boss of two years will be seeing his naked butt in 13 different variations, and he picks up the calendar from the table, before smoothly dropping onto one knee and presenting it to Jeonghan the way Soonyoung and he had agreed back when they were making the calendar

 

(“What, like I’m proposing?” Seokmin laughs, “Seungcheol would have my head.”

 

“Nah, like it’s a sword - like he’s the king or something,” Soonyoung grins.

 

“But babe, you’re the only king I know - king of my heart,” Seokmin says with a cheesy wink and Soonyoung mysteriously blushes.

 

“Um since when? Can I get a refund?”

 

“Nope, you’re stuck with me now,” Seokmin grins, “you were the one who asked for my number.”

 

“And what a mistake that was.”

 

“Don’t lie, you love me.”

 

“Yeah, I do,” Soonyoung smiles and Seokmin wonders if it’s possible to die by simply willing death to take you.)

 

“What the hell,” Jeonghan laughs, “why do you guys have to be doing the most all the time?”

 

“Just take the damn gifts, okay,” says Soonyoung with a grin, handing Jeonghan the flowers.

 

“Ah they smell so nice, I haven’t had flowers in ages, this is really cute, you guys,” Jeonghan says, feeling the texture of one of the petals between his fingers.

 

“Wait, is that an indirect at Jisoo-hyung and Seungcheol-hyung?” asks Minghao.

 

“No, why would you think that?” replies Jeonghan with a faux-innocent smile that leaves both his boyfriends looking a bit bashful.

 

“Hey, I still have plenty of presents that i haven’t given you yet,” replies Seungcheol.

 

“I know babe, I’m just teasing,” says Jeonghan, blowing him a kiss.

 

“Well while you’re flirting, some of us have knees that are dying,” calls out Seokmin from the floor.

 

“Ah sorry Seokminnie,” smiles Jeonghan, “I was just revelling in the cuteness of your gift.”

 

“Well that’s not going to continue much longer.”

“Be quiet Seungkwan,” Jeonghan says sweetly, before taking the parcel from Seokmin and eyeing it suspiciously, “now what is this?”

 

“You’ll just have to find out when you open it,” smiles Soonyoung offering out a hand to Seokmin. He takes it and it feels so natural to just keep their hands entangled that Seokmin just doesn’t let go. Neither does Soonyoung, so Seokmin takes that to mean he doesn’t mind it too much, but the voice in the back of his head reminds him that Soonyoung probably only sees it platonically and it hurts like someone hitting a healing bruise.

 

“If this is like a vinyl of you two making whale noises for an hour all I can say is I don’t have a record player.”

 

“It’s not, but that’s a good idea - maybe we should do that for Christmas,” Seokmin grins, “thanks Jeonghan!”

 

Jeonghan rolls his eyes but starts to open the packaging, dextrous fingers cutting easily through Soonyoung’s clumsy sellotape. Finally, he pulls away the sheet of wrapping paper and-

 

“Oh my god,” says Jeonghan as he takes a first look at the glossy cover of the calendar, “oh sweet jesus.”

 

On the cover of the calendar, there’s a photograph of Soonyoung and Seokmin, bodies facing each other, but with matching flirtatious grins towards the camera. They are both entirely naked apart from some playboy bunny style ears on their heads, and matching bowties and cuffs - and the only thing that’s protecting their modesty is the champagne bottles they are holding over each other.

 

“Oh my god,” says Jeonghan again, and Seokmin has to agree.

 

“Did you guys make a full nude calendar?” asks Seungcheol, laughing in disbelief.

 

“Yup, there’s a picture for every month,” grins Soonyoung, “it’s not called ‘A Year of SoonSeok for nothing.”

 

“And are they all this, um-”

 

“Pornographic?” bites Seungkwan.

 

“C’mon Kwannie, it’s just a few butts, what harm can it do?” teases Seokmin.

 

“Well, I know it scarred me for life taking the photographs,” says Mingyu pulling a face.

 

“It was all in the name of art, my dear Mingyu,” replies Soonyoung, clapping him on the shoulder.

 

“Speaking of art - you should check out September,” intones Seokmin, “it’s my favourite.”

 

“I thought November was your favourite?”

 

“They’re all my favourite,” amends Seokmin, “but November and December are pretty damn good.”

 

“Well now I’m just going to have to look through them all,” say Jeonghan, flipping the page, “why is the theme for January flowers?”

 

“It’s ironic,” Soonyoung shrugs as he and everyone else crane over to look at the picture. This time Seokmin and Soonyoung are both lying on a layer of flower petals - there are even petals taped over their nipples and they each are festooned with a flower crown and have an artfully placed bouquet.

 

“This is rather cute actually,” smile Jeonghan, “you look like fairies.”

 

“Yeah, fairies with an exhibitionist kink,” snorts Hansol.

 

“Okay that’s a horrible mental image, February please,” says Seungcheol, and Jeonghan laughs but turns the page.

 

“Is there an overall theme here, aside from the nudity?” asks Wonwoo, “just ‘cause I don’t really see what firefighters have got to do with anything here.”

 

“It’s all art, hyung,” Seokmin grins, “we even used the Golden Spiral.”

 

They did, as well - Mingyu pointed it out after the photograph was taken. The fire engine - and the fire station that Soonyoung had managed to get them for the shoot - take up just over half of the photo, with Seokmin posed in front - decked out in a plastic fireman’s hat and holding a hose in a rather suggestive position that goes up to spray water over Soonyoung, who’s legs are wrapped around the fireman’s pole with his own hose spraying water right back at Seokmin. It’s a sight to be hold, and is somewhat reminiscent of The Creation of Adam in a way that’s going to plague Seokmin if he ever has to study the architecture of the Sistine Chapel in his History of Architecture lessons. He really wants to ask Soonyoung how he managed to stay on the pole that long in that position but he’s not sure the answer would ever allow him to get even a second of peace in his whole life.

 

“Well,” says Jihoon, “it’s certainly interesting.”

 

“Perhaps we should move on?” suggests Chan.

 

“Agreed.”

 

“Alright then, March here we come,” says Jeonghan turning the next page, “ah, a business theme I think?”

 

“That’s the badger.”

 

“Damn it, we should have done a badger theme,” groans Seokmin.

 

“Next year babe, next year,” Soonyoung replies, soothingly rubbing Seokmin’s back.

 

“Um guys,” Junhui interrupts, “why did you guys decide moustaches were part of the ensemble?”

 

“It’s a business theme,” smiles Seokmin, “businessmen have moustaches.”

 

“Moustaches and ties.”

 

“Yeah moustaches and ties.”

 

“Hence why all the two of you are wearing is moustaches and ties?”

 

“Don’t forget the shoes,” grins Soonyoung.

 

“That’s probably the ugliest thing about all of this - the fact that you still have your shoes on,” says Seungkwan in disgust, gesturing at the photo. Seokmin and Soonyoung stand on either side of a white board with a bar chart that’s frighteningly primary coloured, holding files to disguise their nudity. Personally, Seokmin is rather fond of the thick black moustaches both of them are sporting, as well as the tightly knotted ties they’re wearing around their neck. And the finger guns definitely finish off the look.

 

“Well how are we supposed to do business if we don’t have our shoes on?” Soonyoung laughs, “next one, please hyung.”

 

“Okay, so April is,” Jeonghan pauses as he turns the page, “athletics?”

 

“Yup,” grins Seokmin, “we decided to become the athletic kids our mum’s always hoped we’d be, but spent too much time playing video games and being gay to become.”

 

“How poetic,” Minghao smirks.

 

“Hey, my true skill lies in modelling for naked calendar, not poetry, I can’t be good at everything,” Seokmin replies.

 

“And how much skill does it take to do that?”

 

“Quite a bit actually - you see how it looks as though I’m in mid run? I had to hold that position for like 5 minutes, my thighs nearly died.”

 

The end result is still pretty impressive though, Seokmin - fringe pushed back by a navy sweat band - is running towards Soonyoung in the photo, relay baton not doing much to hide anything, but that’s okay dude to the side angle of the camera that allows Seokmin’s own leg to keep himself covered up. A few steps ahead, Soonyoung is in the same position, one hand ready to receive the baton, the other holding a shuttlecock at a frankly stupid distance away from his body, but mainly his back to the camera so Seokmin is trying very hard not to stare too much at Soonyoung’s butt.

 

“Your thighs? How about my eyes? And my camera? And my cred in the photography department?” says Mingyu, only slightly bitterly.

 

“Oh stop moaning Mingyu, consider it a learning experience.”

 

“Fuck you, it’s not a learning experience if the only thing I learn about is your dicks!”

 

“Um, excuse you, Mingyu, no sex talk when Chan is around!” scolds Jeonghan.

 

“Hyung, I’ve literally had sex okay,” sighs Chan.

 

“What the fuck Channie you’re like 10! That’s illegal,” Jeonghan says, scandalised. Jisoo sighs.

 

“Let’s just move on.”

 

“Fine, whatever, I’ll just have to protect the innocent youth some other time,” huffs Jeonghan, but he turns the page, “why the fuck is May Christmas themed?”

 

“Well we already had a plan for December,” smirks Soonyoung, sipping his drink.

 

“And we wanted to fit a Christmas one in somewhere,” adds Seokmin.

 

“And we didn’t have anything for May.”

 

“So why not?” Seokmin finishes.

 

“You have a present over your dick,” says Wonwoo flatly.

 

“Actually,” grins Soonyoung, “his dick was inside the box.”

 

“And it really wasn’t very comfortable, even though it was a special dick box.”

“Okay, shut up I don’t want to know,” Seungkwan groans covering his ears, “the picture is already far too much.”

 

“Hey now it’s not that graphic,” Seokmin pouts.

 

“You guys literally look as if you’re about to fuck,” Seungkwan replies and he’s not that wrong. In the photo, in front of a mantle piece covered in stockings and a decorated tree - complete with an angel on the top that bares Jeonghan’s face - Seokmin and Soonyoung stand holding each other at arm’s length, lips pursed and Soonyoung clearly attempting to push Seokmin back into an armchair by the side of the fireplace. Seokmin has to admit it’s made a little disturbing by the angel wings and halo on himself, and the matching santa hat and beard that goes down to his thighs that Soonyoung has donned.

 

“How did you guys get the beard so long?” asks Junhui, “you look like Gandalf.”

 

“Maybe if Gandalf was in a shitty porno,” says Hansol, holding a breadstick out for Seungkwan.

 

“Lord of the Kinks,” says Wonwoo, and Minghao gives him a look.

 

“I am disgusted.”

 

“Hey, don’t kinkshame Wonwoo,” gasps Soonyoung, “just cause he’s into puns.”

 

“Can we stop throwing the word ‘kink’ around so much, it’s killing me slowly,” says Seungcheol with a pained expression.

 

“Agreed,” says Minghao with a grimace, and Jeonghan once again turns the page.

 

“Okay what possessed you when you came up with this idea?” laughs Jeonghan.

 

“The ghosts of two old ladies apparently,” replies Jihoon.

 

“Hey, not just old ladies knit.”

 

“Well no one can knit anymore, you stole all the wool in Korea,” says Hansol.

 

“Actually, it was donated by my dance class,” Soonyoung replies smugly, though he didn’t look half as smug when he and Seokmin had to lug thirteen bags of wool from the community centre to Mingyu’s photography studio.

 

“Wasn’t the wool itchy?” asks Chan. It’s a reasonable question, seeing as the theme for June is knitting - this time the photo depicts both Seokmin and Soonyoung sat in arm chairs, appearing to be in mid-conversation with ball of wool on their laps and half-knitted squares connected to knitting needles in their hands. That’s not where it ends though - the rest of the picture is full of mounds and mounds of wool in all different colours and shades and it honestly looks like the lair of a wool-hoarding dragon.

 

“Actually, no,” replies Soonyoung, “we rolled up our underwear and used it as protection between us and the wool - we didn’t exact want to rub our dicks all over wool that we have to give back.”

 

“Well, I’m glad you guys are at least using protection here,” says Wonwoo.

 

“If that was a sex joke it wasn’t funny,” replies Soonyoung.

 

“Ouch okay, tough crowd hyung,” grins Mingyu pulling Wonwoo into a side hug, “I found it funny though.”

 

“Thanks,” says Wonwoo, perhaps a little stiffly.

 

“Okay, quit it with the love fest,” says Jihoon, “next page, please hyung.” Jeonghan obliges.

 

“Okay, first things first, who let you do that with their farming implements?” asks Minghao.

 

“My cousin,” grins Seokmin, “he’s very liberal.”

 

“He’s going to have to be if you’re going around naked except straw farmer hats and boots in the middle of his barn.”

 

It’s a pretty accurate description, Seokmin acknowledges, the photo itself is pretty simple; Seokmin and Soonyoung both stand next to each other in the centre of a barn surrounded by hay bales with their backs nearly completely to the camera, throwing jaunty grins over their shoulders while holding out rakes at very strange angles coming from their crotch area. But Seokmin cannot help but tie this particularly memory to the smell of the barn. It’s a memory he’d rather not relive, the only positive part being Soonyoung’s excitement when he saw his cousins cows.

 

(“Hey there Bertha, how are you doing?” calls Soonyoung, waving at a cow on the other side of the field.

 

“How do you know that one is Bertha?” Seokmin asks, a fond smile on his face.

 

“I just get vibes you know? Like I look at her and I know - she’s a Bertha.”

 

“Didn’t know you were a cow whisperer, Soon,” Seokmin grins, knocking their shoulders together.

 

“There’s lots of things you don’t know about me,” says Soonyoung like its a joke, but Seokmin can’t stop his heart from sinking, just a little bit. )

 

“There’s a lot of butt in this picture,” Junhui muses.

 

“Yeah that’s part of the gift,” grins Seokmin.

 

“Let’s move on shall we, wow, yes, great plan” says Hansol rolling his eyes.

 

“Aw guys, you’re acting as though you don’t want to look at our butts,” whines Soonyoung.

 

“That’s cause we don’t,” replies Jisoo with a shrug.

 

“Ouch okay, my butt will not take this slander - move it on Jeonghan-hyung,” Soonyoung says,and Jeonghan complies.

 

“Wait is that real armor?” is Minghao’s reaction when Jeonghan turns the page.

 

“Yup,” smirks Seokmin, “but sadly those are not real swords. I should know, Mingyu hit me with them enough.”

 

“That’s just cause you were terrible at staying where I’d put you!” exclaims Mingyu, channelling some of his past anger. Mingyu hated doing the knight concept for August - mainly because Seokmin and Soonyoung had been incredibly distracted by the shiny armour and swords they were using as props.

 

August’s photo has Soonyoung and Seokmin fighting each other, swords in hand and armour plating on their shoulders and upper arms. Soonyoung would be fully exposed as he fully faces the camera while Seokmin’s butt is completely on display, but is shielded by, well, a shield.

 

“I’m just wondering if the swords are a metaphor for something here,” says Wonwoo with a smirk, making Seokmin blush.

 

“If so, doesn’t that make this one porn?” laughs Junhui.

 

“Metaporn.”

 

“Metaphornication.”

 

“Next page, please hyung,” says Seokmin quickly. Suffering through making the calendar with a very naked Soonyoung was enough of a challenge without Wonwoo bringing back those memories along with some very unhelpful scenarios that Seokmin does not need to think about ever thanks.

 

“Okay Minnie,” says Jeonghan, before turning the page and laughing, “you know this one is actually quite good.”

 

“Thank you, it took a lot of photoshop,” grins Soonyoung, finishing his drink.

 

“I particularly like the wig - you look very beautiful hyung,” laughs Minghao as Soonyoung playfully raises his hand as if to cuff him over the head, but just laughs it away.

 

“Indeed I do - goddess of beauty right here guys,” Soonyoung says with so much confidence that it’s more than a little attractive.

 

When deciding on doing ‘The Birth of Venus’ for September, for Seokmin it was a no brainer for who should play venus so in the image soonyoung stands centre,swathed in tumbling locks of golden hair that protect his modesty just like in the original painting. Through the magic of photoshopping individual images onto the original painting Seokmin takes on the roles of both the Hora of Spring, holding a big pink blanket out to clothe Soonyoung and also the floating Zephyrus, blowing wind onto Soonyoung.

 

“You know at first glance, I could mistake it for the real thing,” Jisoo says, “you guys did a pretty good job.”

 

“Cheers, hyung, but the best is yet to come,” winks Seokmin.

 

“Jeonghan-hyung you know what to do,” says Soonyoung and Jeonghan sighs but flips to October.

 

“Oh, so you guys actually stuck with a theme relating to the month this time - honestly, I’m surprised,” snarks Jeonghan, grinning.

 

“What can I say, I’m always a slut for Halloween,” grins Soonyoung, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth in a way that makes his cheeks stand out and look adorable. Seokmin has to look away.

 

“Yeah we can tell - I didn’t know this was mean girls,” smirks Hansol.

 

“I’m going to put you in the fucking Burn Book, Hansol,” warns Soonyoung with a grin.

 

“Not going to lie,” Jisoo interrupts, “you guys kinda really look like strippers.”

 

“That’s fair,” shrugs Seokmin. October was possibly his least favourite to shoot - not only was the broom he had to hold between his legs very uncomfortable, the wizard hat was itchy too. That being said - he definitely didn’t want to swap with Soonyoung who went for zombie cheerleader and had to use a pompom to not expose himself.

 

“Well it’s very difficult to come up with thirteen different naked scenarios that are PG,” Soonyoung sighs, “we tried our best, but we can’t help being sexy.”

 

“That, my friends,” says Seungkwan smiling, “sounds fake.” Soonyoung is about to argue back, but is interrupted by Wonwoo.

 

“Let’s move on hyung, only two months left, we can do this.”

 

“Are you implying you are not enjoying this?” says Seokmin mock affronted.

 

“It’s okay, babe,” says Soonyoung soothingly, running a hand down Seokmin’s torso and a shiver down his spine, “not everyone understands our art.”

 

“Hmm art okay sure,” says Jeonghan, turning the page, “didn’t you say November was your favourite, Seokmin?”

 

“Yep, it was the first one we shot.”

 

“Oh my gosh,” laughs Jeonghan, as he smooths out the page, “you guys are too much.”

 

“So we’ve been told,” grins Soonyoung.

 

“Wait, what is it this time?” asks Seungcheol, straining to look around Minghao’s head.

 

“Pepe,” says Seungkwan with a laugh, “fucking Pepe. Goddamn it.”

 

“You guys got off lightly,” says Soonyoung, “it was going to be completely meme themed.”

 

“Well, I’m glad you were more conservative with you memes,” says Seungcheol tiredly, “if we can call any of this conservative.”

 

“Hey our dicks have been hidden everytime!”

 

“Yeah, by fucking frogs,” Minghao says, almost in disbelief.

 

“Even though you two are wearing frog masks in this I’ve seen so much of your naked bodies that I can tell you two apart and that’s not a skill I ever wanted to have,” Chan says.

 

“See! You’ve scarred the child now!”

 

“Hyung, in some countries I’d be considered an adult,” Chan replies with a soft smile.

 

“Well good thing we don’t live there then - you are a baby Channie,” says Jeonghan pulling Chan into a tight hug.

 

“I’m not,” Chan pouts, making Jeonghan coo.

 

“Nah if he really was a child he’d be running for the hills, screaming and crying,” Junhui says, “that’s nightmare fuel.”

 

Seokmin sees where he’s coming from. This time the picture shows Seokmin - although it’s hard to tell because of the rubber frog mask on his face - lying in a hospital bed, with a gas mask strapped to his face that’s connected to  a large gas canister that reads ‘FRESH MEMES’ in big, black, beautiful font. Soonyoung (who has a matching frog mask) stands nakedly behind the bed, wiping big paper tears from his eyes. A truly touching tableau.

 

“Excuse you, this is an emotional masterpiece,” says Seokmin, “the only tears will be tears of raw emotion evoked by the art.”

 

“I feel sick,” says Jeonghan, turning the page on final time, “please tell me December isn’t quite as awful.”

 

“We could tell you that, but you’d say we were lying,” grins Soonyoung. Jeonghan looks at the picture and goes pale.

 

“Is that my fucking cafe?”

 

“Happy birthday,” smirks Seokmin as he and Soonyoung high five. The December picture does indeed take place in Jeonghan’s cafe, with both Seokmin and Soonyoung posed sprawling over the tables, using a collection of various pastries, cakes and confectionary to defend their decency.

 

“At least tell me you wiped those tables down afterwards,” says Jeonghan faintly.

 

“Of course we did hyung, we don’t want you to kill us after the surprise has worn off.”

 

“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” Jeonghan says silkily, “I’m definitely killing you both.”

 

“Aha we love you too hyung,” says Soonyoung laughing a little shakily.

 

“I have to admit, it’s a pretty sweet gift,” says Seungkwan, attempting to diffuse the tension, Seokmin can tell.

 

“‘Sweet’ is being a bit generous,” smirks Minghao, “more like insane.”

 

“How about creative?” offers Soonyoung.

 

“I’ll admit it was creative,” Jeonghan smiles, “it’s even kind of beautiful in a way - I have to admit it makes me laugh.”

 

“Well, that’s what we’re here for,” grins Seokmin.

 

“I think i’m going to need more to drink if you want me to see it as beautiful,” snarks Wonwoo.

 

“Aw don’t listen to him,” says Jeonghan standing up, “I love you guys - even though it’s a bit strange, I love the calendar too.”

 

“Even though we put our naked butts on your tables?”

 

“Even though you put your naked butts on my tables,” Jeonghan sighs, “now - hug me.”

 

“Jesus, hyung - you’re so demanding.”

 

“You bet it,” says jeonghan, but Seokmin isn’t one to pass up a hug and pulls Jeonghan tightly to his chest.

 

“I really hope you like it, Hannie-hyung,” he says softly and Seokmin can feel his smile against his shoulder.

 

“Of course I do Min-ah, I love how much effort you guys put into it,” Jeonghan replies before releasing Seokmin and being bodily attacked by Soonyoung who clings onto him like an octopus.

 

“Happy, happy, happy birthday hyung,” Soonyoung says and Seokmin can tell he’s grinning.

 

“Thanks Soonyoung-ah,” Jeonghan laughs.

 

“Fuck this emotional shit, who wants to go back to playing drunk Uno?” Jihoon asks the room, already making his way back towards the living room with a nodding Wonwoo in tow.

 

“Shit, yeah, we still need to do our shots,” groans Hansol from underneath Seungkwan, who’s migrated into his lap, “c’mon get of me, we need to get drunk.”

 

The mention of even more drinks is enough to get Seokmin feeling a little bloated and slightly afraid. He’s never seen Soonyoung drunk before, but he can hazard a guess it will be handsy and cute and Seokmin will die of that before he even gets the chance to die by alcohol poisoning.

 

“Um actually I think I’m going to go to the loo,” says Seokmin in an ever so slightly strained voice.

 

“Oh shit, should we wait for you?” asks Soonyoung with such honest and gentle warmth in his eyes that Seokmin probably needs a reality check because who really gets that soft on their friend going to the toilet - even if they are Kwon Soonyoung.

 

“Nah, you’re good,” Seokmin smiles back, “just tell me what I need to drink when I return.”

 

And so Seokmin makes his escape and for five blessed minutes he presses his forehead against the cool tiles of Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s bathroom. He can practically feel the sigh of relief coming from his brain as he relaxes and lets his mind drift into a plane of nothingness - the only combatant against Soonyoung ensnaring his senses all the time, every day.

 

Looking at the calendar has brought back all the memories he’s been trying to suppress; the pure, clean expanse of Soonyoung’s skin, the way the air between them never felt tinged with sensuality, but there was always an ever present hum of tension between them that no matter how stupid the concept was, Seokmin could not escape - the fact that no matter how often Seokmin would see the various aspects of Soonyoung, every time he looked at him he  would feel as though he’s remembered wrong, and things were different from how he’d perceived them not half a second ago. Making the calendar felt like being in a separate dream like reality and sometimes the memory is too strong or too weak. The relationship between him and Soonyoung hasn’t changed but Seokmin feels raw everytimes he looks at him and thinks about the whole calendar experience - like he’s being born over and over again.

 

A part of him wishes he could stay longer, but he knows if he stays too long, Seungkwan - or god forbid Soonyoung, even - might come along to see if he’s alright. To be fair, bathrooms are his number one favourite spots for existential crises, and he has been known to spend several hours in bathrooms before, so the search parties wouldn’t be entirely unwarranted. Still - he’s not having a crisis - well he’s had bigger ones before and really just needs some space. Mentally, he can hear Soonyoung telling him he has a whole universe of it outside, and he smiles despite himself. With one last deep breath of peace, he twists the handle, and heads back towards the kitchen.

 

But the kitchen is nearly empty now, now that nearly all the food has been raided - only Junhui remains, cutting himself a slice of cake.

 

“Hey, hyung,” Seokmin says, announcing his presence, “do you know where Soonyoung-hyung is?”

 

“I think he went back to play Uno,” Junhui shrugs, “wait no - I’m pretty sure I was him go into the conservatory.”

 

“Ah thanks hyung,” Seokmin says as Junhui gives him a parting smile and heads into the living room. Taking a handful of cheese straws in one hand, and grabbing a drink in the other, Seokmin begins to make his way toward the conservatory.

He stops when he hears Soonyoung’s voice say ‘crush’.

 

“... and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me like that but we’re in such close contact all the time and it just hurts all the time,” Soonyoung’s sigh filters through the glass, “I don’t even know if I feel this way because I do actually have a crush or if I’m just projecting because I’m lonely after the break up.”

 

“I know man,” comes Minghao’s soft reply, “you’ve told me a dozen times.”

 

“Ah yeah I know, I must sound like a broken record to you,” Soonyoung says, and Seokmin hears the self depreciating sad smile in his voice and it would break his heart in two only Seokmin isn’t sure his heart even works anymore.

 

“It’s all good man, don’t worry about that - I don’t mind at all,” Minghao says, as Seokmin gently slides down the glass to sit on the floor with his back against it, pulse beating in his ears.

 

He wants to stop listening - it’s an invasion of Soonyoung’s privacy to keep listening and once he’s gotten over the adrenaline Seokmin is sure the guilt will start to curdle in his gut but if there’s a change, just a small fucking chance Soonyoung likes him back then Seokmin is going to apologise for invading his privacy for the rest of forever straight after he confesses. God - confessing. The thought no longer makes him feel sick, but instead light, like it’ll free his shoulders from the heavy weight of the secrecy.

 

“But perhaps,” Minghao continues, “you could try just talking to Jihoon-”

 

_No._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back with another late update? its a long one as well lol sorry  
> but i'm off for the summer now! so maybe my updates will be a little more frequent and i'll have the christmas chapter (spoiler alert) done by actual christmas ://
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed the chapter - im still feeling a bit weird abt it but yeah,, cliffhanger amirite? 
> 
> thank u for all the lovely comments!!! they make my day n keep me writing lmao  
> idk if u noticed but ive added a few more tags as from here on out,,, u might get a little angry with me aha - but there is a happy ending for everyone dw 
> 
> but yes thank you for reading if you have any comments or criticism feel free to hit me up :))  
> thank you to jess, amy and claudi who have been letting me scream at them abt this chapter for months during our exams and in fact i'll dedicate this chapter to claudi who wants to fight jihoon in this chapter
> 
> also if u havent already you should stan astro xoxoxo aND WHAT A COMEBACK FROM MY BOYS CHINA LINE WITH THEIR OWN SONG OK IMMA STOP BEFORE THIS GETS TOO LONG
> 
> but the amount of weird shit ive had to google for this chapter,,, its been mad


	11. Chocolate

No.

 

No.

 

No no no no no no no no no no no no no.

 

Seokmin should not have fucking listened. He understands now why Van Gogh decided to chop his own ear off cause god damn Seokmin wishes he could go back a minute in time and rid himself of both. Crushing on Soonyoung with the thought that he probably doesn’t like him back is nothing compared to the crushing, stabbing, bruising pain of the ugly, rock hard evidence that not only does he not like Seokmin back but he also prefers someone else - and has, the whole time that Seokmin was reading into the little glances and moments he thought might mean something.

 

“Talk to Jihoon?” laughs Soonyoung, “and what tell him everything? You’re mad.”

 

Seokmin feels mad - in both the crazy and the angry way. Angry with himself, and crazy for being fool enough to tricking himself into believing he had a goddamn chance.

 

“C’mon, you know he’d be the best person to talk to about this,” Minghao wheedles, and damn, if Seokmin didn’t feel insecure about Soonyoung being his best friend he does now. This night is getting better and better.

 

“Just cause he was the one who helped me get out of the shit with Jinhyuk, it doesn’t mean he’d be the right person to talk to now,” Soonyoung replies. Jinhyuk - that must be Soonyoung’s awful cheating ex who Seokmin is now one step closer to being able to fight.

 

“Why not? He’ll just tell you what I’ve been telling you -”

 

“Which is?”

 

“That he likes you back - only you might actually listen to Jihoon when he says it.”

 

Soonyoung laughs a hollow, bitter laugh and it makes Seokmin wince. He hates the sound of it, it doesn’t belong in Soonyoung’s mouth, and Seokmin never wants to hear it again - it’s too much like poison and he really wants to fucking cry. But the emotions are trapped it seems - and it’s like his tear ducts don’t even want to believe it, because his eyes are dry and stinging, the same way they sting when he’s past the point of being just tired and the exhaustion feels like a hallucinogenic episode. He wishes this was a hallucinogenic episode.

 

“He won’t because - unlike you - we both know he doesn’t like me back,” Soonyoung says, words drenched in bitterness.

 

“You’re making this harder for yourself than it needs to be,” Minghao replies, and Seokmin wishes he were less perceptive. It’s sort of a blessing that Soonyoung thinks Jihoon doesn’t return his feelings - though Seokmin isn’t quite sure how he’s oblivious to Jihoon’s very obvious advances but maybe that’s Seokmin’s saltiness talking - but at the same time Seokmin can’t help but feel guilty - as though he is prolonging Soonyoung’s heartache by not telling him. To be fair it seems as though he isn’t listening to Minghao informing him of Jihoon’s feelings so who’s to say that Soonyoung would listen anymore to Seokmin than he is to Minghao? The words ‘best friends’ hiss like escaping gas in the back of his head, seeping around and fizzling into numbness.

 

“Well what do you suggest? Confess to him now while he’s drunk and hope that he doesn’t remember in the morning?”

 

“You know as well as I do he’s not even that drunk yet - I’m just suggesting you can use this situation to your advantage - he must be feeling a little amorous right now-”

 

“Amorous? What are you, a 50 year old language teacher?” despite himself Seokmin wants to laugh, “give it a rest Minghao.”

 

“Shut up, you know what I mean. I’m honestly fed up of seeing you so morose - it’s like your emotions hit peak when you’re around him and then plummet the minute you start brooding on why he probably doesn’t like you back -”

 

“Hey!”

 

“ - even though he definitely does,” Minghao says, ignoring Soonyoung, “just grow the fuck up dude.”

 

“Hmm no I think I’m good,” Soonyoung says, “I think I’m getting good at this pining bullshit - and who knows maybe I’ll get over him - don’t look at me like that-”

 

“Look at you like what?”

 

“Like you think I can’t possibly get over him and I’m bullshitting myself. I can get over him.”

 

“Sure you can.”

 

“I’m going on a blind date and everything soon!”

 

“But you’ll still be in love with him.”

 

“I am not in love with anyone!” Seokmin needs another drink. Like now.

 

Doing his best impression of a newborn deer learning to walk for the first time, Seokmin tenderly gets to his feet. Soonyoung’s words have been more sobering than if he had dunked his head in a tank of cold water, leaving Seokmin feeling overtly lucid - like he’s been washed underneath his skin - and as though if anyone spoke to him he’d be overstimulated. But the kitchen is probably void of people and still full of alcohol and therefore Seokmin’s dream destination right now.

 

Or maybe not, he thinks as he rounds the corner into the kitchen, because there stands Wonwoo.

 

“Hey Min,” Wonwoo smiles, running a hand through his hair, and damn Seokmin needs to stop having pretty friends because it does nothing for his self confidence.

 

“Hey hyung,” Seokmin croaks back, smiling weakly, “just came to get another drink.”

 

“Ah me too, what can I get you?”

 

“Oh no, you don’t have to Wonu-hyung, it’s chill.”

 

“Just sit down Seokmin, I’ve just done 8 shots and I am ready to let you do the same,” Wonwoo smirks.

 

“Ah, hyung you know my alcohol tolerance is shit, compared to you,” Seokmin whines, grinning a little.

 

“Don’t worry, Seokmin, I know you’re a big baby,” Wonwoo winks, “maybe I should get you one of Chan’s appletinis?”

 

“How about you fuck off?” Seokmin replies and Wonwoo laughs as Seokmin slides into a stool at the breakfast bar.

 

“Okay, okay, what are you drinking?” Wonwoo says with a playful roll of his eyes.

 

“Oh are you in full bartender mode now?”

 

“Sure, why not - I was actually a bartender as a first year,” Wonwoo shrugs.

 

“Really? I didn’t know that.”

 

“Yeah, it didn’t last very long - I’m good at staying up late but I do need sleep and I was getting about 3 hours a night and I couldn’t really survive on that,” Wonwoo says leaning forward and resting his hands on the counter with a smirk looking like he’s stepped out of a noir film, “so what will it be?”

 

“Can’t I just have a beer?”

 

“Nope, I’m your bartender now, you’ve got to let me make you a drink.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Yup - but nothing too complex cause I’ll fuck it up and I’m not wasting alcohol like that.”

 

“Fine - does gin and tonic work for you?” Seokmin offers, hoping he doesn’t seem too much like an idiot, because there has always been something about Wonwoo that makes Seokmin want to impress him a little. Maybe it’s because he’s subconsciously trying to wingman for Mingyu, or perhaps he can’t get over his initial impression of meeting Wonwoo at 3 am in his own kitchen with a knife.

 

“Sure,” Wonwoo replies, grabbing a glass, “I’m ton it.”

 

“Was that supposed to be a pun on tonic?” Soonyoung says from behind Seokmin, who spins around on his stool, “‘cause if so I’m kicking you out.”

 

“Soon, I pay half the rent, you can’t kick me out,” Wonwoo says, peering into the fridge, “I’ll kick you out first.”

 

“That’s okay, Seokmin can kick Mingyu out and I can live with my best friend and you can live with your boyfriend,” Soonyoung grins, slipping into the stool next to Seokmin and Seokmin cannot look away. It’s like seeing him for the first time again - as though he’d left his memories of Soonyoung in the conservatory as a sort of self-defense feature of his brain, and Soonyoung coming into the kitchen has put them all back in his head, but the wrong way round or something. Their friendship seems decolourised - void of details that Seokmin should have and misses with an inequitable amount of nostalgia.

 

But Soonyoung smiles at him, and Seokmin still smiles back.

 

“You okay, Seokseok?” Soonyoung says softly and Seokmin’s stomach wins Olympic gold for the parallel bars.

 

“Yeah, I’m good thanks,” Seokmin lies - or at least he thinks he’s lying. He’s honestly not sure.

 

“Ready to recommence Uno?” Soonyoung says, bumping Seokmin’s shoulder with his own.The light brush feels like a meteor.

 

“Actually I think when they realised a few people weren’t coming back they remade the teams,” says Wonwoo, handing Seokmin his drink, “there you go, Seokmin.”

 

“Thanks hyung,” Seokmin says lowly, surprised his voice isn’t shaking. The soft silence that results lets his own words turn over aimlessly in his mind and he almost feels blissfully empty of thought. The dull music coming from the living room feels like an echoing heartbeat keeping the room alive, and the pressure of conversation at bay. It’s nice, Seokmin thinks, feeling the gentle presence of Soonyoung and Wonwoo around him, to feel this small without feeling alone.

 

Maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe Seokmin’s just too lost in his own head, but when Soonyoung gives a small tired sigh and leans to rest his head against Seokmin’s shoulder, Seokmin can only watch, like a bystander to a car crash. The gentle incline of Soonyoung’s head tilted back against Seokmin, eyelids fluttered closed, seems so innocent and it makes Seokmin’s blood boil. He feels, used and disposable and the worst part is it’s his own fault; too much thinking and keeping stupid ideas inside his head that were always going to rip up his heart like caged, starved tigers freed.

 

But then again, Seokmin thinks as Soonyoung gives him a small, concerned smile, what right does Soonyoung have to take his hand as they walk in the street like it’s the natural thing to do, or look at him just before he leaves with those smiling eyes that seem to see Seokmin as all he is and be perfectly okay with just everything, when all the time the lingering brushes and little touches were all meant for someone else.

 

It feels like heartbreak. Disloyalty. Betrayal.

 

Betrayal that Seokmin has dreamt up completely on his own because it’s not like Soonyoung’s lead him on. He’s just an instinctively friendly person who instinctively clicked with Seokmin. Seokmin just wishes his instinct wasn’t to hold on to every little hint and read into every little thing that might tell him what he wants to hear.

 

Okay, maybe Seokmin is a little drunk. Like just a little - he can be fake deep if he wants to.

 

All the same - he’d rather it was only himself in the kitchen right now. And the bottle of gin.

 

“Hey lovebirds,” Seokmin barely contains his wince as Seungkwan waltzes into the kitchen, “and Wonwoo-hyung.”

 

“Hey, why aren’t I a lovebird?” Wonwoo asks.

 

“‘Cause Mingyu isn’t here,” Soonyoung mutters, eyes still shut and if he hadn’t said anything Seokmin might have thought he was dead to the world, as if in some kind of trance. He’s so still and Seokmin feels like he’s looking at him through layers of cellophane, lenses shifting and changing with every breath Soonyoung takes. It’s ridiculous, Seokmin thinks, how he can’t help but almost idolise Soonyoung. He doesn’t - cause that would be so horribly unhealthy that even Seokmin is aware it’s not entirely smart. Seokmin has some Bad Decisions under his belt but he refuses to let his life revolve around Soonyoung.

  


Wonwoo gives no sign of hearing Soonyoung’s quip but his ears do seem a little more reddish - it’s nice to see someone else in his own predicament, but making Wonwoo feel embarrassed is counterproductive to his roommate being happy and in love so Seokmin sadly has to put aside the opportunity of teasing Wonwoo further - at least for now, he can make up for lost time later when he’s the godfather of Mingyu and Wonwoo’s second child.

 

“Hyung, you can be a lovebird it’s chill,” Seokmin smiles, “the more the merrier.”

 

“Do you think that’s how Jeonghan-hyung pitched it to Jisoo-hyung?” asks Wonwoo with a wry smirk, “cause if so I’d be surprised.”

 

“Of course not, just cause Seokmin-hyung has no game doesn’t mean everyone else trying to start a polygamous relationship does,” Seungkwan says and ouch.

 

“Damn Seungkwan - no please don’t hold back, just assault my ego a bit more why don’t you?”

 

“To be fair it needs a bit of assaulting - you know, robbing the rich and all that.” Seokmin gives Soonyoung a look, only to find Soonyoung smiling up at him already and for the billionth time Seokmin is put in a position where it would be all too easy to just learn down and kiss Soonyoung’s forehead, Soonyoung’s nose or even Soonyoung’s lips. Okay, bad train of thought.

 

“Are you planning on mugging my ego?”

 

“Well when you put it like that - yes, yes I am.”

 

“Thanks for the warning,” Seokmin laughs, “Robin Hood.”

 

“If he’s Robin Hood, I call dibs on the singing chicken,” Seungkwan demands.

 

“I swear it’s a cockerel?” smiles Wonwoo.

 

“Hey I didn’t come here to be judged on my bird knowledge.”

 

“Well to be fair it’s pretty,” Wonwoo pauses, “fowl.”

 

“Shut up right now.”

 

“Get the fuck out.”

 

“Terrible,” laughs Soonyoung, “terrible. I love it.”

 

“You would, you pidgeon,” Seungkwan says scornfully.

 

“‘Pidgeon?’” Soonyoung barks out an incredulous laugh and sits up to look at Seungkwan, “what kind of insult is that?”

 

“A good one.”

 

“Go home Seungkwan-ah, you’re drunk,” Soonyoung smirks.

 

“Ahh no, hyung,” Seokmin whines, “that’s so old please don’t do this to me.”

 

“Our past is part of us Seokseok, you have to accept this.”

 

“Very deep, for a man who’s talking about memes.”

 

“Misplaced memes,” Seungkwan adds, “I’m not even drunk. I won Undo.”

 

“Do you mean ‘Uno’?”

 

“Do I mean your mum?” Seungkwan glares.

 

“What?” Wonwoo laughs, a little nervously, “how can you win Seokmin’s mum?”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Soonyoung grins, “we have a wild drunk Seungkwan in the building. My life has been MadeTM.”

 

“I’m pretty sure your life was made when your mum gave birth to you,” Wonwoo replies.

 

“Um, what about my year in the womb?”

 

“Don’t you mean 9 years?” Seokmin smiles as Soonyoung groans.

 

“Why must my mistakes haunt me like this?”

 

“‘Cause you have so many,” shrugs Wonwoo with a small smile.

 

“This doesn’t involve you,” Soonyoung pouts.

 

“No, but somehow I always end up being involved in things I don’t want to be when it comes to you.” Seokmin can relate.

 

“Um, rude-”

 

“Speaking of things you probably don’t want to be involved in,” interrupts Seungkwan, “we’re playing truth or dare in a bit.”

 

“Truth or dare? Is it normal rules or Jeonghan’s rules?” asks Seokmin darkly.

 

“What do you think?” Fuck.

 

“Fuck.”

 

“Mood,” whispers Soonyoung into Seokmin’s breast bone, producing a tickle of laughter.

 

“What’s Jeonghan’s rule?” asks Wonwoo suspiciously.

 

“It’s more gay.”

 

“Thank you, Seungkwan, for that detailed and graphic explanation.”

 

“No problem.”

 

“Well, it’s not a bad summary,” Seokmin sighs heavily, “Jeonghan’s version allows the truth or dare giver to provide an ultimatum - but it’s generally pretty, um -”

 

“Sexual,” Seungkwan finishes for him, “the ultimatum has to be the truth or the dare  - so they still have pick there - but the second option-”

 

“Which is always the same.”

 

“Which is always the same, yeah thanks hyung - is kissing a person of the truth or dare giver's choice.”

 

“It’s kind of like a mix of truth or dare and spin the bottle,” Seokmin summarises.

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever played this version,” Soonyoung laughs, and Seokmin isn’t sure if he imagines the nerves in his voice or not.

 

“That’s ‘cause Jeonghan made it up just so he can make people do wilder dares,” Seungkwan says sagely, “it seems fairer at face value, right? But really, it just gives more persuasive power to the dare - ‘cause like, I’d rather run around the house naked than kiss Seokmin-hyung - no offense.”

 

“None taken,” Seokmin smiles idly, but he’s not really listening, not anymore. The very thought of getting the energy up to play this game makes his bones feel drained - the thought of kissing makes his mouth feel dry and he feels nervous and just _looked at_ \-  self conscious in a way he hasn’t been since he was seventeen and got roped into going to house parties with his high school friends.

 

Seokmin hasn’t spoken to most of them in a while. He wonders if they saw him now - sitting in his boss’ kitchen, halfway to being drunk with the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen lying half on top of him - what would they think. Then again, he doesn’t really care.

 

“So I could go to Soonyoung and be like, ‘I dare you to kill a man or kiss Seokmin?’” questions Wonwoo with eyes that won’t meet Seokmin’s.

 

Kill a man or kiss Seokmin? Not to be dramatic, but they sound like the same thing to Seokmin.

 

If Soonyoung kissed him - right now, today, ever - it would be too much like confirmation that Seokmin is just a substitute, a wooden prop, a replacement for something better. For Jihoon.

 

“That’s easy,” Soonyoung says. Easy, easy, easy - the word echoes round Seokmin’s head, “I’d kiss my best bud, no sweat.”

 

“What’s a kiss between bros,” Seokmin offers weakly, feeling so very, very tired, “just guys being dudes.” Soonyoung’s laugh seems too big for the kitchen, the house, the world.

 

“Duys being gudes,” Soonyoung replies, grinning.

 

“Are you drunk?” asks Wonwoo, “because I can’t really tell if this is regular you two or drunk you two.”

 

“Nah, I’m not drunk,” Soonyoung replies, “not yet anyway - just high on life, my dude.”

 

“My gude.”

 

“Drink your damn drink, hyung,” Seungkwan says, shaking his head at Seokmin, “I don’t need your nonsense, I need comforting.”

 

“Comforting? Why do you need comforting?”

 

“Because I am now miserable.”

 

“Miserable?”

 

“I wasn’t aware there was an echo in here,” Seungkwan snarks.

 

“You should be,” Soonyoung says wisely, “it’s these high ceilings - very echo-y.”

 

“Mingyu-hyung has literally hit his head on this ceiling before,” Seungkwan deadpans.

 

“Well, it’s all about perspective,” Seokmin reasons, “the ceiling is high in comparison to you - I imagine the echo would be even louder if it were Jihoon-hyung speaking.”

 

“Anyway,” Wonwoo says loudly, “before Jihoon hears that, why are you miserable, Seungkwan?”

 

“Well, I have decided to be utterly inconsolable.”

 

“Can I ask why?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Will I get an answer?”

 

“Possibly.”

 

“...Do I still have to ask?”

 

“Yep.”

 

Seokmin sighs.

 

“Seungkwan, why are you inconsolable?” Soonyoung asks.

 

“And how can you choose to be miserable?” Wonwoo adds.

 

“Don’t ask him that, we won’t get anywhere,” Seokmin says quickly, “he’s being difficult.”

 

“No, I’m being Seungkwan.”

 

“Oh my god.”

 

“But I’m inconsolable,” Seungkwan says cheerfully, “because Hansol has been ignoring my texts all evening.”

 

“So we’re just your audience for your ode of woe to Hansol?” Wonwoo says, looking a little disgusted.

 

“Alright, literature major, have a chill.”

 

“Yeah, Wonwoo, have a chill,” Soonyoung laughs, “I can’t believe you’re being so excitable.”

 

“Can’t you? I thought excitability was Wonwoo’s main personality trait.”

 

“Um, excuse you, why are you talking about Wonwoo?” Seungkwan says with his signature unimpressed expression - or at least he’s  trying to, as it looks slightly hazy and miscalculated and therefore gives him more of a constipated vibe, “I came here to tell you about me.”

 

“Of course, Seungkwannie, please unload your struggles.”

 

“Well, I have a lot, you know, my life is very difficult.”

 

“You what.”

 

“For example,” Seungkwan continues, ignoring Soonyoung, “I miss my mum.”

 

“Can’t relate,” Soonyoung laughs, “I’m kidding, I love my mum - I got all my parental hate out when I was 13 and unsure of my sexuality.”

 

“Well that’s fun, but how is any of this relevant to the fact that Hansol has been ignoring Seungkwan’s texts, which was what I thought we were talking about?” Wonwoo asks tiredly.

 

“C’mon hyung,” Seokmin laughs, “that’s old news, we were talking about that like 2 years ago.”

 

“It’s been 3 minutes.”

 

“Time isn’t real,” Soonyoung says before Seokmin can, so Seokmin just laughs again and tries to ignore the pain in his chest.

 

“Where does that even -” Seungkwan starts, but he doesn’t get to finish.

 

“There you guys are!” Mingyu near shouts as he bounds into the kitchen - the sheer volume of his voice tells Seokmin that Mingyu is on his fourth, maybe fifth drink and, if he has anymore, will soon become Emotional Drunk Mingyu, “I’ve been looking for you guys everywhere.”

 

“Where did you check - the bathroom? This is hardly a mansion, Mingyu-hyung,” Seungkwan snorts.

 

“Damn Seungkwan, calm yourself,” Soonyoung says as Mingyu pouts, “maybe he did look in the bathroom, let him live.”

 

“To be fair, there are plenty of places to hide in a bathroom,” Wonwoo chimes in, and Seokmin doesn’t miss Mingyu’s grin, “I once spent a whole day hidden in someone’s bathroom and they didn’t notice.”

 

“Wonwoo, what the fuck.”

 

“Did they get a fucking restraining order, holy shit dude.”

 

“Ah no, it wasn’t like that!” Wonwoo says, trying desperately to make himself coherent through his laughter, “I just stayed the night with someone and then in the morning realised that they were cheating on someone else with me, ‘cause I heard them fighting while I was in the shower.”

 

“Couldn’t you like, jump out the window?” suggests Seungkwan.

 

“I would have, but my clothes were still in his room,” Wonwoo sighs, “I had to wait for them to leave before I could get my shit - but I got locked in.”

 

“Wonwoo-hyung, dude,” Seokmin says, “what is your life? Who even are you?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Do any of us really know who we are?”

 

“Okay, before this gets too fake deep, I feel obligated to tell you guys that we’re about to play truth or dare in the living room,” Mingyu says, leaning on Seokmin because apparently that’s the done thing tonight.

 

“I guess we don’t get a choice in whether we play or not?” Wonwoo asks grimly.

 

“Nope,” is Mingyu’s cheerful reply, “c’mon, hyung, it’s gonna be fun.”

 

“Somehow I doubt that,” sighs Seungkwan, “but let’s go.”

 

“Don’t fucking lie, you live for this kind of thing,” Seokmin laughs, getting up from his stool and following Seungkwan out of the kitchen.

 

“I can’t read suddenly, I don’t know.”

 

“Seungkwan, this is a verbal conversation.”

 

“What’s a verbal conversation?” Chan asks as Seungkwan sits next to him in the malformed circle that’s been made on the floor amongst the debris of plastic cups and uno cards.

 

“Your mum,” is Seungkwan’s helpful reply. Seungcheol gives him a look.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Seungkwan says, “it was the first thing that came to mind.”

 

“That’s the second time you’ve done it tonight though,” Seokmin reminds him, sitting down between Chan and Minghao as Wonwoo and Mingyu step around him to sit on the other side of the circle, “maybe you’ve become so drunk that all your funny jokes have gone and that’s all that’s left.”

 

“It’s like television,” Soonyoung says, learning over Minghao, “alcohol rots your brain.”

 

“I thought that was ecstasy,” says Junhui, thoughtfully.

 

“Well, what do you think they make alcohol out of?”

 

“What?” asks Chan confusedly as Seokmin laughs, “that’s stupid.”

 

“They’re stupid, Chan, don’t worry about it.”

 

“Hey Jihoonie, don’t be mean,” Soonyoung says with a grin and Seokmin braces himself for the flash flood of jealousy to sweep over him that sure enough comes as fast as it goes.

 

“And you always told me to be myself,” Jihoon sighs, “mixed messages, Soonyoung, mixed messages.”

 

“Right, guys, why don’t we stop being little bitches and get on with the damn game,” Junhui says before dramatically tipping his cup to the room and taking a long drink.

 

“Well said, that man,” says Jeonghan, taking Seungcheol’s empty bottle out of his hand, “now time to start some shit.”

 

“Wait,” says Seungcheol, “does everyone understand the rules?”

 

“Yes, Cheol, you explained them like five minutes ago.”

 

“I know, but not everyone was in the room and-”

 

“Don’t worry, hyung,” Seokmin sooths, “we explained it to the others in the kitchen.”

 

“Ah sweet, you guys wanna play too then?” Jisoo asks.

 

“Want is a very strong word here,” is Soonyoung’s reply, but he’s still grinning.

 

“Well then,” Jeonghan says, clapping his hands, “let’s begin.”

 

“Who’s going first?” asks Minghao, “and how do we decide who gets the question?”

 

“The bottle, duh,” says Jeonghan as he places the bottle down in the approximate centre of the circle - Seokmin’s getting a little dizzy and he can’t really tell, “just watch.”

 

With a practised hand, Jeonghan spins the bottle - or at least he lets it spin for a while, until it begins to slow, looking like it’s going to stop on Mingyu. But apparently this doesn’t go in accordance with Jeonghan’s plan, judging by the way he grabs the bottle mid spin, just before it stops, and manually turns it to face Chan.

 

“Wow.”

 

“Oh look Chan, it’s you,” Jeonghan smirks, “what are the chances?”

 

“Just ask your damn questions, hyung.”

 

“Now who taught you to swear like that?”

 

“Literally you,” Jeonghan - just give the poor boy his question,” Seungcheol smiles, with a mixture of disbelief, pity and amusement - mainly amusement.

 

“Fine, fine,” Jeonghan sighs, sounding as put upon as possible, “truth or dare?”

 

“Dare.”

 

“Oooh brave choice, Channie,” remarks Soonyoung.

 

“To be fair it’s the best choice,” shrugs Junhui, “Jeonghan’s only gonna ask about his love life and I don’t really want to hear about playschool drama, thanks.”

 

“Fuck you,” says Chan, “now give me the damn dare.”

 

“Okay, okay - you either have to impersonate Junhui or kiss,” Jeonghan pauses, looking around the room, “Seungkwan.”

 

“I’ll do the impersonation,” says Chan, quickly.

 

“I would be offended with how easy your decision was, but I’m not even mad,” says Seungkwan, looking a bit ill, “also you’re like 3.”

 

“Are the age jokes ever going to stop?”

 

“Sure - when we’re all dead and gone and you outlive us all,” grins Wonwoo.

 

“Just ignore them and do the impression,” Jisoo advises Chan with a smile.

 

“Hmm, yeah, interesting concept,” says Chan, “how?”

 

“That’s down to your interpretation.”

 

“What are you my literature teacher?”

 

“I hope not, you’re a shitty student.”

 

“Fuck you, I’m a great student,” Chan huffs, “straight As and all.”

 

“Chan, you’re not even straight,” Soonyoung grins, “now - off you go.”

 

Chan rolls his eyes for a second - but then schools his expression into possibly the greasiest smirk Seokmin has ever seen, throwing his arms around both Seungkwan and Seokmin’s shoulders.

 

“Hey guys,” he purrs, making Minghao nearly choke on his drink, “what’s going on?”

 

“Oh my god that’s what he says every rehearsal,” laughs Soonyoung, making a smile begin to flourish at the corners of Chan’s mouth.

 

“I second that,” smirks Chan, “also I’m gonna go and get get a drink can at least 3 of you guys come with me?”

 

“What? When am I like that?”

 

“Literally all the time.”

 

“And Minghao-ah,” Chan continues, ignoring Junhui and Jihoon’s bickering, “am I more cute or sexy to you?”

 

“I have been asked that before, can confirm,” Minghao grins.

 

“Also,” Chan’s smile turns evil, “I feel very sorry for you guys.”

 

“Why’s that?”

 

“None of you will ever be as handsome as me.”

 

“Ohh shit,” is Hansol’s contribution amongst the laughter.

 

“But I also am jealous of you guys.”

 

“Why’s that?”

 

“‘Cause you guys get to look at me all the time, while I only have my reflection.”

 

“I’m not really that sleazy,” laughs Junhui, a little unsure, “am I guys?”

 

“Uh, no comment.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“Don’t worry, hyung, you’re only like that sometimes,” Chan says, breaking character with a proud grin.

 

“None of you deserve me,” Junhui sniffs, but then seems to rethink, “apart from Minghao.”

 

“Okay sure,” Minghao laughs and for a second Junhui looks a little disappointed, almost - but as soon as it comes, it goes, “shall we move on?”

 

“Yeah, good plan,” Seungcheol says, “Chan, give it a spin.”

 

“Yes, dad,” Chan replies, his eyes going wide, “wait fuck.”

 

“Did you just-”

 

“He did.”

 

“I don’t believe it.”

 

“Why not? You’ve literally done it before yourself Seungkwan,” Seokmin grins as Seungkwan’s ears begin to take on a pink tinge.

 

“Get fucking told, Boo,” jeers Soonyoung as he holds out his hand to high five Seokmin, who quickly responds, and Seokmin knows the smile on his face is far too fond to be platonic but he’s a bit past caring or being sober now and therefore can’t bring himself to give a shit.

 

“Let’s just get on with this guys,” says Seungcheol who also looks a little embarrassed.

 

“Agreed,” says Chan, who reaches out and gives the bottle a strong flick, making it land on Jihoon, who is already rubbing his face tiredly.

 

“Jihoonie,” Soonyoung almost screams, “it’s you!”

 

“Thanks I hadn’t noticed.”

 

“Aw, come on how Jihoon,” Seungcheol grins, “at least try to have fun with it.”

 

“I would but you know me,” Jihoon says with a shrug as he raises his cup, “grumpy drunk.”

 

“You’re literally not even close to being drunk,” says an unimpressed Jeonghan.

 

“Even so,” Chan interrupts, “truth or dare?”

 

“Dare.”

 

“Damn, I guess no one’s revealing secrets tonight,” Hansol muses.

 

“Don’t worry - we can have a sleepover for that later,” Seokmin smirks.

 

“I know you’re taking the piss, but I’m here for that.”

 

“Shut up guys - I have the dare,” Chan says.

 

“Remember the-”

 

“Yes, hyung I remember the rule - now, Jihoon hyung,” Chan fixes Jihoon with his attempt at a serious look, “you can either compliment everyone in the room, or kiss,” Chan looks around, “Mingyu.”

 

“Um, I’ll take the dare thanks.”

 

“Shame,” Jeonghan puts, “no one’s been making out yet, this is getting boring.”

 

“Hyung, if you wanted to watch people make out you literally have two boyfriends right there,” Mingyu smiles

 

“That’s a good shout,” Jeonghan says, looking at Jisoo and Seungcheol expectantly.

 

“Maybe later,” replies Jisoo, rolling his eyes.

 

“Are you ready?” Wonwoo asks Jihoon.

 

“Not really, but I’ll try,” Jihoon says before he takes a sip of his drink, “let’s get this over with.”

 

“Are you gonna do this in some kind of order or-” Seungkwan begins.

 

“Seungkwan.”

 

“Okay, random is good.”

 

“You have adorable cheeks.”

 

“Oh thanks -”

 

“Wonwoo-hyung - you’re great at piggybacks.”

 

“Uh,” Wonwoo says, looking surprised more than anything, “cheers, I guess.”

 

“Minghao, you’re a savage and I love it - and Mingyu-ah,you’re tall.”

 

“‘You’re tall?’ What kind of compliment is that?”

 

“A good one when you’re my height,” Jihoon bites back.

 

“Okay, I can’t take anymore of this - Jihoon-ah you can owe everyone else a compliment, and do it when I’m not here cause this is just terrible,” Seungcheol intercepts.

 

“Jeez okay, I didn’t think I was doing that bad,” Jihoon grumbles.

 

“You aren’t, but it’s a bit surreal and overwhelming,” Soonyoung condoles.

 

“Just give it a spin, hyung,” Hansol advises.

 

“Sure,” Jihoon says, before reaching out to spin the bottle - which lands on Jisoo.

 

“Hit me with your best shot, Jihoon,” Jisoo grins.

 

“You asked for it hyung,” Jihoon smirks, “truth or dare?”

 

“Dare.” Jeonghan groans.

 

“Alright then - you either have to take off your shirt and let Soonyoung-hyung draw on your nipples or kiss Hansollie.”

 

“Um, when was I a part of this?” Soonyoung laughs.

 

“Since I decided that I don’t want to go around touching other people’s nipples.”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

“Well, I’m not kissing Hansol,” Jisoo says, “I don’t have a death wish - no offense Seungkwan-ah.”

 

“You what?” Seungkwan laughs, shakily, “what do I have to do with it?”

 

“Nevermind - it doesn’t matter.”

 

“C’mon hyung, get a move on, we haven’t got all night,” Soonyoung says, as he scrambles across the circle, “and does anyone have a pen.”

 

“Here, take this one,” offers Seungcheol, pulling a thick, black marker pen out of his pocket.

 

“Alright, boy scout,” Soonyoung smiles, taking the pen as Jisoo, pulls his shirt over his head.

 

“Daaaaaamn.”

 

“Shut up Jeonghan,” Jisoo says, looking a little flushed.

 

“What are you gonna draw, hyung?” Seokmin asks Soonyoung, who’s now crouched over Jisoo, nearly sitting in his lap.

 

“I’m gonna go for a self portrait,” responds Soonyoung uncapping the pen.

 

“Well how long is that gonna take you?” asks Seungkwan.

 

“I don’t know - you guys can carry on though - leave me and Josh to it.”

 

“Hey Hosh?”

 

“Yeah Josh?”

 

“You can spin for me.”

 

“Ah, I would be honoured to,” Soonyoung laughs as Jisoo flinches away from the cold touch of the pen, before scuttling backwards on all fours to spin the bottle.

 

“Nice yoga,” Seokmin snarks before the bottle lands on Wonwoo.

 

“You know it,” Soonyoung winks and Seokmin is very gay.

 

“Look, hyung it’s your turn,” says Mingyu throwing his arms around Wonwoo, to draw his attention to the bottle.

 

“Wait, did it land on Wonwoo?” Soonyoung says as he draws what looks like a pair of eyes beneath Jisoo’s left nipple.

 

“Yeah, it did,” replies Jisoo, looking over Soonyoung’s shoulder, “why, do you have an idea or something?” in response, Soonyoung just grins and reaches forward to whisper in Jisoo’s ear.

 

“You’re finished by the way,” Soonyoung adds, moving back as Jisoo laughs.

 

“Ah thank you - wait is that a little Josh and Hosh?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“With nipples for hair?” Minghao says incredulously, moving forward to get a better look.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Jihoon-ah, are you pleased with the masterpiece?” asks Junhui.

 

“Couldn’t do it better myself,” Jihoon grins.

 

“Well, not all of us can be artistic geniuses,” Soonyoung grins as he sits down, “now Wonwoo - truth or dare?”

 

“I thought it was Jisoo’s turn?”

 

“I have graciously handed it over to my boy, Hosh,” Jisoo replies as he puts his shirt back on.

 

“How kind of you,” Wonwoo says giving Soonyoung a piercing, suspicious glare.

 

“So I reiterate,” soonyoung smirks, “truth or dare.”

 

“Truth.”

 

“Oooh Jeon Wonwoo mixing it up!” Jeonghan cheers.

 

“Fine - you can either tell everyone in this room who your crush is or kiss,” Soonyoung’s eye rove around the room until they meet with Seokmin’s, “Seokmin.”

 

“Um,” is all Seokmin can say. He can feel his pulse thudding behind his eyes and his mouth feels dry - he doesn’t even know why. The knots in his stomach tell him nothing - except perhaps the threat of having to kiss someone after it’s been, well, a while since he’s kissed anyone, is just as terrifying as the threat of kissing someone he actually likes. Not that he dislikes Wonwoo, he’s a good friend it’s just he likes Soonyoung. A lot.

 

But then Seokmin stops. Is he really mentally friendzoning Wonwoo, when Wonwoo has just been given a perfect opportunity to tell Mingyu how he feels and then slip easily into a lovely, heartwarming, requited relationship?

 

So Seokmin laughs and grins at Mingyu, and idly wonders if he should get his phone out and film this so he can play it at Mingyu and Wonwoo’s wedding - but then Wonwoo is awkwardly standing up and walking across the circle. He must feel the eyes on him - there’s no way he couldn’t because everyone is staring at him in shock. Seokmin feels like he’s watching a car crash - but from the point of view of the car that gets crashed into.

 

Wonwoo comes to sit in front of Seokmin. He gives him a small smile that Seokmin doesn’t know if he returns because every inch of his body is too busy screaming how wrong this is. But there’s a twist in his gut and he nods his head and he thinks maybe this is for the best - it’s better to confess when you’re comfortable, maybe. He doesn’t really know. He just wishes Soonyoung had picked someone else.

 

When Wonwoo moves forward to kiss him, it feels like any other kiss. Wonwoo’s lips are warm and slightly dry and only really taste like the beer he’s been drinking all night- but there’s a hint of chocolate that Seokmin knows he won’t be able to forget for a long time after the brief press of lips is over and done with - because this is betraying Mingyu no matter how Seokmin wants to look at it. And he can’t fucking take it.

 

“Well that was,” Jeonghan seems lost for words, “that.”

 

“Yeah,” Mingyu says with a slightly plasticated smile, “it was.” Seokmin wants to skip this torture and just jump straight to the part when Satan takes his dumbass soul to hell.

 

“Shall we continue with the game?”

 

“Sure,” says Minghao, “let’s do that.”

 

“Uh actually,” Chan says, checking his phone, “I need to be heading home - my mum just texted me to tell me she’s outside.”

 

“She’s outside? Damn, what a queen for not coming in and trying to cramp your style. Props to her,” Junhui says.

 

“Hyung, don’t you think you cramped his style by using the phrase ‘cramp your style’?” Seungkwan replies. Junhui thinks for a minute.

 

“Touché.”

 

“Maybe we’re all the crampers of our own style,” Soonyoung adds, but he looks somewhat uncomfortable - Seokmin’s not surprised. Soonyoung probably expected Wonwoo to confess and no matter how okay Mingyu seems to want people to believe he is, Soonyoung won’t be able to escape the same guilt as Seokmin. At least Seokmin hopes so.

 

“I should be heading home too actually,” Mingyu smiles, and all this smiling is passing ‘unnerving’ and heading into ‘scary’ territory, “busy day tomorrow and all.” Seokmin doesn’t have the heart to bring up the fact that all Mingyu has planned for tomorrow is laundry and video games.

 

“Ah of course,” Jeonghan smiles kindly as one by one the whole group stands up and begins to make their way to the hall like a flock of slightly subdued seagulls, “thanks for coming Mingyu-ah.”

 

“No problem hyung, happy birthday by the way.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“I-I’ll go with you,” Seokmin says and when Mingyu’s smile becomes a little more pained he wished he hadn’t, “happy birthday, hyung, I had a great time - I hope you enjoy your calendar.”

 

“‘Enjoy’ is an interesting word for it, but I’ll try my best,” Jeonghan laughs, as Chan is released from Seungcheol’s hug, “ahh Channie, come here.”

 

“Ah hyung,” Chan whines as Jeonghan embraces him, “you’re too much.”

 

“I’m exactly the right amount and you know it,” Jeonghan grins as he pulls back, “now wish me a happy birthday and have a safe journey home.”

 

“Happy birthday hyung,” Chan sighs, but he’s smiling, “I hope you enjoy your night.”

 

“Oh I’m sure I will,” says Jeonghan salaciously.

 

“And I’m leaving,” Chan announces, while Seokmin is still pulling his slightly damp coat on, “see you guys soon!”

 

“See you, Chan!”

 

“Don’t be late for rehearsal,” Soonyoung shouts at Chan’s retreating back as he steps out into the rain. Soonyoung’s stood incredibly close now, and Seokmin doesn’t know if he wants to run or stay here forever.

 

“See you later, Soonyoung-hyung,” Seokmin mutters and he’s about to walk to the door where Mingyu is waiting - still smiling- when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry,” Soonyoung says softly, his warm hand feeling like lead on Seokmin’s shoulder, “I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

 

“Yeah well I don’t think anyone did,” Seokmin says, more meanly than he anticipated. Soonyoung’s hand, jumps away and Seokmin sighs, “I’m sorry - I’ll see you hyung.”

 

“Yeah, see you soon, Seokseok,” Soonyoung replies and Seokmin refuses to turn around cause if he does he knows the sadness in Soonyoung’s voice will make him want to either scream at Soonyoung or hold him close forever.

 

It’s with a heavy heart and burning skin that Seokmin leaves the warmth of Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s house with Mingyu in tow, but the difference in temperature seems a lot less jarring than when he arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see - again  
> remember when i said id update more in the summer? lol
> 
> but yeah im still working on this fic even if it has been over a year now (ew) but if you guys are willing to stick with me i promise an ending hopefully before 2019 lmao
> 
> as always constructive criticism is always welcome and your comments make my life <3
> 
> i have started another fic but that just to make sure i keep writing - if i write all the time i can more easily write if that makes sense
> 
> also bts comeback is tomorrow and im fucking not ready oh my god
> 
> once again thank you for reading and thank u to my lovely betas jess and claudi (who still hates jihoon and now hates soonyoung oops)

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic ever, but I felt the need to give my soonseok boys some love. all critcism is welcome.
> 
> thank you to jess, my lovely beta who has dealt with me wanting to punch myself in the face a thousand times a minute


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